I have a secret,...

I have been a master. A master of illusion. Often in the past it may have appeared that all was going well on the outside, meanwhile, on the inside I was spinning out of control with anxiety. I think it's important to write about this because I am often very surprised when other's share their perception of me with me. I have often been perceived as a rock, handling stress and managing things with ease (this might come as a surprise to my wife ;) as she has seen me unravel right before her very eyes) Anyway, I am here today to clarify that misconception, because it is important to realize that people may not be exactly what you think you see AND it's also important to share, so that we know when we are having challenging times that we are not alone.

I recently took a scary chance and shared my feelings of anxiety that were growing and gaining momentum. In that brave glorious moment the sky opened up and peace and ease where delivered to me when a coworker shared a little trick to help me manage those moments of anxiety and it has been such an amazing tool for me that I am going to share it with you.

When you're feeling anxiety, and not just anxiety, but anything that is less than desirable and you feel like you just might spin out of control,... I used to say, stop and take a breath, but sometimes (who am I kidding? often) as simple as it seems to just stop and take a breath, it can be very difficult because you've got this pattern of thought going and going and going and the momentum has gotten to a place that it feels virtually impossible to stop these crazy thoughts. One is just feeding the other and it can be challenging to just stop. So, here's the little trick, instead of trying to stop the flow of thoughts that seem to be taking you on a little internal tilt-a-whirl, switch your thoughts to counting. Counting? Yes, counting. Simple as, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.

It seems way too easy, I know, but it works!!! For me anyway. I was told that stopping the incessant thoughts by starting to count can retrain your brain. It's kinda like reprogramming. A fleeting thought occurs, example: "Why did he do that? Is he mad at me? He must be mad at me. Why else would he,..." You're probably familiar with the rest,...incessant thoughts rage on, until they ruin your day. Unless,... you stop them by beginning to count. Just keep counting until you feel the anxiety or frustration or whatever the negative feeling is, begin to melt away. So far the highest I've counted is 58. I've only been doing this for 4 or 5 days.

The more you interupt the process of negative emotion snowballing in your mind the quicker you will reprogram your brain to release the fleeting thoughts that do not serve you.

I can't believe that jerk just cut me off. Who does he think he is? Ranting and raving,... Blah blah blah blah,... One,... two,... three,... four,... five,... six,... seven,... eight,... nine,... ten,... eleven,... twelve *sigh* peace

Training your inner dog

I am a woman. I am a wife. I am a mom. I am a daughter, a friend, a lesbian, a cousin, a niece, a customer, a stranger and on and on,...

Bigger, than all those labels of roles I fill in this time I have chosen to walk this planet, I am an eternal spiritual being. I have been here before and I will be here again. Without the physical body of Angel Zamudio this lifetime will end and I will still exist because I am an Eternal Spiritual Being (ESB). The essence of me, the bundle of energy that makes me who I am will carry on long after Angel Zamudio is gone and that is because I AM. There is no label to define me. I am more than words.

I AM and You are too. What ever it is you are seeking, take a moment and close your eyes. If we really are ESB and we ARE, then every thing we could ever look for outside of ourselves is a limitless path of suffering because everything we could ever need is right there within. It's kind of like getting all worked up and stressed out because you can not find your keys and they were in your pocket the whole time.

The key is to stop the frantic search and look within. The answers, ALL of the answers are right there within you. Stop the frantic search. Stop the constant stream of thoughts. Take some slow deep breaths. Be still and allow the answers to flow.

If you are reading this and feel resistance developing, stop reading and just sit with that resistance. Allow it to be. Ask yourself what am I resisting. Allow the answers to flow to you.

Think of it like training a dog to walk with a loose leash. You begin on your walk and every single time your dog quickens his pace and makes the leash tight (resistance), you stop. Once your dog comes to a complete stop, you begin to walk again. Sometimes it will seem like you will never get through the walk because of how often you have to stop, but once you have trained your dog or your resistance to relax you will have a lifetime of pleasant walks.

It is worth the effort it takes to know the peace and happiness that exists in the realm of no resistance.

Sugar candy

As my Grandma used to say, Well,...aren't you just as sweet as sugar candy? If you can imagine it,... She spoke it in a strong Texan accent. I sure do love my Grandma and I sure do love my wife.

The reason I'm writing about what my Grandma used to say is because my wife is deserving of this little quote. This past weekend we had gotten ready to go out and about for the day and realized we were a little more tired than we thought. So, we decided to take a nap. It was a little bit of a bummer too because I had gone to the effort to style my hair instead of just throwing on a ball cap.

I was crawling into bed and said, Darn, I just fixed my hair. Keri said, oh well, it's fine. I whined a little and said, I just don't want to sleep my cuteness off. Without missing a beat Keri said, You could never sleep your cuteness off.

Isn't she just as sweet as sugar candy?? I'm about to get a cavity just thinking about how sweet she is to me.

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Are these the last tears I will cry?

I have been told time and time again that a belief is just a thought that you keep thinking. These words are so fucking frustrating. That is my belief. Why are these words so frustrating to me? BECAUSE if a belief really was "just" a thought that you keep thinking wouldn't changing your beliefs be as easy as changing your mind????

Let's see,... I think I'll have a bowl of ice cream. I love ice cream. Wait. What do I love about ice cream? I love the sweet creamy flavor melting on my tongue. Yummy. What else do I love about ice cream? Just ice cream! Not the waffle cone. Ok, not much else really, because ice cream usually upsets my stomach. Do I really love ice cream? I think I love the way ice cream tastes, but I DO NOT like the way it makes me feel. I know there are alternatives, but this really is just an example.

What is this an example of exactly? This is an example of the concept that I believe I love ice cream. The wonderful experience of eating ice cream is very short compared to the awful long experience of having a stomach ache caused by the short wonderful experience. Is it worth it? NOPE. So, have I changed my mind about the fact that I love ice cream? I sure have because the bigger experience is not something that brings me joy. I believe I don't like ice cream.

I believe defusing self-defeating thoughts is as easy as changing my mind. What belief do you have that does not serve you? I'll share one of mine with you. This self-defeating thought I've been thinking and saying since I was a child. I am sick and tired of feeling this way, so I am going to announce this to the world in an effort to defuse this self defeating belief once and for all.

An only child is a lonely child.

It brings tears to my eyes just to type out those words. I am SO FUCKING TIRED of the feelings those words create in my heart and in my soul. This is the perfect example of a self-defeating thought that I keep thinking that does NOT serve me!!! It does not bring me joy. I am done being a lonely child!!! I am part of a wonderful enormous loving family. I can not say that these are the last tears I will cry over these lonely feelings, BUT I can say that I believe this is the beginning of the end.

I believe I will change my mind in an effort to end this torture. I would much rather focus on the connections that I have that feel loving and supportive. I believe I am surrounded by love. I believe that I LIVE my life on purpose and with great intention to experience real connections. I don't have time in my life for superficiality. If it is not true and genuine I let it go. The perfect song to capture and convey this feeling inside me is sung by Clark Anderson on the Living Out Loud soundtrack titled Give Me Something Real.

Drop the mic. and walk off stage,...

T minus 24 to blast off

I hardly know where to begin,... It would be impossible for me to accurately convey to you all the growth I've encountered in the last couple of months, if it even has only been a couple of months,... I am not sure where this growth started. I guess it has been an ongoing thing all my life, but the last several weeks, upon reflection, have been VERY powerful.

It has been challenging and I have definitely been on the edge. It has felt like standing on the very edge of a HUGE drop off and I have amazing support in my life. This support has said to me: you are safe, I understand it looks like you're standing on the edge of a cliff, but that is only your perception. Trust me, the ground to stand upon is out there. Breathe deep and take a step out there, one step at a time. Look at me. Do you trust me? Do you know that you are loved? Do you know that you will not be lead astray? You are brave. Take the next step.

I am so grateful for this unconditional love and support in my life. This is not just one person. This support comes from many people because I am mindful in my choices of who is allowed in my circle. If you are close to me it is on purpose.

When I face challenges in my life I know I can boldly take the next scary step because of the army I have backing me. Thank you. Each and every one of you.

Overcoming challenges creates fuel and I am a rocket. Count down to blast off!

There is NO question in my mind where I will land.

Drainers Evicted!!!

We ALL have shit to work through, even the person that you look up to the most and hold in the highest regard has shit to process. It's just part of the deal you sign up for when you decide to walk the earth. You said yes to being human and when you said yes you knew there would be conflict and contrast.

The key ingredient of conflict and contrast is resistance. Resisting what IS,... your imperfections, the imperfections of your situation or the imperfections of someone you love, are in fact the source of your suffering.

Stop doing that!!!

How do you stop? The opposite of stop is start. The opposite of resist is allow. It's simple really,... Stand up and walk out. Get in some open space and feel the glorious freedom.

Start allowing.

We're all dealing with our own SHIT the best way we know how with our current level of awareness. So, just keep in mind how you've felt on a particularly shitty day. Take a moment to consider that someone who was rude or exceptionally reactive to you, could have just had a totally shitty day.

However, there are always exceptions to the rules. If someone is generally over reactive or consistently a source of drama, known as a drainer because they drain your life energy, clarify your expectations. Let your boundaries be known. If the suspected drainer doesn't respect your boundaries, it is up to you to evict them from your life and the sooner the better. Otherwise you are allowing the drainer to remain in your life.

The only person you can be aggravated with in a situation with a drainer, is yourself for allowing them to stay. This is your life. You have permission to decide who is in it.

Are you pickin' up what I'm puttin' down????

I don't know if it's in or if it's out, but I'm really diggin' giving people the thumbs up. Just to be clear I'm not just talking about peeps in my circle. I am talking about complete and utter strangers.

I saw a really cute older couple driving a new VW bug last week and when we stopped at the light, I looked over at them, smiled and gave them a thumbs up. The older woman in the passenger seat smiled waved back at me and gave me a thumbs up right back. It felt good.

Later that same day, I was on my way to pick up Keri from work and I was stopped at a light and I glanced over at the bus stop. There sat a 30's something dude with a curled up waxed mustache. I smiled at him and gave him a thumbs up. He had both of his hands in his front jeans pockets sitting on the bench and he smiled a shy smile and gave me a thumbs up right back.

It is that easy to make some one's day. Did these people really have their day made by a stranger giving them a thumbs up for reasons they have no way of knowing? I, like them, have no way of knowing, but what I do know is that it created happiness in me. I am the someone who had their day made and I did it all by myself. Well, not completely, because they were involved right? BUT I bet you a thumbs up, if you looked at yourself in the mirror and gave yourself a genuine thumb's up you would make your own day. What the hell!!! Get generous and give yourself two thumbs up!

Create good feelings in yourself and then share yourself with the world. I'm totally diggin' it.

We Luh ya' Puppy

Whenever I write about Waffles, I always feel I should clarify because I don't really know how many people are reading this blog. I imagine it is more than I know and that new people are discovering Apozitude all the time, so I have to be sure that when I mention Waffles, every one knows he's our sweet little golden retriever.

Waffles is the sweetest most gentle puppy you'll ever meet. He will be 12, July 13th. Wow, that's next month! I can't believe it, Puppy. He is so loved by so many. He has a very special spirit this Waffles Bear of ours. We feel tremendously blessed to share our lives with him. Do you know the song, I Luh ya Papi, by JLo? I sing that to Waffles all the time. I luh ya puppy. I, luh ya, luh ya, luh ya puppy.

The first week of May Waffles gave us quite a scare as he walked up to my wife, Keri, and leaned into her legs as he started to have a seizure. We weren't sure at first what was happening, but figured it out real quick. I have epilepsy myself, so I kind of feel like I had an idea of what he was experiencing. Keri has seen me have seizures before, so she had a different perspective on the situation. Together, I feel we handled it like a couple of pros.

After a trip to the emergency Vet that evening, our regular vet the next day, blood tests and much consideration, we decided to take him to a neurologist for an MRI and spinal tap to determine if a brain tumor was the cause. It was devastating news at first to have confirmation that a tumor had started to grow on his brain. We did further tests to rule out any other tumors in his body, once we knew what we were dealing with we decided to seek treatment.

Dr. Cyman gave us a good prognosis and laid out a course of radiation treatments. His treatments have been going just fine. I think if it were me enduring what he's going through, I'd be crying, just from the anesthesia very single day, but he's taking it like a champ. He's kinda drag ass going in for the treatments, but his energy is very good afterwards and he hasn't complained once.

During the weekends when he has a break from the radiation we do some of his favorite things. We took him to the beach before his treatments began and he played like a puppy, chasing the ball, exploring the beach and we've taken him to a local park where he threatened to chase some ducks, but was a little stand offish when the ducks reached the water. He needs a little ramping up to jump in water. We've played soccer and he really enjoys all of these activities, plus they provide him some exercise. It is also really good for Keri and I to see that he is his usual strong playful puppy self in spite of the tumor.

We have always said Waffles is our dog of dogs. He's such a wonderful sweet adorable puppy. We're very grateful for our sweet friends who have helped us get him to his appointments. 5 days a week for 4 weeks has been challenging, but we are happy that treatment is available and that we're able to make it happen. We made an agreement when we decided to adopt Waffles that we would do what ever we could manage to provide the longest healthiest life we could for him. We are keeping our promise and he has kept his promise too. :) He promised to be the BEST puppy in the whole wide world. We love you Waffles Bear.

Happy

I absolutely love the still quiet time of the morning when almost every one else is still asleep. I woke up around dark thirty this morning and I laid in bed tumbling ideas for my blog around in my head. I say it was dark thirty because I didn't look at the clock until I was trying to decide if I should just get up and start writing or try to go back to sleep. I peered over my sweet slumbering wife at the clock on her side of the bed. The little green digital numbers whispered to me, why don't you try to sleep a bit more it's only 3 in the morning. It's a very smart clock.

I went back to sleep with out much effort at all because I knew the next time I woke up, I would be a bit more rested and it would still be early enough for me to get some of that still quiet time I enjoy so much. I opened my eyes again and it was 5:15. Perfect!!!

I took Waffles, my adorable little golden retriever, out for a walk about. "Go Potty, go on" I love the cool morning air and how the silence hangs like a sheer curtain behind the sound of the breeze and the chirping birds. I look up at the trees and the sky and I express my gratitude aloud. I look at the sky all the time. The big beautiful sky. I smiled the whole time.

Watching the sky always warms my heart because it reminds me of a time when Garrison was about 4 years old. We were on our way to his daycare one morning and from the backseat I hear his little voice say, "Momma, look at the big beautiful sky". I can still see his little index finger-pointing up to the beautiful sun peeking through the clouds to greet us for the day.

I have so much to be grateful for and the sky is a constant reminder. I love my life!!!

Fly your Freak Flag

Every body is weird to somebody. It's inevitable. It's undeniable. Not a single one of use is raised the same way, not even two people in the same family. I see it all the time in my friends and family members who have siblings. Two people have two or more children and though the parenting style is exactly the same, it is perceived completely different by each sibling.

This lesson about every body being weird to some body goes back to when Garrison was growing up, well actually is goes back to the beginning of time. I remember this lesson growing up, but it wasn't until I was teaching it to Garrison that I finally embraced my inner weirdo.

My inner weirdo was so happy when I finally accepted her. She was so happy she couldn't contain herself and she quickly became my outer weirdo and before I knew it, (well,... forty some odd years later) I fully embraced the weirdo that I am and I don't have to hide her, ME any more.

I am myself.

I just finally got tired of asking myself, Why am I not myself??? WHY? am I not myself? Why AM I not myself? Why am I NOT myself? Why am I not MYSELF?

When you finally get sick of being someone who is not true to yourself, you don't give a shit what anybody else thinks because you are too busy enjoying the hell out of being yourself. If someone doesn't like it, well, they don't have to hang around. I am going to dance like a fool. I am going to sing off-key. I am going to facilitate fun and I am going to experience people the way I, Angel Zamudio, choose to do so.

You have choices too. You can stay and have fun accepting me for who I am, you can stay and judge me, or you can leave. One thing is for sure though, I will no longer keep myself tethered. It feels too utterly amazing to be my whole true self. So, look out world cuz this weirdo is flying her freak flag high!!!

Gratitude and Tears of Joy

I don't know about other people, but when I share a moment of love or joy with someone it makes a lasting impression on me. I can remember fine details about the sound of their voice, the expression on their face and the volumes that their body language speaks. I am very grateful for these observation skills because it allows me carry smiles around with me in my mind. I can imagine them and actually relive moments of joy and love.

I can totally picture the adorable smiles you get on your faces when you hear something that pleases you. I can see the little tears that well up a bit in some of your eyes even when you're happy or the way some of you scrunch up your nose. I can imagine others of you tossing your head back as you guffaw. These are precious and treasured memories. Thank you all for sharing yourselves with me.

Although my dad passed away almost 9 years ago, I can still hear his voice in my head saying, "tears of joy, tears of joy". He said that every single time he told me about the day I was born and every time he told me that story he cried tears of joy.

Happy Father's Day

You just never know when something amazing is going to happen. Here's a fine example. Keri and I went to Freddie's this weekend to do some shopping and we decided it was time to take our bottles in to the recycle center. I usually do the recycling while she starts the shopping and that is what we did this time too.

There was only one operational machine, which is not really a big deal to me. I mean there are 3 or 4 machines, but sometimes they have a glass jam, the bin needs to be emptied or any number of other thigs. Anyway, there was a guy there before me and I was waiting patiently. He glanced back at me and let me know that he pressed the button on the intercom thingy to request service. I thanked him and continued to wait. I had my coffee in hand and it was a beautiful day. As I waited I noticed the man recycling had on a vest that totally reminded me of my dad and that was before I had even realized the patch he attached to it.

The patch was about as big as a dinner plate and was sewn to the back of his vest. I told him I liked his vest. He thanked me and replied, 'It says alot". Yes, indeed sir. I asked him if he served and he said, "Yes. I'm a veitnam vet" and promptly thanked him for his service and asked what branch. Army. I followed up with the fact that my dad served in veitnam as well in the Marines. It was a brief encounter, but it really meant a great deal to me. He finished up his recycling before I did and as he was walking off he turned around and said, "God Bless you". I wanted to hug him, but I wasn't sure he was the get a hug from a stranger kinda guy, so I thanked him again and said have a good day sir.

When I finished my recycling I went in to look for Keri. I always check the produce section first, as the majority of our list comes from that area. The Veteran was there, but keri wasn't. I walked up to him and said, Excuse me sir,... I just wanted to thank you for your time out there. I really miss my dad and your willingness to chat with me really brought his closeness back to me. He said, "Not a problem. It didn't get too deep."

I think it's difficult for people who have served during war times to revisit that time in their lives. I know my dad never really talked about it much at all. When I found Keri I asked her to step down an isle that was empty. She said sure what's going on. I started to cry a bit as she was hugging me right there in the wine isle at Fred Meyer and I said, I miss my dad. She was very sweet as she hugged and comforted me.

Father's day is coming up this weekend and I just want to remember my dad for the amazing man that he was. He was not perfect and he had his flaws, but he was the best dad in the whole wide world to me. I loved his big wet kisses and his big'ol bear hugs. I loved his love of life attutude and the fact that he never met a person that didn't end up being his friend. I loved all the games we played, the songs we sang and all the tickle fights we had.

I love you Daddy.


I also want to take this opportunity to express my happiness and gratitude for the fatherly figures I currently have in my life. Mike Ashland and Dean Wallace, you guys may not know it, but you both mean the world to me and my eyes are welling up with tears as I type these words of appreciation. I am certain my dad would be happy to know his little girl had fine men such as yourselves in her life.

There is more to share about the man I met at the recycling center, but I'm going to save that amazing experience for another time. Thank you

Who la?

Life is so full of amazing experiences. Just this past weekend Keri and I went about our ordinary weekend errands which included Fred Meyer, Trader Joes and New Seasons. However, this weekend it was no ordinary trip to Joe's.

One of our favorite clerks was out front with three hula hoops. She had gotten one of her co-workers to join her when Keri and I were approaching the entrance. She smiled real big and asked us to join her. Keri was just ahead of me a bit and said I'll pass, but this one will join you, as she was pointing at me over her shoulder with her thumb.

I could feel my face light up at the prospect of joining the hula hoop gang. I stayed outside and did the hula hoop while Keri went in and did all the shopping. It was so fun I went right out and got myself a hoop.

Thank you Keri for doing the shopping while I played and now I have my own hoop. Ripped abs here I come.

It's easier than you might think,...

I just want to present a simple concept here that has the power to end your suffering. The endless stream of thoughts that play over and over and over in your mind,... they are only endless and torturous because you do not yet realize that you have the power to stop them.

Retrain your brain

I have been learning about a very cool concept called cognitive restructuring. It was explained to me like this, our brains can receive over 2 million messages at a time. So, an event happens, the brain does it's job of receiving information regarding the event and all the other stimuli going on around the event, then the brain developes an interpretation through the utilization of a lens or a filter.

The brain uses this lens or filter to help quickly asses the situation and determine what the appropriate response would be. However, the lens contains a couple of key components that affect the interpretation, one being our past experiences and the other is our beliefs.

As we all know, past experiences can very strongly affect how we expect certain situations to play out, which lead us to create a belief. Such as, in the past it was my belief that if I wanted something different than my wife, it would create a conflict. Which I've discovered, really is not all that bad in reality. So, we want different things. So what? We make compromises.

This realization was brought to me through the utilization of cognitive restructuring. As I said, "in the past it was my belief", however I realized through several uncomfortable conversations my perception was not wrong, wanting different things did create conflict, but it wasn't something that we haven't been able to talk about and work through. These conversations have lead to clarification and increased levels of happiness and mutual respect.

Many people don't realize this, but when you use your brain to anticipate "what may happen", you are actually sending a message out into the universe and calling on the energy of the ultimate creative source to deliver what you are imagining. The concept is called the Law of Attraction. What you think about, you bring about and it works weither you believe it or not.

Awareness is the tool I am using to create a helpful blog. I am hopeful your new or reminded awareness is of some use to you today and as you move forward through your day.

Carry on

It is becoming more and more clear to me that THE ONLY thing I have control over is myself. I can control my reactions when I am verbally assaulted. I can control my thoughts when a situation in my environment is spinning out of control like a Tasmanian devil. I can control my exposure to toxic personalities. I can control my breath when my ego is stirred up.

I am very proud to choose the high road, because I know like I know like I know that the universe is responding to my vibration.

I am an ocean THIS is a ripple.

Patience. Not just the ability to wait,...

I was talking with a friend of mine the other day about challenges and delights of growing out my hair. He understood as he said he once was trying to grow out his hair. He spoke of wearing a little plastic head band to keep this hair out of his face and how trendy it made him feel. My friend mentioned during the process of growing out his hair he thought many times it would be a great idea to start a support group for people that were sharing this arduous task. It's a great idea.

Growing out your hair can be so frustrating. There are days when you simply do not have the energy or the time to style your hair. When you have had a very simple, short, wash and go hair style for as long as I did, growing out your hair can be very tiresome. I just want to chop it off sometimes. Besides the fact that it can be challenging to have the patience to do it, you also have to take into consideration that you'll need a certain ability to be able to style your new longer hair.

A support group would be nice. We could meet and share our challenges. We could teach each other tips and tricks to styling longer, BUT not quite long enough hair. We could encourage each other to hold true to our desire to want longer hair. I read on Facebook the other day a quote that read, Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to remain calm while you wait. A support group would be very helpful.

In the last several weeks I've purchased scarves to tie up my hair, bobby pins, head bands, a brush, a comb, hair products and unpacked all the hats I can find. I decided to start letting my hair grow last June. It's getting there.

Btw, I still am a day dreamer.

Walking across a parking lot one day this past weekend, I stepped over a patch of oil in one of the parking spots. As I did this I could clearly hear a voice in my head from my childhood, my mom's voice, Don't step in the oil!!

I don't know why it makes me smile every time it crosses my mind. Maybe it's because it used to startle the shit out of me when I was a kid. I was always kinda in my own little world. You know, taking in the sights, watching the clouds drift by that looked like a clown feeding an ice cream to a little wiener dog and day dreaming as I walked from here to there. Watching the leaves rustle in the breeze and all of a sudden my mom hollers out, "Don't step in the oil!"

It was startling. It stopped me in my tracks.

I understand now, she didn't want oil on my shoes tracking in on the carpet. It apparently made quite an impression on me. I haven't actually heard her say that in probably 30+ years, but I still hear it in my mind just about any time I walk across a parking lot. I love my momma. We always have a good laugh when we're on the phone or in person. I am so grateful.

You want to change the world???

I read a speech last week that Naval Admiral William H. McRaven gave to the graduating class of 2014 from the University of Texas. The speech was based on 10 lessons he learned in the basic SEAL training program. He shared these lessons with the graduating class because the University's slogan is,

"What starts here changes the world."

Admiral McRaven said, "I have to admit, I kinda' like it" So, he offered these 10 lessons with hope they would have value as the students moved forward. It was very compelling. I liked it so much, I read the speech, then listened to him give the speech and even took pictures of the words he spoke. You might say, I loved it!!!

I was tempted to list the 10 lessons here, but I changed my mind. I'll link the speech to this blog and you can decide for yourself what your favorite part will be. I loved the whole thing, but the part that really stuck out in my mind was lesson #7.



I LOVE the image this created in my mind. This is what you have to do to bullies and once you do "punch a shark in the snout" meaning stand up to a bully they really do swim off. The reason is the same now as when I was teaching this lesson to Garrison in the second grade. Bullies are trying to get a reaction out of you and when you stand up to them they fall away as if they're made of ash.

It can be scary, but you must remember, It is going to work out...and if it doesn't, then you need to move on!

What's in a moment?

Life is full of reasons to smile. Life is full of reasons to celebrate. Life is full of reasons shut down. Life is full of reasons to point our fingers at others in blame for bad situations in life, but of all these things in life, ALL we truly HAVE is this moment. This moment holds so much promise. This moment holds so much hope.

In this moment YOU have a choice. You can focus on what brings a smile to your face and makes you want to get up and dance or you can turn your cheek on that opportunity and you can sit down and pout.

As for me, I love to smile. I love to hug. I love to dance. I love to sing. I love to laugh. I love my life because I make an intentional decision to focus on the things that make me happy. I'm not saying that I'm perfect at it and I am happy all the time. I, often, have to recommit to the decision to be happy, but I just keep on making that choice.

The more I choose to be happy, the smaller the not happy gaps get.

Can she swallow a sword?

I had a very nice surprise visitor in my office the other day. He stopped by to pick up his electric toothbrush and a hug, to be honest with you, I think the toothbrush was an excuse. He really just came for the hugs. It's a darn good thing too, because I had taken his toothbrush home to deliver it in person. We just hadn't connected yet, so when he arrived all he was able to pick up were the hugs.

He seemed satisfied. Some of you may not know this, but I do give life affirming hugs and that's not just my perception. There is an actual documented case when I gave someone a hug and we parted from the hug, he held my shoulders in his hands, looked me right in the face and said, "Your hugs are life affirming". That was such a sweet thing for him to say.

I think I'll add that to my resume'. Ability to give life affirming hugs.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="300"] Hurry! Hurry! Step right up![/caption]

This whole scene just played out in my mind. Picture and old style circus. There's a guy wearing a red long tales jacket, a top hat and has a nicely curled mustache. He's standing on a wooden box outside a little red and white striped tent. The dapper gent yelling out into a crowd of people, "Hurry! Hurry folks! Step right up! Right before your eyes the amazing Angel of Apozitude will blow your mind. Can she breathe fire? No! Can she swallow a sword? Oh no! That is just a simple trick. Just inside this tent you will be amazed! Behind this flap you can receive a hug that will fill your soul!!! Your life will be at peace during your embrace. You will feel the loving embrace of a life affirming hug. Hurry Hurry. Don't pass up the chance to feel the love".

I believe in the power of hugs. I believe my surprise visitor drove to my office with the intention of receiving one of these hugs. He stepped right up and I wrapped my arms around him and I hugged him. To say that I believe in the power of hugs means I believe in the power of love. It's no trick and it's not an act. It is love.