The key ingredient of conflict and contrast is resistance. Resisting what IS,... your imperfections, the imperfections of your situation or the imperfections of someone you love, are in fact the source of your suffering.
Stop doing that!!!
How do you stop? The opposite of stop is start. The opposite of resist is allow. It's simple really,... Stand up and walk out. Get in some open space and feel the glorious freedom.
Start allowing.
We're all dealing with our own SHIT the best way we know how with our current level of awareness. So, just keep in mind how you've felt on a particularly shitty day. Take a moment to consider that someone who was rude or exceptionally reactive to you, could have just had a totally shitty day.
However, there are always exceptions to the rules. If someone is generally over reactive or consistently a source of drama, known as a drainer because they drain your life energy, clarify your expectations. Let your boundaries be known. If the suspected drainer doesn't respect your boundaries, it is up to you to evict them from your life and the sooner the better. Otherwise you are allowing the drainer to remain in your life.
The only person you can be aggravated with in a situation with a drainer, is yourself for allowing them to stay. This is your life. You have permission to decide who is in it.
You left this message the day after I finally got the guts to ask my partner to leave. I've been in a abusive relationship for quite sometime now. I was so scare I couldn't do it on my own, so I never forced him to go. I felt like I needed him there for financial assistance. In just the week he's been gone I've felt lighter...relaxed. Although anxious about how to make ends meet I know I made the right decision. It was almost like fate telling me I had made the right decision when I read this blog posting the morning after. Granted I am replying a little late, but as a newly single mother to two little girls I've been a bit busy. Thank you Angel.
ReplyDeleteSmile and breathe. Rebecca