Stretching my assertive muscles

It totally SUCKS to feel stuck. Believe me. I know. BUT the opposite of feeling stuck is feeling free and that feels totally and completely amazing. Sometimes we are so stuck we don't even realize that the one that is trapping us in this feeling of being stuck is our own damn selves.

We are living our lives the way that we have figured out works best for us, with our current set of coping skills and then all of a sudden we bump into a barrier. We are so blinded by irrational fear, blame and inner turmoil (current coping skills) that we don't even recognize ourselves standing right there in our own way.

Then one day we get SICK and TIRED of bumping into this damn barrier and we break down and cry wondering why our coping skills don't work anymore. Well, I'm not sure why any one of us decides to trade in our old skills for new ones, but for me I discovered I was not happy carrying around the irrational fear, and I was exhausted from the mental gymnastics that only provided a veil of happiness. I truly wanted true deep genuine happiness and to get to that I had to look at myself.

I learned that for me, passive was putting everyone else's feelings before mine which created a false sense of happiness and a sense of resentment which lead to being aggressive, putting my feelings above everyone else's. I didn't like that at all. That's just not my style. But, wait!!!! There's another option. Yes. It's true.

Angel, I'd like to introduce you to a little thing called being assertive. Oh, Hi assertive let's play and be friends. OK, I like the way that sounds. Assertive people take everyone's feelings into consideration and weigh out all the information, coming to a mutual decision. What a sense of relief!!!!! What a sense of freedom!!!!

Look at me stretching my new assertive muscles. I feel like doing the Saturday night fever strut!