Angel who?

Why are people so hard on themselves? Why do people put themselves last? Why do people get right in their own damn way of growth? I am seriously asking these questions because I am trying to figure out the answers to my own shit. I am not kidding, nor am I bragging when I tell you that I have been told a time or two what a wonderful person I am, so why don't I feel that on the inside. I am ready to feel wonderful from the inside out. I am so fucking tired of jumping through hoops to make sure everyone else is happy. I wanna be happy. I want my wants to be first on some damn list. Who is going to put MY wants first on their list? I'm not really saying that I am a sad person on the inside, because I'm not. I really am a happy person, so what the hell am I saying? I guess I'm saying I'm confused.

I am trying to figure out who I am.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="225"] Taking an honest look at myself.[/caption]

Nobody is making me put everyone else's wants and needs before my own, I just do it because I want everyone to be happy. Well guess what! It's my turn. I want to be happy and I am on my way. I am not saying I wanna be a bitch and disregard everyone else. All I am saying is I want my happiness to be given equal consideration and the person that needs to hear, comprehend and live this is ME.

I've been told I couldn't be a bitch if I tried. I'm just too nice and considerate of others to be a bitch, but sometimes I feel like I am just fed up and wanna slap somebody. I guess the one I should be slapping is myself for putting up with myself for allowing myself to live this way.

Well, NO MORE! It feels good to know change is on the horizon.