Turning It Around

I was not able to stay at work on Tuesday of this last week. I wasn't tracking properly. I was having a difficult time understanding what people were saying and I felt my mental acuity was dulled. I felt I wasn't being of benefit to anyone because what one might have expected of me usually was not at all what I was able to deliver that day. It was weird. It was kinda like my brain,... was in a way telling me to take a rest.

So, I went home. I took another shower. It had only been 5 hours since my 1st shower of the day, but I said aloud to myself as I looked at myself in the mirror, "Let's try this again. Wash the first part of this day away."

I decided since I was going to be taking a day for myself I would take myself to the DMV and update my drivers licence to my new name. I am officially Angel Rene Zamudio. A tiny little secret about the author of Apozitude, my birth name was Angela Rene Zamudio. No offense to my mom and dad, but I just never felt like an Angela. I have ALWAYS gone by Angel and I just wanted it to be official. I want all my doctors to call me Angel. I want everyone in every situation to be clear on the fact that I am Angel not Angela and it is now legal and official. It feels so good.

Doing this on that day when I felt I wasn't a benefit to anyone totally turned my whole day around. I went to the social security office after the DMV and it took me maybe 5-7 minutes to apply for a replacement SS card. I was so happy at that point I couldn't decide what to do. I thought I'd go to a coffee shop and write but it didn't feel right. I was hesitant to go home because the house was empty, but I just didn't know what to do, so I headed in the direction of home. At a light I noticed Keri had sent me a text, "call me when you can". I pulled over and called.

Guess what!!! She called Judy, the breeder we got Waffles from 12 years ago and Judy has two mommy dogs that are expecting to deliver in October. That means we will have a puppy by Christmas time and that puppy will be a blood relative to Waffles. We are so excited and it feels so good to focus on something that brings us both so much joy. If it feels good focus on it more.

Process of Healing

I can not lie and I have to admit that when I got home from work last week, I looked for Waffles. I looked for him every time I got out of bed, so I wouldn't step on him. I think about him every time I open a baby bell cheese or anything else that crinkles, like seaweed snacks, potato chips and crackers. I think about him when I drive past places we walked which was all over the place, because he liked to sniff out new places and he enjoyed seeing new paths. So, we took him everywhere.

I had been keeping all of this to myself because I didn't want to upset Keri. I wondered if sharing these things with her would be upsetting or comforting? The thing is it seems I loved that Waffles Bear more than I realized. It seems like I would know how much I love him, but loosing him makes it very clear and it hurts sometimes to talk about him and I don't wanna hurt. I have a feeling that Keri doesn't want to hurt anymore either, because I noticed one day last week that she had taken all but one of his pictures off the fridge.

The house feels so different without his bed at the base of my chair, without his food bowls in the kitchen, without his couch covered in his blanket and no babies strewn about the floor. I do miss him so very much and with tears in my eyes, a lump in my throat and an ache in my heart I know with every fiber of my being that he is in a much better place. I know he has relief from the body that was failing him. His eyes were sharp and clear until the last hours of his life. He was tired and his body could no longer do the things he loved so much.

I did talk to Keri about my feelings and these tugs on my heart and it turned out to be of comfort to her. She told me I didn't have to be the strong one and we both are going through this process. We are graciously allowing each other the space we need to process in our own ways.

Life Instructions or destructions

So if you are an avid Apozitude reader you noticed there was a blog this week that came straight from my journal dated 12-14-08. Well upon reviewing that journal I stumbled across another journal entry that I'd like to share. It's a little more jumbled, so I thought I'd rewrite it a little clearer for you here. I've written about this before, but not from this perspective.

Back in 2008 I was suffering with very bad back pain and going to great lengths to relieve my pain. Chiropractic treatments, acupuncture, yoga, Chinese herbs, muscle relaxers, hot baths, ice packs and smoking pot. Nothing seemed to be working for any prolonged length of time. I would find short periods of relief, but nothing lasting.

I had doubts about going to the doctor because I had been told, "Back pain is very mysterious and difficult to diagnose and treat". I didn't want to live out the rest of my life on pain killers and muscle relaxers. After crying and feeling like I was at the end of my rope I started asking myself, "What am I supposed to learn from this back pain?" and as if words floated into my mind on a soft pillowy cloud I thought. Acceptance is the key.

Quickly my mind asked another question, "The key? The key to what?". Just as soft and airy as before I received this answer, Acceptance is the key to the lock. Again, eager to know my mind asked, "What lock?" The calm gentle voice answered, The lock is anything. Then as if knowledge was pouring over me I thought Acceptance is the key to the lock that holds the pain inside me. Well, now that I know what is the key is what do I do? A little firmer this time the voice said, Use it. Use the key "acceptance" to unlock the pain. Accept the pain to get beyond it.

I remember sitting in my chair crying and imagining myself embracing the tremendous pain I was feeling and I was not about to let go of that embrace until I felt certain I was ready to release it. I wanted to totally embrace it and totally accept it. I wanted nothing else to do with that pain. If it is true that acceptance is the key it seems then that acceptance is the key that sets you free. Free from fear. Free from pain. Freedom to move on. Freedom to courageously take positive action.

It is happening exactly the way I've been reading it would happen. It's as if I woke up and KNOW the truths that I've been reading about. The truth is exactly where they have been claiming it would be; right there the whole time. All you have to do is open your eyes and remove the veil that covers everything that is real.

The veil is a filter. While you are under the veil, you can hear the truth, but can not know the truth until you see the truth. Once you see the truth you can live the truth. The funny thing about the veil is you don't even realize you are wearing it, until one day you wake up and magically become aware. It seems you have heard something somewhere along the way about a veil, but you've never seen it. Therefore, you don't even know it exists. You think you see things clearly because you hear all the words that point you in the direction of love, freedom and peace, but for some reason you are unable to attain these things in your life.

The abscence of desired circumstances in your life is because the true path is distorted by the veil. The veil is made of false pretense and until you care enough about how you feel, your life will remain in this realm of manifesting unwanted things. So, to recap, accpetance is the key. When you accept things as they are you release the resistance and create space for clarity to move in. There you go, that's the secret. Now go practice and keep practicing until you're done or don't it's ALL up to you.

He'll be 24 in October. WOW!

Right out of my journal from 12-14-08
Well, I got older since I wrote last. Generally speaking that happens every time, right? Every time I write I'm older than the last time I wrote. Aging doesn't really bother me. I feel young, I am young. This is not one of those, "Say it till you believe it" things. I really am young. I really do feel young. I am discovering who I am. I know a great deal about myself.

Recently, I've been thinking and processing my idea of who I am in relationship to Garrison. I've been reading a book that is for men called, Mothers, Sons and Lovers. The premiss is how a man's relationship with his mom affects all other relationships. I've not read a great deal of the book, but what I have gleaned so far is that I've done the best I could do with the tools that I have. I feel like I did the right thing by not allowing Garrison to move in with his dad until he was older and really he made the decision to move all on his own, which I see as a really great thing.

Garrison felt he needed something different from his life than what he was getting here in Oregon with Keri and I and he made the decision for his his life. That is a brave thing to do for a 16-year-old young man. Good for him! I always told him, "This is your life and you have to live it your own way" and that is exactly what he is doing.

I can't teach what I don't know, so I taught what I do know. I used some of the tools my mom gave me and some I didn't find useful, he will do the same. The main thing regarding Garrison is I want him to be happy and true to himself. If true to himself is in Oklahoma then I support it and I mean that sincerely. I had to be true to myself and move to Oregon which is away from my mom. Being true to myself and moving wasn't about getting away from my mom, it just happened to work out that way. It's so much easier for me to be the mom that I am when I reflect on myself at Garrison's age. I have Keri to thank for that perspective.

I asked my mom recently how long it took for us to become "friends" she thought the easy flow didn't come until late to mid 30s. I believe it will be different for Garrison and I. I'm not sure how it will pan out, but I trust that we will be close. As close as we want, while remaining true to ourselves and whatever kind of relationship comes out of a mom and a son being true to themselves delivers is the kind of relationship we will have. For now and for always I will let it be. I feel like I have raised him with the idea in mind that he is not responsible for my happiness or my emotional stability. I was I was responsible for him when he was young, but he is taking over that job now and he will do his best.

I had an "aha moment" right before my birthday as I was wondering if he would call or contact me and I decided I'd have a happy birthday whether he contacted me or not because my happiness doesn't depend on him, it depends on me. The sweet boy sent me a text. What a great gift from him, just the thought of me and follow through with contact. "Everything is unfloding in it's perfect time and I'm enjoying where I am now in relationship to where I'm going. Content where I am, and eager for more" I have a great deal more to learning and I'm eager for more.

That's all,...

Your vibration today has no connection to the vibration you had yesterday unless you link them up. Be easy about it. Don't beat yourself up over it.

No words

Until we meet again, my sweet

Ebbing and flowing between my knowing and my feelings of loss. I am happy for my puppy and his path of least resistance. He is getting his upgrade today. He is re-emerging into non-physical and will claim a fresh new puppy body, so that he may rejoin all of the things he loves best. Chasing the ball, running on the beach, hiking a new trail, sniffing out new adventures.

We will summon the best of you into our new furry friend. Safe travels Waffles Bear, our sweet golden boy.

Think Again, Sir

OMG!!!! Keri is so hilarious sometimes. This weekend when we were coming home from the Farmer's Market, Nicki Minaj's cover of Baby Got Back was on the radio. Sir Mix-a-lot sang his part about, "my anaconda don't want some unless you've got buns hon" and Keri said, I don't really want to be thinking about his anaconda and let's just be honest, it's probably more like a garter snake. right?

Oh Lord! She cracks me up. We have so much fun together and it just keeps getting better and better. I sure do love my wife.

No Half Assed Meditation Here.

Throughout my life I have sort of been a half-assed meditator, meaning I would meditate when I was stressed, angry or upset. I have had some amazing paradigm shifts in my life as a result of mediation in those times of distress. I can remember shifting beyond caring about what a bully in my life thought and then reveling with delight to myself when that particular person made another attempt to bully me. What a sense of relief to move past such a consuming feeling of being small and inconsequential. I felt as if I grew 6 feet that day.

In other times of extreme pain, I've meditated to get beyond it and it worked. I'm not saying the meditation took away the pain completely, but it certainly did take the edge off. Ultimately, though, meditation did take away the pain because the clarity I gained from being so focused, opened my mind to the idea that I had choices. I could choose different doctors with different philosophies and receive more intuitive care. The intuitive care lead to resolution, so I would be completely remiss to not credit the mediation at all. Don't you think?

Anyway the point is if meditation could assist me in such times of pain or mistreatment, why was I not utilizing this amazing tool when things were going well? Doesn't it make sense if things are shitty and you want them to be better, meditate? Well, why not meditate when things are going well to create opportunity for something amazing?

Well guess what!!! Things were going well and Keri said she wanted to start meditating 15 minutes a day and I said, Hell yes! Me too. As a result the most amazing things are happening in my life. My car accident that lead me to believe that my little silver bullet was going to be totaled has been restored and returned to me. I am feeling tremendous love and adoration for my wife, not that I wasn't before, it's just going so well, I thought I'd mention it. :) I am feeling a sense of fulfillment in my job as a manager at the dental office that I am truly enjoying my work. My blog is growing and reaching more people, which is leading to my dreams coming true.

I am surrounded by random amazing strangers who really aren't strange at all. Like the Orgonite gifter I wrote about in my Happy Father's Day post and Jonna the amazing shoe sharer from my, It's just the way I see it post. Then there's the amazing dude named Ed that delivers a dose of true connection every time he frequents my office to keep our textiles fresh. We mustn't forget David from the Shimmering Pools of Butter post.

Today I had the pleasure of meeting Isaac. He came by today to repair our garage door. The spring broke, so the opener would not work and he fixed it. Thank you Isaac for the door and the true connection.

I simply can not even tell you all of the big and small amazing things that have been coming up in my life. They are too numerous to mention them all, but let's just say that I have come to believe that meditation is a life changer. It's kinda like this, when you begin meditation and clear your mind of the static and clutter, it creates space for divine wisdom. Guidance. Intuition.

I am grateful for my knowing.

You may not agree, but I think it's nice to share

I don't know about you, but I have been managing my personal grooming for quite a number of years now. It can be tiresome. Clipping finger nails, filing them, plucking eye brows, washing hair, flossing and brushing my teeth, applying lotions and oils to moisturizer my skin, shaving legs, armpits and other places. I must say I really do enjoy the pleasure and relaxation of having someone else tend to my toe nails. Pedicures are a little bit of heaven I have shorted myself on over the years, but no more!!!

I also recently have started sharing the task of personal grooming in the nether regions. Aren't I nice to share? I've been treating myself to getting waxed. I didn't really know what to call it so I looked on-line. The internet is a very amazing thing ya' know? So, I called UrbanWaxx and scheduled what they very nonchalantly call a "Bikini and crack". It was surprisingly not bad at all. There's a tie for my #1 favorite thing about getting waxed. One is how smooth and clean I feel and two is how infrequent I have to tend to business down there.

There is a little bit of maintenance between waxes and I just happened to be doing that very thing just a couple of days ago. Have you ever paid attention to all the peculiar positions you have to contort yourself into to do all this grooming? Have you ever peered in the mirror and looked at yourself while you are plucking your eyebrows? Well I was thinking about this when I was tending to my nether regions and I thought it might be funny to blog about it, but I couldn't decide if I should or not.

Then all of a sudden it became crystal clear. Where did the clarity come from? Well, it just sort of hit me all at once as I was standing there with nothin' between me and god but my smile straddling the toilet and my little scissors slipped right out of my hand and kerplunk! They landed right in that toilet water. I just threw my head back and laughed.

I looked down at that water littered with trimmings and said aloud to myself, This is too funny not to share. As I was retrieving the scissors, I just knew when I told Keri about it she was going to say, I hope you washed those scissors and sure as I live and breathe she said that very thing. Of course I washed the scissors silly, how could you even ask me that question?

Simply the BEST

One morning this last week I was talking to Waffles, our 12 year-old golden retriever puppy, as I was making breakfast. I was telling him all the things I love about him. I always include his sweet brown dramatic eyes and his beautiful blonde eyelashes. I talked to him about his gorgeous white sail of a tail. I told him how much I loved his expressive little eye brows.

I love it when I am having a bad day and I sit down to cry he comes and sits right beside me. Most times he doesn't do anything, he doesn't even look at me, but he just sit there and will BE with me as I cry. He usually he gives me a sweet little sideways look as if to ask me if I'm going to be ok. Sometimes he'll put his paw on my leg. He really is the sweetest dog I have ever known.

I was telling him how I thought he was not just our dog of dogs, but THE DOG of DOGS. I know people who are admittedly not "dog people" and you know what? They LOVE Waffles. His sweetness effortlessly transcends limits set before him.

One of the best things Waffles exemplifies is the philosophy of TRUE. He has no false pretense. He does not care who comes to visit him if someone else has something yummy and he thinks he just might have a chance of getting some yummy in his tummy, he will totally ignore his visitor. He never intends to hurt anyones feelings, he just knows what he wants and he's going to drum up the cutest face he can to get it too.

Waffles you are one of my very best friends and I love the example of living and loving life that you provide to me and everyone that has the tremendous amount of luck to know you. Mommies love you buddy.

Sensitive and Unconventional

I am a very sensitive person and I am also kind of naive. I feel that my naivety is associated with my childlike demeanor. I don't watch the news because it doesn't make me feel good. I don't follow politics for the same reason. I like simple things. I like silence. I like the sound of a single flute. I like blue sky. I like laughing. I like things to be simple and sometimes the way I think and live can come off as insensitive.

Sometimes things I do, because it doesn't bother me one bit can seem insensitive because I am not really thinking about how it affects other people. Here's an example: I was at a conference in Las Vegas last year and you all know how busy restrooms can get at a break during a conference. Well,... the line for the women's restroom was probably 50 people or more long and the line for the men's restroom was non-existent. In my mind a toilet is a toilet right? There were stalls in the men's restroom, so I waltzed right in there and used a stall. No waiting. No muss no fuss.

This was not the first time I had done this, I have done it on many occasions, at a fair, at a concert, in restaurants, really anywhere. It seemed like who cares, I have to pee and clearly I will have to WAIT in this long line or just walk right into this other room and go right now. I never really understood what the big deal was all about. There are stalls in both and if I am going into a stall what difference does it make?

Well, it was brought to my attention that though it may not bother me at all to walk into a men's restroom to share "their" facility, it may make "them" uncomfortable. It never even occurred to me and to any man who I may have ever caused any discomfort in the restroom by walking in and using a private stall, I apologize. It certainly was never my intention to cause anyone to feel uncomfortable. I was simply trying to expedite my own relief.

It does bring to my mind the question though,... why are we so comfortable with some of our body parts and not all of our body parts. I think and this truly is my honest opinion, nudity is not that big of a deal. My dog walks around naked all the time and nobody thinks anything of it. A body is a body. Head, shoulders, knees and toes. Face, breasts, butt and ankles. We love nudity when it comes to babies and their cute little bellies and tushies. Why do we turn to shame as we age?

I don't really know the answer to that question, but I welcome your comments if you have an opinion on the subject of nudity and how shame develops around our bodies as we age. I am comfortable with nudity and I walk around naked in my house everyday.

Love Rush

I think it's a very good thing to remember that we are all human and when we are human we have less than perfect moments in our lives. When you are a mindful person and choose to be selective about the people you surround yourself with you can know with certainty that when someone in your inner circle is having an off day that everything is going to be alright because you know their heart.

When you know someone's heart and they know yours, there is room for trust. When you have trust there is room for love inspite of less than perfect moments. It feels so good when love rushes in.

You know you've got the good stuff when love rushes in.

Emotionally attached to the 70's? Me? Yes! I think so.

Keri and I watched Saturday Night Fever last night. I LOVE that music!!! The movie has some pretty sad ideas in it, but you kinda have to paint a sad picture sometimes to create a feeling of hope and provide a sense that Tony Manero will over come his dismal life experience as a paint store clerk and weekend disco dancer. He does eventually become a fantastic broadway dancer, but you don't even realize this is going to happen unless you also watch the sequel, Staying Alive.

The reason I love the disco music of that movie so much is because it reminds me of my youth. I remember going to the movie theater with my mom in 1977 and watching the dances in that movie and fantasizing that I could have a dance partner like Stephanie. Unlike most girls who, I imagine, were probably fantasizing about Tony. (Did you watch the link connected to Stephanie? It's pretty dreamy)

I can remember my mom playing the record in our apartment and I would practice walking like Tony Manero during the intro of the movie when he's got that big'ol grin on his face and he's strutting the streets of Brooklyn. My mom was really diggin' it. I can still hear her saying, "You're stuttin' just like Tony!". It seemed to me that she was squealing with delight and in my little 7 year old mind, as I was struttin' and being egged on by my mom I was thinking, "I could get a girlfriend like Stephanie. Look at me strut!" Can't you just imagine a little 7 year old Angel struttin' around with a big'ol smile on her face?

Now imagine me at 44, struttin' my stuff because I got myself that girlfriend and made her my wife. I get a big'ol smile on my face every time I hear, Ain't No Woman Like the One I Got by The Four Tops from 1978. That little 7 year old's dream has a life and I am living it!! Dreams do come true.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="720"] Strut![/caption]

Objections VS Opportunities

I'd like to share a lesson I learned recently that I think is very valuable and can be used in many circumstances in life, personally and professionally. This lesson helps me tremendously because I used to do whatever I could to avoid what I perceived as a conflict, even after I'd taken a communications class several years ago and was taught that conflict is not a bad thing. It wasn't until recently I was able to come to terms with this concept.

Perhaps it was a slight tweak in the verbage, perhaps it simply was the right time for me to learn this lesson, but here it is in all it's awesomeness. There are no objections, only opportunities for clarification. It feels so amazing to have this slightly shifted perception of objections/conflicts. It really used to be paralyzing for me to encounter a situation that had even the slightest bit of conflict or even perceived conflict about it.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="720"] Frozen by fear[/caption]

I would feel a tightness in my chest and my stomach would begin to hurt and I would freeze up and shut down. I would, literally, go silent or maybe stammer and stumble over my words. I am not exactly sure how this shift came about, but I don't even care how it came about. I am just so grateful.

I am happy and confident in my knowing. What am I knowing? I am knowing that I am a good person. I am well intended. I am not perfect and I make mistakes, but I know that I am always doing the best that I can at any given moment. My best will vary from day-to-day as circumstances in my life change, but never the less, I KNOW I am doing my best and if there is any question, objection or conflict I will approach the situation and clarify with confidence because I know like I know like I know that I am always doing my best.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="720"] Confidently clarifying[/caption]

Momma's Dream

I watched a video on YouTube today of my son playing guitar and singing What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong. It is so amazing to see him following his heart. I was moved to tears as I watched him strum his guitar and sing about the wonders of life. Even though they were not his original words, a momma knows when her baby is feeling what he is singing. It brings me such a warm lovey feeling to see him flourishing. I am so happy for you Garrison.

This feeling I have for Garrison is such a wonderful feeling for me for two reasons: 1. Because a momma loves to see her baby living their passion. (I am a momma). 2. Because a momma loves to see her baby living their passion. (I have a momma).

It is an amazing feeling to feel the way I feel about my baby and to know my momma feels that way about me. You are right Garrison, it is a wonderful world.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="720"] That's my boy.[/caption]

Inspired message? That's for you to decide for you.

If it is true that words don't teach and I believe it is, otherwise, there would never ever again be any burned fingers on hot stoves,...right? So, If it is true that words don't teach, then why do I spend so much of my time stringing words together into blogs and conversations about how we all have a choice? Honestly? I think the reason is because it is a form of practice. If you think I have it all together and I just know and live all this stuff I write about all the time, well I hate to burst your bubble, but I am just out here doing my best. My best varies from day-to-day depending on a myriad of variables, but I just keep practicing positive thoughts to create positive feelings to create positive results. I just keep on practicing.

I don't believe in practice makes perfect, because I believe perfection already exists in all of us. I believe we have been taught to focus on our faults, so that we may focus on how to make improvements in ourselves. When the real truth is that we are perfect just the way we are and if we would make a choice to focus on that aspect of ourselves we would live happy fulfilling lives and ignite desire in others to focus on the best of themselves as well. Imagine how wonderful the world would be if we all simultaneously decided to commit to focusing on the best of ourselves.

Well, the truth of the matter is we only have control over one person offering the best of themselves and that person looks at you in the mirror every time you check a mirror. I looked at myself in the mirror today and I said these words to myself, I vow to you (and I pointed to myself) to offer the best of myself to you (and I pointed to myself again) today.

Words don't teach. Feelings and experience teach. So, if you are feeling inspired to experience the best of yourself today, make a vow and practice living your vow to yourself. If you don't like it, you can stop, but if you do like the way you feel when you are offering your best, keep it up.

You're an amazing person and you deserve the best. Yes, I'm talking to you (I just pointed to myself again).

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="720"] You lookin' at me?[/caption]

See? I Surprise People,...

Keri and I decided during our beach stay this last weekend that we would take a break from our lazy ways and walk into town from our beach front rental. The jaunt from the house to the town took us ALL of 10 minutes. We decided to make the most of our trek into town, so we ordered lunch to go and while we waited for it to be prepared we walked visited a few places in town. We went to the Yachats Mercantile store, The Yachats Video Rental/Organic produce store and the Underground Pub. We passed the candy/ice cream store and decided we would drive back later in the day to pick up some vanilla ice cream for Waffles.

The Mercantile Store's FB page reads, "If you need it, we probably have it". They have all kinds of things and I saw a pocket saw I thought was really cool. I don't really have a reason to have a pocket saw as I discussed with Keri, but for some reason I really like all that outdoorsy stuff. There was a cool axe with a pull out saw in the handle of the axe. I could go on and on about the variety of things they had there but that isn't the point of this story, so I will leave that for another time.

The Video rental/Organic produce store was an interesting mix of product. They had all kinds of salt, asian herbs, teas and an unusual selection of produce plus a whole bunch of VHS videos to rent. Interesting coupling. They seemed to be doing ok.

Then we headed over to the Underground Pub for a beer while we waited for our food. In all honesty, our food was probably already ready, but we walked all that way so we wanted to make the most of our trek. We sat outside facing the ocean and the sun was shinning in all its glory. It was a beautiful day.

Another couple joined our outside seating area and they had an adorable dog. She was a pit mix and very sweet. I wanted to love on her and pet her so bad. I told Keri, I'm going to ask if I can pet her. She said, "I'm sure they'll let you". So, I stood up and approached the man and woman. I maintained eye contact with the man because it seemed he was primarily caring for the dog. I asked, "Do you mind if I pet her?" He indicated it would be fine, so I reached across the table and I stroked his wife's hair two or three times.

They busted out laughing. I have to admit, it was pretty funny. I did pet their dog, Tika, and she was very sweet. I returned to our table after a bit of petting and finished my beer and visiting with Keri. As we were leaving Keri stopped at their table to pet Tika, but before she did she told them, "When she came back to our table she told me you wouldn't mind if I pet her,... either one, and gestured toward his dog and his wife.They laughed again and told us we made their day. They were a great couple with a very sweet dog.

Remembering this story is what helped me realize that I am an interesting person and I surprise people quite often. Fortunately, Keri is very used to me behaving in this manner. It has taken some "getting used to", but she loves me just the way I am.

Sassy Believes!!!

A belief is just a thought you keep thinking. Believe it into existence.

Keep Them Guessing

This last weekend we took a trip to the beach and one evening we were totally surprised by what we observed. We were enjoying the view of the sunset from our beach rental and right in front of our bay windows we watched a white SUV park in the look out area provided in front of our rental.

It was a Cadillac and very nice. We watched as the driver got out of the car. She was an older woman and once she got out of the vehicle we watched her reach back into the car for something. As we watched her step back from the vehicle, I wondered if she was by herself or if there would be others piling out of the SUV.

It turned out that she was alone. She stood in the grassy area next to her Cadillac and watched the ocean waves come and go for a little bit and then to our surprise she whipped out a bottle of bubbles. We watched as she dipped the wand into the soapy water and slowly raised her arm so the wand would reach her lips. The little wand shook just a bit as she held it in front of her lips, then she let out a deep exhalation. She set free several bubbles from the wand. She did this repeatedly.

I told Keri she should take her picture and Keri said, "You do it." So, I hustled over to my flip-flops with my iPhone in hand and at the edge of the drive way I stood balancing my camera/iPhone propped up on a fence post and snapped her picture several times. I seemed as though she noticed me because she turned my way and blew bubbles in my direction. I hollered across the street to her, "I love it!!!". She didn't respond verbally she just kept blowing her bubbles.

I went back inside and watched her blow a few more bubbles and then as if it were nothing at all she just got back in her car and drove off. It was interesting. It created a little stir in me. It made me want to be an interesting person that surprises people and then I remembered something I did over the weekend. I realized I already am an interesting person that surprises people. I'll share that story in another blog.

It's the Apozitude Challenge!!!

According to my news feed on Facebook a fairly good number of folks have accepted and participated in the Ice-bucket challenge to raise awareness for ALS, also known as, Lou Gehrig's disease and I can not deny that it has been successful. Honestly, I didn't know what ALS was the first time I saw an Ice-bucket challenge video posted to FB, so in that regard I have to agree that it has been undeniably successful. I also agree that raising awareness is a big part of what Apozitude is ALL about. The passion behind Apozitude is awareness. It is my passionate intention as the author of Apozitude to raise the awareness in the individual. An awareness that you as an individual have absolute control over your life.

If you are reading this and you are doubting your ability to have control over your life then it is I, Angel Zaumdio, that challenges you to the Apozitude challenge. I came up with this idea as I was soaking myself in a hot bath of eucalyptus and spearmint epsom salt. I had just watched a documentary entitled Stress: Portrait of a Killer on Netflix. Amazing research and documentary by Robert Sapolsky. A must see in my book.

Anyway, after watching this documentary about how stress is a killer, I decided this was the perfect time to take the epsom salt soak I had been planning. I stepped into the hot salty water and turned on my well-being meditation. I laid there in the water breathing in and breathing out as the meditation guided me to allow alignment and releasing resistance. I could feel the stress dissolving from my body and the cells of my body returning to their natural state of balance. Once I was guided to listen to the music and let it guide me to a deeper realm of relaxation, I decided to sink deeper into the water as well.

I sunk down to the point where my ears were under water and I could hear the beating of my heart echoing through the water and in the muffled distance I could also still hear the music of my meditation. I decided I would test the theory that deep intentional breathing could help relieve stress. As I listened to the rhythm of my heart, I deliberately slowed my breathing even more and I could actually hear the pace of my heart begin to slow. All of a sudden the Ice-bucket challenge popped into my mind. I thought what a drastically different effect that water would have on me than the current water I was relaxing in and that is when it occurred to me that I could create a challenge of my own for my readers.

So, how long did it take you or someone you know to get the water and ice bucket together? Add to that the time it took to find someone to record the Ice-Bucket challenge video. Now add the amount of time it took to record the video and change out of the soaking wet clothes. Plus the amount of time it took to post it to FB. How much time do you think all of that took? Let's just guess for the sake of this blog that it took just about 15 minutes. It was probably more, but let's just say 15 - 20 minutes. Just one more thing though ,... take into consideration how this made you feel. How you felt when you watched your friends video and then heard your name in the list of people they challenged. How accepting the challenge made you feel. How being recorded made you feel. How that ice water made you feel. Think about all those things.

Now! Think about the Apozitude Challenge. Oh yeah, I haven't challenged you yet. Ok, I challenge YOU to take less than the amount of time it took you or your friend to do all that stuff for the Ice-bucket thingy and dedicate 15 minutes to yourself. No distractions, simply undivided attention for 15 minutes to your breathing. I challenge you to put yourself first for 15 minutes and prove to yourself that you can have a deliberate affect on your level of stress by slowing down long enough to reduce your heart rate and focus on a sense of peace. Really focus on how that sense of peace feels in your body and know that anytime you want to you can deliberately reconnect to that sense of peace even if for just a moment here and there throughout your day.

You are an amazing person. Take time and spend it with yourself and bless the world with the best of yourself. The payback is wonderful.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="480"] I kinda look intense, but I was really relaxed. :)[/caption]