I'll share with you The Angel and Spider Agreeement: I know spiders are everywhere. I know I am never more than three feet away from a spider, or one of their family members. I allow spiders to be in my house, because let's be honest, do I really have a choice in the matter? Nope. Ok, so I accept that you spiders and your posse are in my house, and I agree to mostly to do my best to safely remove you from my house via the jar and book method, but if one of you little bastards is in my bedroom the agreement is OFF, and I will tell you why.
Let's say for instance I'm coming at you with the jar and book method,... Maybe I should explain the jar and book,... #1 there is always a spider #2 there is always a jar #3 not always is there a need for a book, sometimes you need something else like a manilla enevelope, and here's why: If said spider is on the wall, capture him with the jar and you could use a cup but a jar is better because then you can see your intuder. Being able to see the spider helps when you get to the envelope portion of this task. Gently slide the envelope between the glass and the wall, being very careful not to left the jar too much because you don't want him to escape, but also you have to lift it enough to allow the enelope to get in between the jar and the wall. Also you have to be careful not to pull one of the spiders legs off which can happen if you accidently pinch his leg between the enevolpe and the rim of the jar. When you use a glass jar you can see him run away from the envelope and usually he runs up into the jar. Why are spiders always boys in my mind? I don't know. Anyway, if the spider is in a web away from a wall this is when you use the book. See? Genius!
So, back to why the agreement is off in my bedroom, BECAUSE what if something happens and I miss or I trip and drop the whole deal, then the spider is free in my bedroom where I SLEEP. I don't want some pissed off spider crawling in my mouth or in my ear while I'm sleeping. I know its not rational. I never said here's my completly rational agreement with spiders. I'm simply acknowledging that I do, in fact, have an agreement with the spiders.
One of these little guys was perched in his little web this morning between the rail of the stairs and the wall of the entry way. Keri alerted me of his presents. (Btw, Keri and I have an agreement about spiders too. The agreement is that I deal with them. The other part is, she deals with shower drain and most importantly the disgusting clump of hair that gets stuck in there, even more now that my hair is longer. Just the thought of all that wet hair in the drain makes me gag a little. Thank you Keri.)
So, I go over to the rail to lay out my plan for today's spider removal project. This was definetly a case for the jar and book method. So, I slid the book on the inside of the web and slowly positioned my jar on the other side of the web with the spider lined up to be captured between the book and the jar. YES!!! I have success.
I call out to Keri to open the front door and here comes the tricky part, releasing the spider. This process usually involves a squeal and a high knees run back into the house. This particular day I lifted the jar and shook the book to release the spider and because I captured him on his web he went into survival mode and swung from his web that was attached to the book like Spider-Man, which resulted in me freaking out a little and I dropped the book.
I'm sorry Mr. Spider I tried to get you out alive.
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