Tickle Fight Safe Words

When I was a little girl, I loved to play the tickle game with my daddy. He would tickle me as much and more than I wanted. You know how when you're being tickled and you're having so much fun, laughing and wrestling around and then you playfully start begging for them to stop, but it goes on for a little while longer. Then you can't breathe and it gets to be more serious. Well, we had rules for just such an occasion. I would breathlessly yell at him to stop it as I was laughing my little guts out. He would ask, "Stomp it?" and continue to tickle me and as I was gasping for air, I'd holler, "No! Daddy!!! STOP!!!".

The other rule was whenever I said, "above the line", he was supposed to only tickle me above my belly button, because I was SO terribly ticklish on my legs and feet that I couldn't handle it below the line. So, in theory he was supposed to tickle my ribs or neck. When I was laughing so hard that I couldn't breath, I would yell, "Above the line" and he would keep tickling me and jokingly ask, "Buff the Lion?". I LOVED it and it really pissed me off at the same time.

I still love tickle fights. Keri and I have tickle fights sometimes and she ALWAYS wins. She is a little longer limbed than me and this adds leverage to her advantage. The differences between tickling with Keri and my Dad are many, but the main things to me are that my Dad was way bigger than me, MUCH stronger and Keri is more respectful of my demands for air.

I do miss my Dad sometimes and I'm glad to have fun memories with him, but my tickle fights with him are a mixed bag of feelings. Tickle fights with Keri over the years taught me a great deal about respect. Garrison and I used to have tickle fights too and I admit that I tickled him longer that he wanted me to at times. It wasn't until I had tickle fights with Keri that I was able to establish a rule with Garrison during our tickle fights that actually worked.

We agreed that part of the fun was to yell, "Stop it!" as someone was tickling you, but when you REALLY wanted them to stop the ultimate STOP phrase was, "Respect my wishes". These words carried over into other areas of our lives and it's really amazing how these three little words ended up being so empowering, not only to Garrison, but to myself as well.

When phrased is such a way, how could you do anything but respect someone's wishes? This is not to be confused with the fact that I always did what Garrison wanted, because I certainly did not. However, it did frame our relationship with respect and I did always attempt to be respectful of his feelings. Respect is a very valuable quality to have in any relationship. I think it's overlooked sometimes in reference to children because we as adults think we know what is best for them, but what could be better for them than respecting their wishes whenever possible and being a living example of a quality we hope they carry forward into all of their relationships. Especially the relationship we're developing with them this very moment.