Peanut-butter Whiskers

It was a beautiful day and we decided it was the perfect sunshine day to expose Marble to the busy sights and sounds of Waterfront Park. He had his second round of puppy shots yesterday and as long as we kept him from eating poo our vet assured us that the mostly concrete Waterfront park would be a great place to expand his experiences. We thought it would also be a great way to get him good and tired before his Wonder Puppy little tikes WoGo play group.

Taken right from the Wonder Puppy website: WoGo classes combine controlled playtime with relaxation and essential socialization exercises. There is an emphasis on parent education that teaches you how to read body language and what to do if your puppy becomes nervous or overly-excited in situations. First-time attendees receive a free socialization assessment and will be given a copy to take home.

Marbles was fast asleep in his back seat puppy haven of the car when we arrived, but he perked right up once we got inside. He played with all four paws on the floor except when he didn't and then we redirected him. He did well when we rounded him up, which is what they say when ending a play time, so the puppy's energy is regulated and doesn't get too amped up.

Once the hour play/training session was over we gave Marbles a peanut-butter bone we prepared in advance to keep his attention directed away from the other puppies so he could calm down. He laid on the floor with hyper focus on that peanut-butter. When we were dismissed he stood up and headed for the door. As we were walking outside I noticed he had evidence of that yummy treat all over his face. It was the cutest thing. I said, "Ok, peanut-butter whiskers let's get in the car". It was a great day.

Twisted Knickers

Sometimes when I read a general post on FB that feels insensitive to me personally, I do my very best to ignore it. Simply for the fact that I am vey selfish about the way that I feel. I am NOT willing to sacrifice my feelings of well being long enough to write an opposing comment. I'm not going to do that.

FB is a huge public forum and everyone is allowed to post their own thoughts and feelings or repost thoughts and feelings of others in which they identify. Not everyone feels the same way about everything. I know! Don't freak out, but it's true.

My advice, don't take shit so seriously. It's not a personal attack, so don't get your knickers in a twist. Unless, of course, you are being personally attacked. In that case, just remember, opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one, and get on with your day.

Hoping for a Break Through Today

Have you ever noticed that sometimes when someone very close to you, who undoubtedly loves you very much is giving you advice, somehow, it's often overlooked. It's like you can hear them talking, and you're shaking your head yes, as if you are agreeing, but you're not really listening. It's not intentional really, because you do really want resolution. But it's just not sinking in. I'm not sure why this happens, but what I do know is that it's true.

I know it's true because I have observed it in my own life with my wife and my son. Even in myself! I've been frustrated in the past with something and was trying to work it out. Talking over the details with Keri and she, of course, overs solutions, but for some reason I remained in that stuck place.

Then, I'd hear someone else say just about the same thing and all of a sudden it just clicked. It may be the exact same thing that Keri had been saying, but just a slightly different inflection on a certain word or slight rephrasing by some one else, turns that stuck place into an "A-HA! moment".

Usually what happens next is I come home all happy to report my new found clarity and I'm just chatting away about how it occurred and she'll say, "That's what I've been trying to tell you". It's happened to both of us and it's happened with Garrison too. I am just so glad that we're able to be happy for each other once clarity arrives and we don't get wrapped up in our egos.

I really don't care how you get to a clear, true, knowing moment in your life. I'm simply pleased for the clarity. The truth is we're all connected and contributing members of each others lives. Perhaps hearing the same advice from a loved one over and over is preparing us for actually hearing it from someone else. There is the fact that it takes multiple times of hearing something before it sinks in.

Why am I writing about this today? Well, to be honest, it's because my hope and my desire is that today just might be the day that someone is reading this and is actually hearing something slightly different than they've been hearing it in the past. Perhaps today is the day that something clicks.

So here ya' go. The connection that you've been looking for is not in a whiskey bottle or a personal ad. The connection you seek is not in that all elusive relationship you've been so tirelessly chasing. The connection you're after is much closer than you might think and as long as you continue to look outside yourself, you'll continue to find yourself coming up empty handed.

Sure alcohol, sex, a relationship and many other things can distract you from the feeling of being disconnected, but when the bottle is empty, your lover is gone and your relationship ends that feeling of disconnection will still be sitting there, right in the middle of your heart waiting for you. Yes, waiting for you to wake up and realize the connection you are looking for is not somewhere outside of you, but right there within yourself.

All distraction methods are actually working against you and keeping you distracted from getting to know the real you. It's a grim depiction, I understand, but it's the truth about how it feels to be disconnected. Yes, distraction methods are easier because they help to disassociate from pain and feelings of loneliness, but they will never provide the satisfaction you will find in facing those tough feelings and working through to a place of healing and self love.

You are worthy of the time and effort it takes to feel the satisfaction of self love and self acceptance.

Puppy Parenting 101

Welcome to puppy patenting! Where the nights are short and the days are long. The food is over cooked and often a little bit cold.

Puppy parenting, where your Friday night date is a Wonder Puppy play date and your pockets are littered with stinky puppy treat crumbs.

Puppy parenting, where the main topic of conversation is the color, consistency and frequency of his poop.

Welcome to puppy parenting, where you get stopped every 3 -5 feet on a walk because he is so unbelievably adorable and where you discover it's all worth it because of the unconditional love you'll receive every single day for the rest of his life.

Stress! Who Wants It???

What an amazing realization!!! It feels so amazing to learn and grow!!! Do you know that stress can be a VERY good thing? Yes!!! It can. Check it out,...

You're be-bopping along through your day and all of a sudden you find yourself in a situation that makes you feel anxious because you feel you are unequipped to handle that situation. You feel the tension in your shoulders, you can feel things going on in your body stirring and prepping you to get the hell out!!! But wait!!!

You stop for a minute and take a deep breath, say to yourself, "This situation is uncomfortable for me. Why? because I don't know how to handle it". What does that really mean? Does it mean you truly are inept?

No! It doesn't,... unless you believe that you are in fact inept. However, if you believe that you can learn and grow this stress feeling is a signal to you that you are currently in an amazing position of opportunity.

Amazing opportunity? Are you crazy? Who really feels like a stressful situation is an amazing opportunity. Uhhh,... ME!!! That's who.

When you feel stress you have an opportunity to turn tail and run the other direction OR you can take that stress and allow it to fuel your desire to grow and change. You can overcome that particular stress by learning new skills.

When you learn new skills and overcome stressful situations you become more confident, you feel more freedom. The feeling of freedom allows you to follow your dreams, live your passion and inspire others.

Department Heads Agree

Life is like a raft. If you intend to get anywhere you need a certain amount of balance.

My raft is a shared raft and is usually pretty balanced. Keri and I have agreements that keep us balanced for the most part. I'll oar and she will rest and vice versa or we'll oar together if we want to get somewhere quicker.

We've been at this shared raft business for awhile now and we pretty much know what to expect from each other. We hit some rapids every now and then, but we've managed to stay afloat and continue to oar in the same direction. It's true that we've made a few course corrections along the way, but being flexible is a big part of the balance.

We know that Keri is the head of the research department and I am the head of the experiment department. It's good that we know these things about each other because it helps us to understand how and why the other one operates the way that they do.

Recently, as you probably know, we brought aboard a new member of our shared raft. This adorable little fur ball, named Marbles, has disrupted our balance just a bit. We are acclimating rather well, all three of us.

However, the sleep deprivation has added an extra challenge. Lack of sleep causes the experiment department to be less receptive to guidance from the research department. Luckily, these two departments have worked well with each other for quite some time and are aware of what's intended.

Both departments have agreed to be more sensitive and more receptive. Research shows that well planned experiments generally end with positive results. We intend for our shared raft to continue on the course we have set out without too much detour given the added adorable member.

Turns Out, Misunderstood is Not So Bad

Do you know that song, Leader of the Band, by Dan Fogelberg? I love that song. It always reminds me of a time when I was younger. I was in middle school and my favorite teacher was, Mrs. Kellert. She taught one of my all time favorite classes. Any guesses as to what that class might have been? I heard some guesses. Yes, I did really enjoy my art classes, but that's not the one I'm thinking. Oh, yes, I loved P.E. too, but ,Leader of the Band, reminds me of my creative writing class.

One of the reasons I loved that class was because some of our homework was to keep a journal, which by the way I was already doing on my own. I also really loved it because Mrs. Kellert would often write back in the journal. It was like having a journal that gave advise on all the things I wrote about. I loved it!! It felt like Mrs. Kellert and I were connected and that she understood me. I felt special in her class.

Another reason I loved that class so much was because it was a class that was easy for me. Most of the classes at that time in my life, I was pulling a C or a D, even a F in some classes. So, to have a class I enjoyed AND was making an A in was all good.

Until one assignment came along. I don't even remember what the objective of the assignment was, but we were to choose a song and write about it. I picked Leader of the Band. I wrote out what I thought Mrs. Kellert wanted and I felt like I had an ace in the bag.

With a great big smile on my face I reached out to receive my homework paper back and to my surprise I did not ace that homework assignment. A little red frowny face was drawn on my homework with a little red "F" and the comment that haunts my brain to this day, "I don't think you understood the assignment".

Oh man! I was crushed. I thought she understood me. I thought we were connected. I thought I understood the assignment perfectly. This "F" clearly indicated on this particular assignment, that was not the case. I was truly bummed out.

I must have gotten over it, because I remember being in contact with Mrs. Kellert even after high school. I don't remember what my final grade was in that class, but I do remember how Mrs. Kellert made me feel special.

It just goes to show that saying is true, People may not remember what you do, but they will always remember how you made them feel. Thank you, Mrs. Kellert, where ever you are. You'd be proud, I'm still writing.

Mind Yo' Damn Business!!!

Why is the traffic backed up for miles? Oh, I see. There's a police car with it's lights on and someone has been pulled over. I really do not understand why everyone has to slow down and rubber neck this situation.

Maybe it's a matter of principal for me, but I purposely keep my eyes focused forward when passing police activity on the highway. I can't do anything about what other people choose to do, but I have modicum of decorum in this particular area.

Eyes on the road! Let's get this traffic moving.

Oh, Please Don't Ask Me What I Think You're Going to Ask

There are times in life when you are faced with a situation that creates a reaction in you similar to that of a puppy hearing a strange new noise for the first time, such as a train whistle. You stop in your tracks and pause. Tilting your head one way and then the next, as if a different position of your head could ACTUALLY create a different perspective. Sometimes, you can glean a bit of clarity in that pause and other times you just can't quite make sense of it, so you just have to laugh.

One situation in which I was able create a bit of clarity involved my dad many years ago. I was probably about 26 years old and had recently called my dad to talk about my relationship with Keri and being gay.

Actually, to be clear, I think in this particular situation my dad was the puppy,... well at first anyway. We chatted for a bit and the conversation veered in another direction and then all of a sudden he says, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure Dad. What is it?"

"Which one of you is the boy?" Here's where I turn into the puppy, tilting my head one way and then the next, kinda dumbfounded, "Huh? Wha'? Which one of us is the boy? We're both girls Dad. That's what makes us gay".

He began to clarify, "No, I mean,...". I squinted my eyes closed tight in hopes he wasn't about to ask something I didn't really want to answer, "which one of you,... well, I mean which one of you changes the oil?" Whew!!! With a sigh of relief and a smile on my face I replied, "Neither one of us changes the oil. We take our cars to a mechanic."

"Well, which one of you does the laundry?"

"We do the laundry together." Well, we did back then because we went to the laundry mat. Honestly, Keri does most of the laundry. I do help, sometimes. I put my dirty clothes in the hamper, most of the time (embarrassed grin) and I fold.

My dad says, "You know what I mean" and in an effort to dissolve a bit of his preconceived notions about gay people and get him talking about what he believed, I replied, "No, Dad. I don't know what you mean." I still don't know if he had a more specific question that we never covered and honestly I am glad the conversation never took "that" turn.

We continued our conversation in a very civil manner and he did reveal to me that he was grateful. When I asked why, he said, "If God wants me to have a child that's gay, I can accept that, but I have to be honest. I am grateful that the child he chose was my daughter and not my son."

Reflecting on that comment now, it seems sexist, but at the time it felt like an honest admission of a loving father who knew his perspective was in need of some broadening. In my entire relationship with my Dad, this conversation included, I never once felt an ounce of judgement or disappointment from him in me as a person. For that, I am grateful.

Our relationship was far from perfect, but I always knew without a doubt that he loved me just as I am. He was a very sweet man. He cried, tears of joy, every single time he told me about the day I was born.

And the Twirling Stops

Well, I gave it my best shot. I tried for 18 months to let my hair grow long. It was frustrating as hell, and not just for me. Ask my wife. It did get pretty long, well pretty long for me. It was taking too much time and energy to style it in the morning and maintain all day. I just got tired of messing with it.

I tried cutting just a couple inches off the back to see if being off my neck would help and it did. A little bit, but it not nearly enough. It was just long enough to blow in my face and not long enough to pull back. Getting the puppy was the clincher. Up in the middle of the night for potty breaks, with no glasses in the dark and the wind was blowing my hair all in my face. I couldn't see if he pooped or not. Did he step in it? Where is it??? OMG, THIS HAIR!!!! The sleep depravation did not help.

THAT'S IT!!!

Life is too short to be this pissed off at my stupid hair! Whew!!! Now,... my hair is too short to be pissed off at all. So nice. So easy. Big huge sigh of relief. I feel like me again.

I am really glad I went through the process of growing out my hair because when I decided to embark on that journey, I thought longer hair would help me feel more girlie. It did in fact take me to a more girlie feeling place in my life.

I felt more expressive, more animated and a little more flirty. It was as if the longer hair and all the business of having longer hair tapped me into a part of myself that had been laying dormant somewhere inside me.

The head flips to get hair out of my face, arms in the air messing with my hair, whether drying, brushing, adding product or twirling. OH MY GOD the twirling!!! Purchasing all those barrettes, pins and scarves were all part of a magical set of keys that unlocked the girlie side of me.

A funny thing I've realized through this process is, the way I FELT before with short hair and dressing androgynously didn't really match at all how I was perceived. Since I've been dipping my toe in the "GIRL WATER" and have been vocal about my process, I have heard from numerous people that they never thought or perceived me as a butch person. I've been told I couldn't be butch if I tried.

Since I've cut my hair, I've had soooo many people tell me that short hair really suits me. Which suits me just fine because it's far less burdensome for me. I feel free. I feel like the pretty little butterfly that I am. Looking back on the process, growing out my hair felt like I was incasing myself in a long haired cocoon. I swear it was because of all that damned twirling and cutting my hair short feels like I've broken free. I've said it before and I'll say it again, You can't tether a butterfly. :)

The cool part is I don't feel they way I used to feel with my hair short again. I still feel expressive, animated and flirty. I feel a confidence within myself that I didn't feel before. So, it seems to me, the confidence was not in the longer hair it was in me, deep within me. I just had to dig it up and now that I've got all that extra time in the morning I can start playing with make-up. YAY!!!

I'm sure Keri is very excited.

Clarity

We all need little eye openers every now and again.

We can commit to a path of doing what we feel is best for ourselves and then one day something gets thrown in the mix and messes up our stride. We may begin to spin out of control a bit and then an eye opener reminds us we can set ourselves back on track.

Loving My Corny Life

There are times in life when we are are not at our most comfortable, most of the time it's because we are in a new situation and we're not accustomed to dealing with the circumstances of that new situation.

Recently, I met a young man who was in this very situation. Jason, my all time favorite rep, brought this young man, Oscar, to my office. Jason introduced Oscar as a young man he has known since Oscar was 15. He is now 22 and they met at a convention of some sort where young people go to meet business people. Honestly, I've forgotten the details regarding the convention, but what I do remember is that Oscar wrote letters to everyone he met there and Jason was the only person to respond to 15 year old Oscar's letter.

Jason has taken Oscar under his wing and has been coaching him on how to meet people in a professional setting and how to get lunch meetings set up. I was delighted to have been chosen as a trusted person to help with this process.

I could tell Oscar was a little nervous, but I thought he did well chatting with a new person in an unfamiliar place. It was a practice run. While we were talking Jason stepped away for a moment. As Oscar and I continued chatting, he began telling me about the things that he forgot. He explained he has a hard time remembering things when he gets nervous. "I can't remember anything", he said.

I told him I completely understood that nervous feeling and freezing up. My freeze up occurs when math of some sort is introduced into the situation, however I didn't believe that he couldn't remember anything. I told him there's a great deal of stuff going on when people meet for the first time, not only are you nervous, the person you're meeting could be too, so don't be hard on yourself if you don't remember their name or fine details that have already been discussed.

I feel like it's a big relief to people when you're honest with them and say something like, "I'm sorry, can you remind me of your name". Almost every time I say something like that to someone they follow up with something similar like, "Oh, I forgot your name too".

Be easy on yourself and talk to yourself in a positive manner. Begin telling yourself that you can remember things. Imagine yourself the way you would like to be and begin talking yourself into becoming that dream version of yourself. I guarantee in most situations that positive self talk is going to help you feel better. I understand it may feel a little awkward at first, praising yourself and talking yourself up, but the more "up" you feel, the better you will get at talking yourself up and the better you will feel.

If you don't believe in you, who will?

Who me? A life coach? Yes, I am. Just saying that gives me cold chills (coachills) lol I love my corny life.

Let it Start with You

Recently, I joined a "Pay It Forward" initiative on FB, in which I invited five people to participate with me. The point of the initiative is to focus on bringing kindness forth into the world. A focus I am truly in support of on a daily basis.

The way the pay it forward works is, you invite five people to agree that they are in, by commenting, "I'm in". Once they agree then you collect their mailing address and let them know that in the next year when something particular strikes and inspires you to think of them you will send them a surprise. It may be a book, something homemade or even a post card, but it will be unannounced and unplanned. When they agree to be "in" then they pay it forward also, by inviting five other people to participate.

One of the people that commented, "I'm in" was especially please about getting to participate in the initiative. She was very excited to have something to look forward to, something to anticipate. I taught her how to copy and paste via IM on FB and she was delighted to be expanding the kindness by inviting people of her own to participate.

This little initiative kinda brought to the forefront of my mind that it is important to have something to look forward to and the very best way to have something to look forward to is to make it something that is reliable.

By reliable, I mean a guaranteed success. We can't always depend on the kindness of others, although we are participating in a "Pay it Forward" initiative to expand kindness in the world, sometimes people can feel very isolated and lose sight of the smallest things in life that provide us with that much needed anticipation.

The greatest gift of all is the love we provide ourselves. We can show love to ourselves by creating kindness for ourselves in our everyday lives. I look forward with great anticipation to my Epsom salt soaks. I love caring for my skin by applying warm coconut oil to my skin after every shower or bath. I love to be creative and I look forward to spending time on my drawing app. I like to send a text to my wife every now and then, "I am looking forward to seeing you this evening".

Life is full of little things that show kindness to ourselves and when we recognize and acknowledge the kindness we provide for ourselves, it naturally creates more energy for us to provide kindness to others.

Dora Delivers

The other day when I was at work, I had a gentle little reminder. I was busy working on something at my desk that required a bit of concentration on my part because it had to do with columns of numbers.

Numbers are kinda like a foreign language to me, in that I can mange to do the simple stuff. I can remember single words and say them in the form of a question. Cerveza? Baño? I can add and subtract fairly easily, but lots of numbers and multiple problems take way more concentration.

Anyway, I was in the middle of this math problem project and the phone rang. I said aloud, "Who's calling me? Don't you know I am doing something?" I turned away from the math and reached for the phone, "Thank you for calling the dental office. This is Angel. How can I help you?" There was a quiet little pause and some background noise like someone was calling from their car. "This is Angel, can you hear me?" and then I hear this sweet little voice say, "Goo'morning Auntie Angel".

OH MY GOODNESS!! "Is this Lexi and Taylor?". Sweet little voices reply, not quite in unison, "yes", accompanied with some giggles. You should have seen the big'ol smile on my face. I lit up like warm rays of sunshine on a sunny afternoon.

"What are you girls up to this morning?" Lexi's sweet little voice says, "We are reading books in the car."

"You are? What are you reading?"

"I am reading Dora and Taylor is reading,..." I can't remember what Taylor was reading because I got all excited to talk to Lexi about her Dora book. You see, she just had her 4th birthday on December 20th and her mom had told me how she got Lexi a Dora the Explorer book and sneaked the book on the front porch.

Once the book was placed, Shanna said aloud so the girls could hear her, "What's that? I just heard a pitter patter on the front porch. Did you hear that? We should check it out". The girls came a runnin' and they opened the door. What did they find? Yup, that's right! The Dora book was right there on the porch.

As Lexi was looking at it all amazed, Shanna said, "Oh! Lexi! I just saw Dora go around the corner. Did you see her? Oh you just missed her. Oh my goodness Lexi, Dora brought you a book for your birthday".

Shanna said Lexi was so excited and totally believed that Dora had personally delivered her the book for her birthday. How cute is that? Lexi was telling me on the phone that morning about the pitter patter they had heard on the front porch.

It was very cute and to hear their little voices that morning on the phone was such a delight. After the good-byes and the I love you's, I hung up the phone and said, "It just goes to show, you should answer each call with a joyous hello, because you never know who will be on the other end of the line" and my part time 21 year old office assistant said, "Well, unless you have caller ID".

Permission Slip

Today is the day that Apozitude gives you a little gift. This gift belongs to you and the cool thing about this gift is you can continue to use it even if you choose to give it away.

The gift today is a Permission Slip. The permission you are being giving is to let go of fear or feeling bad or guilty for doing what you KNOW is best for you to take care of yourself.

Embrace the right to choose what is best for you above everyone else and praise yourself for exercising that right. Good for you for doing what YOU feel is BEST for you.

Needing Relief?

There will be times in our lives when we feel overwhelmed, exhausted and emotionally beaten. When we are experiencing these things and are wanting to feel some relief, we must remember that we have a choice.

We can focus our attention on something in nature, like the trees, the sky and clouds and feel appreciation for the attention that Universal Source continually has upon us.

We can focus our energy and feel appreciation for the divine support we have, divine guidance, divine love and this will ease our suffering.

Suffering is a result of living disconnectedness. Yes, it is true, we are disconnected from happiness and good feelings sometimes, but we are always connected to our Universal Source.

Focusing on the eternal connection will bring us ease.

Another One of Life's Miracles

For the sake of being respectful of another person's privacy I am changing the name of the person in this story.

You never know when some little innocent act of kindness could be a huge turning point in someones life. I learned over the weekend that a note I gave to Joe in the past provided him with just the just the right amount of support to validate his feelings and encouraged him to make a much needed change in his life.

I never knew how that note affected him. In fact I completely forgot about the note all together, but recently I had an opportunity to chat with Joe and have asked his permission to share the gist of what he shared with me. I have paraphrased a bit and changed some of the details to protect his privacy, but here is what was shared with me:

I'm working hard to learn to love myself and to have a group of others with similar beliefs as myself as a support system. I am serious about wanting change in my life and I've always been able to recognize evidence of a being greater than myself in my life experiences with people and animals. Honestly, your note to me on that day at that time in my decision making process was huge and I still read it every day to remind myself that focusing on the problem makes me a part of the problem. Telling me that my greatest asset was believing everything was going to be okay was so validating for me. The reason I am telling you this is because I trust you. I realize that even though you don't realize it and you're not perfect just like everybody else doesn't take away from the feeling I have that you are an angel among us. You're in this world to shine your light and I believe you do a really good job of it just by being yourself without even realizing the light that everybody gets just from being around you.

Oh my gosh! What an amazing compliment and really Joe deserves to be grateful and praising of himself, because all I did was leave a note. He is the one that took that note and decided to make a change. Someone else may have just read the note, thought it was nice and went on with their lives in the same manner.

Good for you Joe! Give yourself credit for having the courage to make a change for the better in your life. I am grateful for you in my life and for sharing the affect my note had on you. I appreciate the feedback because I believe my purpose in life is to facilitate light, love, happiness and growth and had you not shared this with me, I never would have known the impact that small gesture of kindness had on you. Thank you for trusting me and for granting your permission to share this experience in my blog. I think it is an amazing thing to share in an effort to expand awareness and growth.

Right on Time

I know I've written about the new sweet love of my life, Marbles, our 10 week old golden retriever, but I know I haven't shared all the little things about this precious being and the process of bringing him into our lives that have made it, "oh so very special".

I know that if you are an avid reader you know that our sweet 12 year old golden, Waffles, transitioned back in September. We had a long last 5 months with him. He started having seizures in May and we discovered a tumor on his brain. We decided to treat the tumor with radiation treatments because of the location of the tumor it was deemed inoperable.

Our hope was the treatments would reduce the size of the tumor and the seizures would stop. Once the treatments were complete and he was on seizure control meds, the seizures continued, even with increased dosages of his meds. Our hearts were slowly breaking with each episode.

Towards the end it got to the point where he was having small continuous seizures and the sweet little Waffles energy that he always had was gone. The last 24 - 36 hours of his life were some of the hardest hours of my life. I was and remain ever grateful that Keri and I were in agreement when we decided it was time to set his spirit free.

We knew we did every single thing we could have done. We had no regrets regarding how we raised him, fed him, trained him, decided how to deal with his ailment and in the end how we decided to provide a graceful way out of his suffering.

We grieved and we grieved HARD!!!

Now that I've practically brought myself to tears, let's focus more on how special the process has been bringing Marbles into our lives? The coincidences are far too frequent and obvious not to mention.

We knew Waffles was going to go before we were ready and had discussed how long we would wait to get a new puppy. We agreed that we would wait until we were ready. Waffles transitioned on Sunday Sept. 21st and by Tuesday Sept. 23rd we decided we were ready to have a happy little puppy energy in our lives. We knew it would be a process, so we wanted to put our feelers out and see what would come of our inquiries.

Keri reached out to several Golden Retriever breeders and it turned out that, Judy, the breeder we got Waffles from had two momma dogs that were pregnant. One of the momma's, Chatter, was pregnant with a litter from Paisley, a son of the great, Rolex. Rolex was Waffles' daddy.

OMG!!! If Chatter had more than one boy in her litter we could have a nephew of our sweet and precious Waffles. The reason Chatter needed to have more than one boy was because Paisley belongs to Judy's son and he wanted to have a boy from that litter for breeding purposes.

We would have been just as pleased with a puppy from the other litter. We met both the momma dogs and they were so sweet, but as it turns out Chatter had 2 boys and 7 girls. The important part there is that she had TWO boys. We were in!!!

During that initial conversation Keri had with Judy, Judy shared that Rolex had just transitioned in May, right before his 16th birthday and right when Waffles began having seizures. So, in Sept. when we were talking about getting a new puppy we realized Waffles had returned to his spiritual realm where his father was as well. I have to admit this news provided me with a little comfort, just because I felt like Waffles had his Daddy to provide him some guidance in his new realm.

When we found out Chatter had the puppies, we learned they were born on October 23rd 2014. Why is that significant? Well, two reasons: 1) the puppies would be 8 weeks old the weekend before Christmas and right at the perfect time Garrison was coming into town from Oklahoma for the holidays, enabling him to go with us to get our second puppy from Judy. Garrison was 12 years old when we went to Judy's to pick up Waffles. Now, at 24 he went with us to pick up Marbles, right on time. 2) Over the last year or so, Keri and I have been planning an event with family and friends to celebrate our marriage and our relationship in 2015. The date? October 23rd, 2015. Marbles will be turning one on our event date and yes, he will be there. October 2015, Keri and I will be celebrating our 20 year anniversary and our puppy's birthday.

Are you beginning to believe this puppy was meant for us? Yes, us too. See how remarkable the coincidences are? Wait there's more!!!! Saturday when we took Marbles to his very first vet appointment, a well puppy check, his doctor, Dr. Shannon Williams gave him a new toy. It was a little blue bear and I kid you not one little bit. That blue bear was exactly like the little blue bear Judy gave to Waffles 12 years ago as his take home toy. The little blue bear she rubbed on Waffles' mom and all of his litter mates, so he would have some comfort in his new home. We still have that bear, well now we have two.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="673"] The blue bear on the right is the bear Judy gave to Waffles 12 yrs ago.[/caption]

 

Given that Rolex is the father of Waffles and Paisley and the grandfather of Marbles, and all the details I've shared with you here today, we decided to register Marbles with a very special name. His father is registered as Wood Duck Time Well Wasted "Paisley" his mother is registered as Wood Duck Time to Talk "Chatter" and our puppy, their son, is registered at Wood Duck Right on Time "Marbles".

Dude, I'm Half Ginger

Over the weekend my best friend from age 16 posted this meme on her FB page, which is kinda funny because #1 she is a red head and #2 she has been nominated by all those who know her to be an official member of the grammar police.



I commented that we thought Marbles was going to be a red head and that his little eyelashes are red. I almost added that I call him our sweet little ginger. In fact I did type that part out, but then deleted it because I wasn't 100% sure the term "ginger" might not be offensive to her.

Instead, I decided to send her a text to ask her opinion on the term "ginger". This was her reply: "Well, the negative connotation came from a South Park episode, in which the South Park kids were trying to gather up all the ginger kids because they said gingers had no souls. And there are a lot of ginger jokes that are negative, so that’s where that came from. In my experience, most redheads are proud of it and don’t mind being called ginger because they feel their gingerness is rare and unique. I’m a proud ginger and I don’t know one redhead that minds being called ginger. It's very thoughtful of you to ask."

Here is what I responded: "I am happy to hear more and more people of all kinds of differences are turning differences into points of pride. It seems more and more acceptance is being cultivated and diversity of all sorts is being celebrated. I'm proud of my ginger bestie."

I have to share this part of the thread because it's the best part. She also shared this bit: "What’s funny to me is that kids today think “ginger” is like a race. I remember one time when my son was in high school and was in football summer training. He had a lot of bruises on his arms and one of his teammates asked him why he bruised so easily. Her son replied, “Dude, I’m half ginger!” That still cracks me up."

A Moment Of Gratitude

I want to take a moment to share a bit of gratitude. It is very simple. I love knowing what I know. What I know is that everything is always working out for me. I am a writer and a writer must write. Last week I had the opportunity to write in front of this beautiful view.

I love my life.

Still Learning

I love the little things in life that shine a new light on a situation. I love the opportunity to change my perspective. I love awareness and expansion. All of these things are true and the thing that occurred that brought this thought to my mind is a funny little situation between Garrison and I.

As you know he has been in town visiting for the holidays. We set him up in the guest room that was his room when he lived with us most recently, as an adult. While looking through the stuff in there, he found my red fuzzy Viking hat that I got from the Warrior Dash I ran back in September.

Garrison came out into the hall wearing the Viking hat and announced that he was going to be taking it back to Oklahoma because the mascot of his school is a Viking. He said he was going to wear the hat to games and stuff. I responded, "Oh I can't wait to see that".

He looked at me a little confused and said, "What do you mean? You can see me right now?" I clarified, "I mean I can't wait to see it on Facebook in real life". Garrison said, "This is real life mom, FB is not real". I meant a real life situation.

Of course I realize that FB is not real life and that we are experiencing real life in this moment, but this situation created a new level of awareness for me. On one hand, FB does provide a glimpse into the lives of our friends and loved ones, near and far, however it really only provides a glimpse of what they are willing to share, but really I guess that's always the case.

How well do we really know those closest to us? Only as well as they allow us. Maybe an even better question is, how well do we really know ourselves? As for me, I know myself better than I used to and I am still learning.

My hope is that I will continue to grow and expand my ideas and concepts about life. In this process of life I hope I am evergreen and growing.

Yup! It's a New Year

Happy New Year People. Yes, it is a new year and many think of this as a time to make change and start anew, but just remember it's not just a new year that provides us with this opportunity. Every day of our lives provides the same opportunity.

Any given moment you can make a change. You have the power to slow your momentum when its revving up in a less than desirable manner and create momentum in a positive direction. You have the power to focus on something better.

I'd like to take this opportunity to share with you some very profound wisdom that Keri shared with me yesterday regarding having a new puppy. I am sharing it with you because I think it applies to way more than just having a new puppy.

OK, are you ready? Here it is: Its hard when its hard and its fun when its fun, we just have to enjoy the fun times.