That tattoo came about because of a big lesson in acceptance. I was having really bad back pain for several years. I had chiropractic adjustments, massages, acupuncture, Chinese herbs, physical therapy, Epsom salt soaks and Reiki treatments and none of this resolved my back pain. The pain peaked when I was 40, and there were times it was putting me on my hands and knees with tears running down my face. I tried meditation during which I asked myself, "What am I supposed to learn from this? Why am I in such pain? What is the purpose?"Acceptance was the answer that came to me.
So, I accepted the pain and found a doctor in Feb 2010 that recommend lots of alternatives for addressing the back pain, but 1st wanted to order an ultrasound of my pelvic because she noticed a swelling in my abdomen. March 2010 I was on the operating table of my newly recommended gynecologist. I was having the largest specimen of a uterus that she'd ever seen removed due to benign fibroids. It took 3 surgeons twice the time my gynecologist thought it was going to take her and her assistant to remove "the rather large specimen". I read that a typical uterus is 60-80 grams and mine was 500 grams. Yes, 500 grams.
So, think about being 6-7 months pregnant for 10 years. What a pain!!!
It wasn't until I accepted the pain that I was able to find the path beyond the pain. So, I know that acceptance is the key, but I still find myself in situations that seem like I haven't really learned it yet.
So, I guess my question now is what door does this key of acceptance open? If I am aware that acceptance is the key why do I continue to find myself in situations in which I need to accept something? Is acceptance as a key just a tool that we use over and over? Maybe that's it!!!
It's not really that I haven't learned that acceptance is the key, it's just that now that I am aware of the tool I need to master the skill of using acceptance as a tool. I can accept that.
Love it! Great blog and great message! I want to talk to you about how you got this going! I got things to say too!!!lots of 'em!
ReplyDeleteIt's so true. A friend at coffee yesterday called it "letting the keys find you."
ReplyDeleteWe had been talking about trying fix things--losing faith, desperately wanting a relationship's and I said it was like when you lose your car keys and search desperately for them. At some point you surrender and figure you'll take the bus. And--BOOM-just like that, they show up right there in front of you.
Sometimes surrender is okay.
Acceptance to me means having no judgement. It's not good, it's not bad, it just is. It's not right, it's not wrong, it just is. Acceptance to me is to finally give up control. Deep breath and be.
ReplyDeleteMike referred me to your blog and I am so thankful. I am learning that I might accept and maybe surrender and yes about anything seems to trigger more now but I am willing for sure to accept to move on and learn what it is that triggers deep inside pain and tears and anxiety. Something is about to come up and I am starting to have nightmares and seeing things I do not yet understand but I am ready to face it head on and get on with my life. If it was not for Mike I am not sure how I would have moved on or know how to find help to move on but knowing there is hope and other people have dealt with same things I have and endured dealing with the past makes me stronger and I will become a survivor. Thank you for your blog and thank you my friend Mike for sending it to me! I just took my first baby step of a long road to healing , I know it will have its up and down and good and bad times but I am ready , I am tired of the pain and suffering and running from whatever it is, it is ok it is coming up I will deal with it , learn what it is and heal even knowing that for the rest of my life there will be triggers who will bring this back but by learning and knowing how to handle it I will be able to pass thru it .
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