Let it alone

You absolutely would not believe some of the things that people say to me sometimes. I called a guy the other day and he said, "Hold on! I can't hear you, I've got two chickens in my hands."

What??? (sigh) I have no idea. I just let it go, because to try and clarify would only further complicate my day. Obviously because he had two chickens in his hands.

Another guy walks into the office, looks me straight in the face and the first words out of his mouth, I kid you not one bit were, I don't like your hair.

I received a call the other day from a guy that wanted to make a payment toward his account, so I clarified the amount that was due and replied, "Ok, I'm ready when you are." and he asked if he could pay by check or debit (over the phone mind you). I said, "Well,...I can't take a check over the phone,..." He was befuddled and said, "Damnit! I got everything ready before I called too, so I could write you a check" I shook my head in disbelief and asked just to clarify that this wasn't a misunderstanding on my part, Were you intending to make a payment over the phone? He was, indeed. I said, Alrighty, well then we'll need your debit or credit card number. He was shuffling things around and mumbling while he was looking for his wallet that he couldn't seem to find. I suggested he call back when he found it.

Guess what!!! He called back. His wallet as in his car. Ok, I'm ready for the number. I could hear him shuffling through his wallet. I can't find my card. Maybe I left it in my car. Again, I suggested he call back when he found it. Not even two minutes later he called back. It was, in fact on the floor behind his drivers seat. (sigh) Why I have to know all this, is a frustrating mystery to me. So, finally he reads me the number.

Guess what!!!! Transaction denied! Seriously???? He asked me to try again. Denied!!! Ok, lemme call my bank this is my good card. It should work.

For Fuck's sake how does this guy survive? I really don't understand. I had the pleasure of speaking to him one more time and on the 5th call, we did finally get the payment applied to his account. Geez!!!

But the topper of all stories was when this old Italian woman from New York came in with her husband. She was waiting for him while he went in for his appointment. While waiting, she was perched on the edge of her chair, just waiting for someone to glance her way. I could feel her tense yearning to be acknowledged and my bleeding heart caused my eyes to glance her way with a slight greeting smile on my face and tip of my head, I asked her how she was and that was all the invitation she needed. She popped up out of that chair as if she were spring loaded and made a b line to my desk. She started in on all the ways her life was miserable.

In her thick Italian/New York accent she explain how she had been to the "Dawkta to see about an infection." uncomfortable pause,... "Ya' know',...down'air" She raised her eyebrows, opened her eyes real wide and tilted her head towards her nether regions.

OH MY GAWD!!!! I can not believe this woman is telling me this!!!! She proceeded to explain how she asked her Dawkta what she should do about it and he recommended that she, in her words, "Let it alone".

Yes! What I am telling you is that this 80 year old, 4 foot tall, white haired woman was telling me right there in our dental office reception area about her infected vagina. Why? WHY??? Why me??? And believe me, I am saving you from many of the details of this very VERY awkward situation. She's not even a patient of our office,...

I told you that you wouldn't believe me,... But it's true. I guess I just have this look about me that dares people to try and get a reaction out of me, or I have an energy about me that allows people to feel very free and comfortable with me and they just open up like pandora's box. All I have to say is, Some things are private and that is ok.