And the Twirling Stops

Well, I gave it my best shot. I tried for 18 months to let my hair grow long. It was frustrating as hell, and not just for me. Ask my wife. It did get pretty long, well pretty long for me. It was taking too much time and energy to style it in the morning and maintain all day. I just got tired of messing with it.

I tried cutting just a couple inches off the back to see if being off my neck would help and it did. A little bit, but it not nearly enough. It was just long enough to blow in my face and not long enough to pull back. Getting the puppy was the clincher. Up in the middle of the night for potty breaks, with no glasses in the dark and the wind was blowing my hair all in my face. I couldn't see if he pooped or not. Did he step in it? Where is it??? OMG, THIS HAIR!!!! The sleep depravation did not help.

THAT'S IT!!!

Life is too short to be this pissed off at my stupid hair! Whew!!! Now,... my hair is too short to be pissed off at all. So nice. So easy. Big huge sigh of relief. I feel like me again.

I am really glad I went through the process of growing out my hair because when I decided to embark on that journey, I thought longer hair would help me feel more girlie. It did in fact take me to a more girlie feeling place in my life.

I felt more expressive, more animated and a little more flirty. It was as if the longer hair and all the business of having longer hair tapped me into a part of myself that had been laying dormant somewhere inside me.

The head flips to get hair out of my face, arms in the air messing with my hair, whether drying, brushing, adding product or twirling. OH MY GOD the twirling!!! Purchasing all those barrettes, pins and scarves were all part of a magical set of keys that unlocked the girlie side of me.

A funny thing I've realized through this process is, the way I FELT before with short hair and dressing androgynously didn't really match at all how I was perceived. Since I've been dipping my toe in the "GIRL WATER" and have been vocal about my process, I have heard from numerous people that they never thought or perceived me as a butch person. I've been told I couldn't be butch if I tried.

Since I've cut my hair, I've had soooo many people tell me that short hair really suits me. Which suits me just fine because it's far less burdensome for me. I feel free. I feel like the pretty little butterfly that I am. Looking back on the process, growing out my hair felt like I was incasing myself in a long haired cocoon. I swear it was because of all that damned twirling and cutting my hair short feels like I've broken free. I've said it before and I'll say it again, You can't tether a butterfly. :)

The cool part is I don't feel they way I used to feel with my hair short again. I still feel expressive, animated and flirty. I feel a confidence within myself that I didn't feel before. So, it seems to me, the confidence was not in the longer hair it was in me, deep within me. I just had to dig it up and now that I've got all that extra time in the morning I can start playing with make-up. YAY!!!

I'm sure Keri is very excited.