You saw my wife???? (big smiley face)

If you read my blog post, I am a writer, then you'll get this reference, Its another time and here's another story. If you did not read that post,... What are you waiting for, it was a good one.

I knew I was going to have a pretty good chunk of time between dropping Keri off at work and getting to my appointment. I needed to find a place to camp out for a bit. So, I decided in advance to take my iPad with me, find a little coffee shop close to my appointment and do some writing.

What I decided upon was not ideal, but it worked. I landed in the Good Samaritan Hospital Espresso bar right across the street from my doctor's office. I wanted a softer environment, I wanted something comfy. I wanted that little coffee shop off East Burnside that has the sunken side room off to the left with the big couch, over stuffed chairs and mix matched dining room tables and chairs that looked like they were plucked straight out of the 70's. That coffee lounge comes equipped with open funky artsy chatty people. My people.

What I got at Good Sam Espresso bar was plastic tables and chairs. All matching and perfectly clean, not that I have anything against clean. I certainly don't, but it was the sterile feeing I didn't appreciate, in the ambience and otherwise. Let me explain.

I was standing in line and there was only one person ahead of me. I was facing forward, as you would expect and from behind me I heard a woman say, "I saw your wife yesterday,..." and me being me, I, of course thought she was talking to me and without a thought I spun around to see who I was having the pleasure of randomly bumping into. To my surprise she was not someone I knew, but again without a thought I chuckled and placed the tips of my fingers upon my chest, as if I were surprised, because I actually was, and I said with a smile, "Oh, I thought you were talking to me,..." Much like the ambience her response was very sterile, no returned smile or chuckle,...Oh wait, I did get something from her a dead pan glance and then a dismissive turn away.

I didn't really put much thought into her response or the exchange and went about my business of deciding what I was going to order. I decided on a skinny cappuccino, but while I was waiting for the person ahead of me, I noticed a man, dressed in a pressed white shirt, tie and dress pants, had walked up to the self serve station. I heard conversation going on behind me, but I hadn't really put the nice dressed man together with dead pan Nance. As I saw him standing beside me with his self serve coffee already prepared, I decided to let him go before me. No problem, right? Then he wouldn't have to wait for my cappuccino to be prepared. He looked like he was probably on his way to work and might appreciate the consideration.

The person ahead of me paid up and left, I looked his way and tipped my head forward and said, Go ahead. He stepped forward, paid for his coffee and left. As he left, he and dead pan Nance exchanged pleasantries. OK, what's wrong there? I'll tell you what's wrong!!! He didn't even smile at me or say thank you or anything,... ZERO acknowledgment of the consideration I just gave him. What the fuck??? Strike two! That's what the fuck.

Big deep breath.

Breathing

Breathing

Breathing

Screw it! I had time ahead of me to sit and enjoy my coffee. Time to write. Time to focus on something pleasant and I wasn't about to waste a single moment of that opportunity to relive or stay focused on an unpleasant experience that already happened and that I had zero power to change.

So, why am I writing about it now? I am writing about it now because I'd like to share with others a reminder that we don't have control over how other people behave. People can be shitty sometimes, but that doesn't mean we have to be shitty back or carry their shitty treatment of us around with us. It feels so much better to rise above and carry on with our own good vibes. We have control of our own selves and we can choose to step off the roller coaster of irrational reaction and choose peace by letting it go.

Change your mind

I read one of those little meme things on Facebook recently that read, It's hard to stay positive when it seems like everything is going wrong, and my response to that was, If it seems that everything is going wrong, it may be time to change your mind.

What I mean by that is, perhaps, if your mind were focused on something that brings you joy, then maybe you could begin to feel a bit of relief. I know it is hard to do sometimes, but it is possible to change your focus. It is possible to retrain your brain. I know it's possible because I do it.

Imagine for just a moment that you're sitting in a cold drafty room with a leaky roof and there is slow constant drip right on top of your head. This water is dripping, dripping, dripping right on your head, constantly nagging you. Every single time it drips on you, your body has a slight flinch and over time this flinch causes you to tire and feel exhausted. Your muscles tighten and you can't seem to relax.

Then all of a sudden you realize you can get up from the chair and walk away from the drip that has been driving you crazy! You can seek out a more desirable place to be.

Imagine what a relief you would feel to be away from that nagging drip. It can be as easy or as difficult as you choose and yes, you can choose.

You have the power to make changes in your life. All it takes is for YOU to make up your mind that you want better and then reach out and grab it! Reach for happy feeling thoughts. Reach for a sense of relief. Begin by taking the needle off the record of all the thoughts that drive you crazy. Bring peace into your current moment. Rest your brain and allow peace to drift in and imagine your body relaxing as you let go.

Just let go. Release your grip on that negative source of frustration. Release your grip on that confusion and open your mind to certainty. Start with what you know. I know I am sitting here right now, I know I am breathing right now. I know I want change in my life. I know that breath is the source of life. If I am not breathing I am not living and I can feel my breath. I know I can sit here for just a minute and focus my thoughts on my breathing, so I can experience a moment of relief. There is no right or wrong way to do this. The point is to feel relief.

As you do this and begin to experience a bit of relief, you may find that sense of relief very desirable. You may want to practice getting a moment of relief more and more and you find that you rather enjoy it. One moment of relief turns into two, and then 5 and so on. You may find that feeling a sense of relief is much easier than you thought and that is how you change your mind.

Change your mind, change your life.

Dealing with stress

There are times when we encounter very stressful situations or very stressful people and sometimes we simply allow other people's drama to leak into our lives. It's not really that we allow it, but we're just bee bopping along on our happy trail and someone enters our realm of happiness and starts spewing their negative drama all over our pixie dust fairy tail life. Sometimes we just bump right into it, without any sort of a hint that it is present. It can be quite a shock!

I am aware of negative energies around me and I do my best to avoid direct contact, but sometimes its just a head on collision, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. I do take deep breaths and attempt to let go of any responsibility for these negative energy sucks! I remind myself to breathe. Breathing is the essence of life. Without the breathing exercises,... it is very possible that I might just explode. Stress is directly related to heart attacks and that is one of the big reasons why I do what I can to avoid stress or deal with stress in a healthy manner.

So, take a moment (go ahead and do this as you read) ,...and take a deep healthy breath,... slowly in through your nose,.... And hold it for a count of one,...then slowly release that breath,...out through your mouth ,....and shut the fuck up! There now don't you feel better? I know I do.