Tree in the Wind

I don't how many of you have tried yoga, but I've been dabbling with yoga for probably five years or so, give or take a little. When I say dabbling with yoga, I mean following different yoga classes on several different work out dvd series that we do at home. I haven't really had any formal yoga training. Well, that's not exactly true. My boss at work did provide a yoga instructor one day a week during our lunch for a period of time. I don't remember how long it was, but it definitely was a novice level class.

Anyway, the reason I brought it up today is because Keri and I did a yoga work out today and I don't know if it has anything to do with my Fred Flintstone toes or what, but my balancing poses are a total crack up. My balancing tree with hands in prayer DOES NOT exist. I can get in balancing tree but my tree is definitely enduring some kind of wind storm. I can't even get my hands in prayer. Maybe that's why it's not working.

My hands are always waving in the breeze trying to assist with balance. I think my stubby little toes provide little support in a one legged balancing pose. Keri on the other hand has long grippy toes and she stands so still and poised in her balancing tree pose with her hands perfectly and peacefully pressed together in prayer.

Inner Poise

Unless you decide to live like a Tibetan monk or Howard Hughes, you are going to come in contact with people. I guarantee those people live their lives very differently than you do. You cannot avoid people, therefore you will encounter contrast. It has taken quite some time for me to realize this, but I have completely come to terms with the idea that I have ZERO control over anything other than myself and my reactions. When I say I have completely come to terms with this idea, I mean in this very moment, because no one is perfect and I do have my days, my moments when I get flustered by what other people say and do.

However, it is my intention on a daily basis, sometimes a minute to minute basis, to let go of what I have no control over because it simply does not make me feel good. I have to remind myself, Let it go. It doesn't feel good to focus on it. But did you hear what she said to me? I know. Let it go. I can't believe the gall,... I know. Just let it go. But,... Let it go. Ok, I should let it go? Yes. Just take a deep breath and let it go.

So, you can see the challenge I find myself faced with is maintaining my good feeling self in the presence of something I find undesirable. I have noticed that when my attention is focused on something I don't like, that "something that I don't like", lingers and grows. It can ruin a WHOLE day. It is crystal clear that energy flows where attention goes. Resistance equals persistence. When you find yourself pulling against something unwanted, doesn't it seem to just get stronger? That's because your attention to it is like doing a bicep curl, ya see? The resistance of the weight makes your muscle stronger. Same with focusing on the negative OR the positive. Choices!!! We all have choices.

I really don't like this slow moving bumper to bumper traffic, but I love my car and I love this song and I love the sky I can see surrounding all of this traffic. It makes me feel good to look at the sky. The sky is so peaceful it reminds me of being by the ocean and the meditative lull of the waves. The rhythm of the waves rock me to a very peacful serene place. Every time I go to the beach I look at the sky and I take that feeling with me everywhere I go because no matter where I go, there is always sky.

But then there are the more challenging situations. I really don't like the way this person is behaving and I'm not crazy about the way this person is talking to me, but I do like the way I have control over my reactions. I like knowing that I can maintain my sense of calm and their actions belong to them. I like knowing I have space to be me and I can allow them to have their space to be them. I like how good it feels to remain calm. This external experience can not disturb the peace that dwells within my soul.

Peace out.

Apozitude 101

OK, here's the deal. You wanna talk about things that are awful? You wanna tell me about something that is horrible? You say it makes you feel bad and makes you sad? Here's the deal! With me? You've got 15 seconds and then you're cut off. I value my sense of peace so much so that it is against Apozitude rules to go on for longer that 15 seconds about a subject that brings down the vibe.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you can't do it. I mean if that's your thing, go right ahead if that's really what you wanna do. Just know that after 15 seconds I'll be tuning you out. I don't mean to be rude, I just care that much about how I feel. If you wanna tell me about how much you love little flowers, plants, trees, animals, babies, cars, art, music, computers, and anything really that you are in love with, You've got my full attention. I love to hear about what you love and doesn't it feel so good to talk about what you love?

That's the whole point of life, to be in love, to live life the way it was truly intended for us. Be in love with your life. Focus on the things that bring you complete elation. Drench yourself in the good stuff. Just pour it all over everything, like it's your favorite dressing in the whole wide world (AND it has ZERO calories). Mine is blue cheese. I am living in a blue cheese drenched world and I am absolutly loving it. I don't know there's probably beer and crab in there too.

Life is just too good to spend a single nanosecond on anything other love and happiness. Let's foucus on the good. Yes? Ok, you've got yourself a deal.

Training your inner dog

I am a woman. I am a wife. I am a mom. I am a daughter, a friend, a lesbian, a cousin, a niece, a customer, a stranger and on and on,...

Bigger, than all those labels of roles I fill in this time I have chosen to walk this planet, I am an eternal spiritual being. I have been here before and I will be here again. Without the physical body of Angel Zamudio this lifetime will end and I will still exist because I am an Eternal Spiritual Being (ESB). The essence of me, the bundle of energy that makes me who I am will carry on long after Angel Zamudio is gone and that is because I AM. There is no label to define me. I am more than words.

I AM and You are too. What ever it is you are seeking, take a moment and close your eyes. If we really are ESB and we ARE, then every thing we could ever look for outside of ourselves is a limitless path of suffering because everything we could ever need is right there within. It's kind of like getting all worked up and stressed out because you can not find your keys and they were in your pocket the whole time.

The key is to stop the frantic search and look within. The answers, ALL of the answers are right there within you. Stop the frantic search. Stop the constant stream of thoughts. Take some slow deep breaths. Be still and allow the answers to flow.

If you are reading this and feel resistance developing, stop reading and just sit with that resistance. Allow it to be. Ask yourself what am I resisting. Allow the answers to flow to you.

Think of it like training a dog to walk with a loose leash. You begin on your walk and every single time your dog quickens his pace and makes the leash tight (resistance), you stop. Once your dog comes to a complete stop, you begin to walk again. Sometimes it will seem like you will never get through the walk because of how often you have to stop, but once you have trained your dog or your resistance to relax you will have a lifetime of pleasant walks.

It is worth the effort it takes to know the peace and happiness that exists in the realm of no resistance.

When you're ready,...

Just about every time I talk to someone about my blog, I get the same question. What is Apozitude about? I usually say something along the lines of it being about my life experiences and how having a positive attitude affects me and my life, but recently I gave this explanation to someone and she asked in return, "Is that really all it's about?" She continued, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I've read your blog and it seems to me it's not just about having a positive attitude, but more about being helpful" I've been giving that idea some thought and I'd have to agree. I don't always have a positive message, but it is my intention to be helpful.

I have a strong desire to be helpful and that is a big contributing factor as to why I write this blog. I was thinking about this concept of being helpful today and it occurred to me that I really do not care how my loved ones receive life changing messages. I simply want them to be exposed to the types of messages that create paradigm shifts in their lives. I want them to feel like they have choices and that they have the power to make decisions. I want them to feel comfortable about making mistakes. I want them to feel the awesomeness of taking risks and feeling success. I want my loved ones to feel love. I want them to know a sense of peace that passes the realm of understanding and I am not attached to the way they receive these messages, meaning it doesn't have to come from me.

The thing about wanting all those things for the people that I love is that I can not want it bad enough for them to receive it. They have to want it, and they have to want it enough to seek it out for themselves. All I can do is want it bad enough to seek it out for myself. I want to be happy. I want to be in a good mood. I want to have a peaceful mind. And guess what! I am happy. I am in a good mood and I do have a peaceful mind.

Whenever you are ready to attain it, it shall be yours as well.

Absolute Power

Sometimes I find my self stuck in a rut. Usually that "stuck" feeling is directly associated with incessant thoughts that plague me with heavy feelings of hopelessness, guilt, fear or a myriad of other negative feelings. The truly amazing thing about that last sentence is the word thoughts and I will tell you why.

We as humans have ABSOLUTE power over our thoughts. Stop for a moment and think about this concept. You. have. absolute. power. over. your. thoughts. You may think you don't, but think about a time you've said to yourself, I just can't think about that right now, and what do you do? You change your focus and you move on to something else. Your mind may drift back into those nagging thoughts that bring you down, but time and time again, whether you are aware of it or not you shift your focus to something else, so you can proceed with your day.

You. have. absolute. power. over. your. thoughts.

The next step is to hone that skill of putting thoughts aside. Right now, it may be that your ability to set thoughts aside is like playing catch with yourself. Let's pretend for a moment, you have an imaginary version of yourself and this imaginary version of yourself can hold your nagging thoughts for a bit while your real self can let go of those thoughts long enough to tend to some of your daily tasks. Then your imaginary self gets tired of holding the nagging thoughts, so they pass the thoughts back on to you. You sort of go back and forth tossing these nagging thoughts back and forth and back and forth, wearing you both out in the process. Contemplate the energy it takes to refocus every time you toss off those nagging thoughts.

Now, think about your ability to toss off those nagging thoughts. Imagine you have a coach working with you, observing you, and watching for indications of taking on those thoughts again. Then your coach stops you in the middle of the back and forth game and says, "Hey, real self you know you don't have to reach out and catch those nagging thoughts your imaginary self is tossing back at you." You pause. You look at your imaginary self and refocus without taking the thoughts back. It's kinda like the idea that you can't play tug of war with someone if they don't pick up the other end of the rope. Right?

So, the whole point is to let go. Let go of hopelessness. Let go of guilt. Let go of fear and let go of that which you hold no control over. How do you do this? You focus on what you do have control over and that my friend, is your thoughts.

Remember, you have absolute control over your thoughts. Now, I DARE YOU to try to make ME think of something I don't want to think about. You can't do it, because I have absolute control over what I think about. I choose peace. I choose happiness. I choose love. I choose freedom.

The Little Pleasures in Life

Today, my friend John Vega, introduced me to a blog I'd like to follow by Dr. Judith Orloff. John heard Dr. Orloff speak at his church today and was very impressed with her presentation. He introduced me to her as someone that teaches us how to awaken our intuition, deal with energy vampires and transform depression and anxiety. I thought that is right up my alley, so I went and checked it out.

The very first blog I read was entitled Surrender to the Miracle of Love. In the blog Dr. Orloff points out how to identify your soul mate and guess what!!! You got it!!! Keri and I are, in fact, soul mates. It's not like we needed confirmation, but there it was right there in seven bullet points.

- You feel a strong connection, comfort and sense of familiarity.
- There's a physical attraction.
- You share mutual love, commitment and support.
- You "get" each other; you're each other's biggest fans
- You are emotional mirrors and teachers for each other
- You're in synch, even telepathic
- You're willing to work through conflict, compromise and surrender unhealthy patterns to improve the relationship.

I'll take that last bullet point and add that we're willing to, not only improve our relationship, but ourselves as individuals as well. As we have grown over the years it has been a great deal of work, but for the most part we have alot of fun together.

One of the things that we are really grateful for is the fact that we travel so well together. We like similar levels of activity while on vacation, which is pretty much eating and napping, preferablly on a warm sunny beach.

Daily life can be challenging with working on our selves, our relationships and finding the balance that feels comfortable for oursleves and the people who share our lives. Finding a blog like Dr. Orloff's that offers lessons on how to awaken intuition, deal with energy vampires and transform difficult emotions will be a very valuable tool in my tool belt and hopefully will assist in making future vacations even more relaxing. A more peacful life with my soul mate will inevitablly lead to more peacful vacations.

Thank you, John Vega, for sharing.

Why is letting go so hard sometimes? Part 2 of 3

If everything happens for a reason, what was the purpose of that living hell?

To teach me to let go and I did. I am grateful for learning that lesson.

The truly sad part of all of that was for Keri and Karen, both robbed of relationships with each other. The even more tragic part of this, now, is that any hope of a chance is gone. Sadly, Karen passed away in August 2012.

Keri got the call from her sister it was time to make the trip. Keri looked at me after explaining the situation and said, I want you to go with me. Which seems like the logical thing, right? But I think the last time I went to one of Keri's family functions prior to this was Thanksgiving 1995. I remember because her grandpa was still alive and he leaned in to me as glanced over to Keri and said, She's a good girl. Take good care of her. I would do anything for my baby.

We walked into Karen's hospital room and with out a beat, as if it were nothing at all Kirsten, Keri's sister, came over to us and hugged Keri and then hugged me. She and her fiancé at the time, now husband, Kelly, rather quickly updated us on Karen's status. It was totally and completely surreal standing there in that hospital room with Keri.

It felt so bizarre to be there in the most fragile moments of this woman's life. I, for so many years, wanted so badly to be in the same room with her to have a chance to know her, love her and hug her and here I was standing there looking at her silently wondering why we couldn't have shared Keri in our lives.

There was a moment when Keri and Kirsten were called out into the hall to talk to the doctor and I was left alone with Karen. I was looking at her and these words just started flowing out of my mouth, "I just want you to know that with every fiber of my being I love your daughter and I am sorry you and I never had a chance to get to know each other, but what ever it was that kept us from knowing each other, I let it go a long time ago. I want you to know peace."

It was the weirdest thing ever having this very personal one sided conversation with this woman I barely knew. These were not my words, there was no way I could have been that poised in that given moment. I was confused and felt like what the hell am I doing here this woman wanted nothing to do with me. Why am I standing here with you right now? I really was just a little bit nervous that she might open her eyes and wonder what the hell I was doing there.

I guess everything does happen for a reason and the reason I was standing there with her all alone was to provide an opportunity for release. Who know's what that moment provided for Karen, but my hope is that for a moment in time the essence of our beings swirled around together, smiled at each other, embraced each other and dissolved all the unknowns, the fears and resistance. All I know is I have peace in my heart and the most wonderful parting gift I have EVER been given.

A bit of relief

I have been struggling with feeling paralyzled by helplessness. It can be so challenging when someone you love is hurting so badly and struggling to find their sense of normal again, but I'd like to share with you a few things I've learned in the last 24 hours.

There is a tremedous sense of relief to be found in allowing yourself to totally feel your feelings. It is not fun to cry and feel vulnerable, but when you give yourself permission to truely feel the full range of emotions associated with challenging times it helps to move beyond those feelings. I can't remember where I heard this, but it goes something like the frame of mind that percieves a problem can not be the same frame of mind that can invision the solution.

So, how do you change your frame of mind??? Excellent question! To that I refer to the wise advice of my friend Susan, "Find one thought of gratitude and breathe that thought into your being. Breath brings life force energy into the body. Which provides a state of peace and awareness, so you are not caught up in incessant thought." When I read those words today, they stopped my tears in their tracks and provided a much needed break in my feelings of helplessness. Thank you.

How did those perfectly strung together words reach my ears today? Another secret revealed right here in Apozitude. Right here. Right now. You gotta open up and let people know you are spinning out of control. All I had to do was send out a single sentence in a private facebook message. That message was this simple. "I am feeling paralyzed by helplessness today." Ask for help.

The next thing is delightfully simple, so prepare yourself. I mean it. Take a deep breath and don't try to make this more difficult than it really is, ok? Think simple and know that when you are feeling down in the dumps you are only one positive encounter away from a changed perspective. Open yourself up to something funny, open yourself up to something light and there it will be, delivering the smile you've been craving. It may take several recommitments to opening up to something funny, but one smile is just a bit of relief and that bit of relief can be the beginning of a better day.

Sending love, happiness and relief out into the world.

The gift of peace

I had a VERY cool experience the other day. There had been a bit of a stress in the morning at work, but we made it to lunch time and I intended to do a little meditation for myself and asked my friend and co-worker if she'd like to join me. She was totally open to it. So, I offered to do a guided meditation.

She sat with me and I opened myself up to divine guidance, as I have never led a guided meditation before. I had no idea what I was going to say, but I kinda thought how difficult could this be? I have listened to guided meditation many times before, so I gave it a whirl.

We sat on the floor legs crossed, facing each other and we began with focusing on breathing. I guided her to become aware of a place in her body that she could feel stress and asked her to take a deep breath. I instructed her to attach her breath to the stress she felt in her body and when she released that breath the stress was going to leave her body with the breath. I actually watched as she took a deep breath in and I watched her release that breath and observed her shoulders lower. I was observing the burden of stress melting away. It was really cool.

I have to admit it was not the best or smoothest meditation ever, but it was my very first time, so I have to give myself credit for trying and actually assisting my friend in achieving a sense of peace. Afterwards, she actually said, Ok, I think I'm ready for round two.

I would definitely do this again.

You deserve a moment of peace

When you practice well-being through meditation you learn how to create your own well being. You are the source of out pouring of love that is being sent out into the world. You have the power to take a deep breath or maybe two or three to create inner poise and calmly guide yourself to a place of peace and tranquility. You can meditate, even if only for a moment. You could have two or three single moments and build upon that to create a good foundation of peace. You have the power. You know how to do it. Start with one deep breath,… After that if you have time for two go ahead and take two.

If you don't know how to do it, start with this: Find a moment in which you can choose to press the pause button on your life. I did it the other day when I was getting ready to put on my shoes. I was sitting on the bottom step of our stairs in the entry way of our house. This is where I usually sit to put on my shoes and I thought I wish I had time to meditate this morning and that is when I heard the subtle little whisper say, Take a moment now.

So, I reached for my phone and I set a timer for two minutes. I closed my eyes and placed my trust in my handy device, without making any extra effort to breathe deeply, I sat there on that bottom step, eyes closed and placed my focus on my breath. My mind did drift a few times, wondering how much time had passed, but my inner calm reminded me that I was simply taking 2 minutes to create more peace within myself and the timer on my phone had never let me down before, so let all your thoughts melt away. These are your two minutes of purposely created peaceful bliss.

It is amazing to me how two minutes of peace feels. If you have never tried meditation, I strongly encourage you to try, not only just for the sense of peace it can immediately provide, but also for the myriad of other health benefits available. So, simple and all right there within your very own brain. The proverbial "they" were not kidding when they said the brain is a very powerful tool. Clink on this link and give it a try.

Where's my cape???

Clarity never ceases to feel utterly amazing!!! It's like when you are worried or nervous or anything else that is not ringing true with feelings of happiness, you're not connected to the Ultimate Creative Source. You've jumped out of the stream and it doesn't feel good. Just as soon as you get your thoughts right or you trust the knowing you are back in the stream, floating down stream.

When you allow it to just BE and trust that doing what feels best to you, all is well. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says because you are being true to yourself. I am allowing myself to be true to myself and I am grateful for the growth. I am grateful for the clarity.

I read in my journal an entry I wrote in August 2008 about an interview with David Lynch in UTNE magazine and I really like the advice section of that interview, so much so that I'm going to share it here. "Stay true to yourself. Let your voice ring out, and don't let anybody fiddle with it. Never turn down a good idea, but never take a bad idea. And meditate. It's very important to experience that self, that pure consciousness. It really helped me. I think it would help any film maker (anybody). So, start diving within, enlivening that bliss consciousness, Grow in happiness and intuition. Experience the joy of doing, and you'll grow in this peaceful way. Everyone will want to sit next to you. And people will give you money" - Lynch

This is great advice!!! I love it!!! Last week when I had a heavy bull shit day, I took some time at lunch to do some purposeful breathing and meditation. I felt so much better afterwards. I sorta' felt floaty. It was amazing to be feeling that way after allowing myself to get amped up by reacting to others egos.

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I don't have any control others ego, fear, worry, etc., but I do have control of my reaction. It's easy to be in control of myself. I am allowing myself to remain calm in the middle of a storm. The thing that keeps me anchored is the purposeful breathing. A tornado of emotion could come spinning into my reality and all I have to do is allow it to be whatever it feels it needs to be and I remain calm and deal with the facts. I have the super human ability to dissolve BULL SHIT.

Grappling? Let it go.

Have you ever been holding on to an idea or a possibility in your mind that just kept replaying over and over that didn't really make you feel very good? A "what if" situation,... I don't like to "what if" negative situations. It feels much better to me to think about "what if" situations that make me feel good. What if Apozitude gets selected to become a published book, what if my Apozitude book goes to the New York best sellers list, what if the interest in Apozitude generates an interest in the children's story that I wrote, there are so many fun things to what if.

To be real honest with you though, I don't just "what if" these things, I actually walk through scenarios in my mind. I get a letter in the mail inviting me to start the process of turning this blog into a book, I sit in a publishers office and discuss the details, I mention my children's story and the potential for a series, I go to book signings. In my mind it is already happening!!!! It is very exciting!

However, if you aren't in the habit of placing yourself in positive "what if" situations, it can seem a little simple minded and silly, but I don't really care how it seems, ya know? It makes me feel good and that is important to me. So, I do it.

I'm not saying that I don't struggle with worry or fear and that my life is always happy sunshine and rainbows. No, I'm not. I grapple with my own set of hang ups, but I don't let it ruin my whole day. I may have to ponder it for a bit, let it go and get happy and then pick it up again and ponder it some more, but I do always end on happy.

So, I have my tricks and my tools at the ready for quick access. One of these tricks about letting go of something that keeps coming up and keeps you tethered to a negative feeling is to actually write it down on piece of paper. Put all of the energy that you have in your body and in your mind about that negative feeling or situation into the writing or just mentally onto that piece of paper, which ever feels more powerful. It can get ugly sometimes, but just mentally vomit it all up and put it on the paper. It's ok to get emotional, it can be part of the process. Then once you have it all on the piece of paper, pick it up and wad it into a ball and hold it in the palm of your hand. Take a deep breath and look at that wad of paper in your open hand and know that there is no wrong way to to this. You can do it as many times as you need to, but look at that piece of paper with all that negative energy balled up into a piece of trash sitting there in the palm of your hand, then turn your hand over and let it go. It feels so good to let all of that energy go, you might be tempted to pick it up and do it again.

Like I said before there is no wrong way to do this, so if you want to pick up all that negativity again just to feel the joy of letting it go, go for it! Nobody is watching and this is your process. There is no judgement here. Please remember though, you could enjoy the moment of peace you just created for yourself. Something else will come along that will provide another opportunity to practice this exercise and you just got happy, so let's end on happy. Whadaya' say?

I get a little emotional sometimes

Yes, it's true, I tend to cry when I am feeling confused, happy, sad, mad, proud and probably a bunch of other things too. If you doubt it, just ask my very patient empathetic wife.

Since I've been on this "girl journey" it seems to have intensified. I'm not sure if it's because I'm opening myself up to things that I've kept shut down for so many years or if I am going through some pre menopause symptoms. Shit!!!! I may be going through menopause!! Oh damn!!! I haven't given a great deal of thought to that portion of the girl journey. Who the hell knows?

What I do know is that Keri has been very supportive and has stood by my side through this whole emotional roller coaster that I have been on and subsequently have dragged her along with me. She met the height requirement and she was standing right there with me. Poor Keri, she just didn't know what kind of roller coaster she was about to board, but she jumped on and she jumped on with me. I love her for that!!! Yes, I'm crying.

The truth of the matter is the last year and a half or so, has been full of life changing events. Some have been, blow my mind, amazing and some are still in transition, on their way to being alright or even amazing.

One of the these life changing events was in August 2012, when Keri's mother passed away and to be completely honest with you, it really crushed me. For so many years I yearned for a relationship with her and for reasons that I do not completely understand, it just wasn't in the cards.

But there was a moment in the hospital when Keri and her sister were called out into the hall to speak with the doctor and I was left alone with their mom. It felt so strange and surreal to be standing there, sharing space with this woman that I wanted a relationship with so badly and was never given the chance. I took a moment and spoke to her with my open heart. I told her that I loved her daughter very much and I wished that she and I could have had a chance to share the experience of loving Keri together. I told her that I wanted her to feel peace and that if she was suffering that it was ok to let go. What I really wanted was for her to open her eyes and wrap her arms around me in a loving embrace, but more than that I wanted her to feel peace. It still makes me cry, but I am very grateful to have shared that moment with her.

It's very difficult to write about, so I believe I will leave it at this, feelings of love, for me, go beyond understanding why someone makes the choices they make. Choices are very personal and we can never really understand why someone else does what they do, but that doesn't mean feelings of love have to cease to exist. If understanding each other were required to feel love, would any of us love any other one of us? I don't understand most of the things people choose, but it doesn't stop my love.

You don't have to get me or understand where I'm coming from because this perspective is mine and mine alone, but I love Keri's mom. I wasn't crazy about some of her choices, but I'm sure she wasn't crazy about some of mine either. However, my wife would not be the wonderful beautifully sarcastic love of my life, if her childhood were not shaped the way it was by the loving hands of her mother.

Change your mind

I read one of those little meme things on Facebook recently that read, It's hard to stay positive when it seems like everything is going wrong, and my response to that was, If it seems that everything is going wrong, it may be time to change your mind.

What I mean by that is, perhaps, if your mind were focused on something that brings you joy, then maybe you could begin to feel a bit of relief. I know it is hard to do sometimes, but it is possible to change your focus. It is possible to retrain your brain. I know it's possible because I do it.

Imagine for just a moment that you're sitting in a cold drafty room with a leaky roof and there is slow constant drip right on top of your head. This water is dripping, dripping, dripping right on your head, constantly nagging you. Every single time it drips on you, your body has a slight flinch and over time this flinch causes you to tire and feel exhausted. Your muscles tighten and you can't seem to relax.

Then all of a sudden you realize you can get up from the chair and walk away from the drip that has been driving you crazy! You can seek out a more desirable place to be.

Imagine what a relief you would feel to be away from that nagging drip. It can be as easy or as difficult as you choose and yes, you can choose.

You have the power to make changes in your life. All it takes is for YOU to make up your mind that you want better and then reach out and grab it! Reach for happy feeling thoughts. Reach for a sense of relief. Begin by taking the needle off the record of all the thoughts that drive you crazy. Bring peace into your current moment. Rest your brain and allow peace to drift in and imagine your body relaxing as you let go.

Just let go. Release your grip on that negative source of frustration. Release your grip on that confusion and open your mind to certainty. Start with what you know. I know I am sitting here right now, I know I am breathing right now. I know I want change in my life. I know that breath is the source of life. If I am not breathing I am not living and I can feel my breath. I know I can sit here for just a minute and focus my thoughts on my breathing, so I can experience a moment of relief. There is no right or wrong way to do this. The point is to feel relief.

As you do this and begin to experience a bit of relief, you may find that sense of relief very desirable. You may want to practice getting a moment of relief more and more and you find that you rather enjoy it. One moment of relief turns into two, and then 5 and so on. You may find that feeling a sense of relief is much easier than you thought and that is how you change your mind.

Change your mind, change your life.

Everything's gonna be alright

You know that moment when you are right in the middle of a panic and you can't feel your feet?

It's sorta like your breathing gets to going so rapidly, the circulation to your extremities slows to a point of no feeling. You almost have this feeling that everything is going to be ok, if only this one thing would just work out.

I had this feeling a couple weeks ago at the grocery store. I had recently gotten a new wallet for my purse, so I had reorganized everything in a way that seemed to make sense at the time, but once I was standing in the check out line all that sense went right out the window.

I was frantically looking for my debit card to pay for my groceries and I KNEW that it was in there somewhere, I just could not find it. The panic feeling was not helping me find it, so I took a few deep breaths and told myself, it will be just fine. You know your debit card is in here somewhere. The deep breaths helped me feel my feet again and what do you know I was able to find my debit card.

It was in a place that seemed totally logical. What do you know? I'm not crazy after all. The cashier was totally identifying with me and she was the one that mentioned the feeling of not bring able to feel her feet. It was spot on and as soon as she said that my awareness shifted and that is when I started taking the deep breaths and I calmed down.

It's amazing sometimes how the very simple words of one person can have such a profound affect on someone else and that concept right there is the main reason why I write this blog.

I want people to be aware that they have the power to change their lives. I want people to know that they can choose a more peaceful life. I want people to feel all the love there is to feel around them and more importantly within them. I want people to feel empowered. Don't get me wrong I benefit a great deal from all the writing and introspective work I do for this blog. This blog provides for me a huge sense of empowerment. All the things I write about are really a higher wisdom in myself that I allow to flow through me and I am learning as I am writing. In fact, I am a subscriber to my own blog.

When I write about something, the post usually goes out a few days later and sometimes even as much as a couple weeks later. So, time passes and with experience even just a couple of days worth of experiences my perspective changes. When I get up in the morning, the very first thing I do is, I read my blog. I surprise myself sometimes. I wonder where the hell did that clarity come from and I guess the answer is, from a higher wisdom.

A wisdom that knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that everything is going to be ok, even if for a moment I can't feel my feet. It will all be ok.

Reach out and grab it!!!

Sometimes you just have to reach out and grab it and claim it as your own. Set aside all the responsibilities and stresses of the day and enjoy that quiet moment you want with yourself on a perfect sunny afternoon. Even if it isn't sunny, you can close your eyes and pretend. Your mind is a very powerful tool. We just need to realize that we have control of our minds. We can stop crazy obsessive thoughts because we have the power to be in control. We just forget sometimes. It takes practice, but it is so worth it.

There is time for a moment or two of perfect peace. It can be so refreshing to put all the worries, stresses and concerns of the day aside for a simple little moment of peace. We live such hurried, gotta get this done, gotta get that done, lives that sometimes we trick ourselves into thinking we don't have time for peace, but if we would just try it for a moment and truly LET IT ALL go, we would probably be amazed what a sense of relief that one or two minutes of peace could provide.

A small sense of relief, just a tiny little shift in awareness can change your whole outlook on life, if only for a brief time. You can always take another moment and reconnect yourself to that sense of relief.

Imagine for a moment that you're going through your day and you experience a few stressful situations that kinda get your blood boiling a bit. This time instead of pushing it down and pushing through, you actually take time to pause. You give yourself a moment to process and come to terms with the source of the stress or get yourself to a place where you can let it go. Imagine how much better you might be able to handle the next thing or even better the next thing doesn't bug you as much.

Try it! The next time something bothers you, before you let your mind carry you off on some wild ride of possibilities take a moment to yourself and say, "I am going to take a deep breath. With this deep breath I will take a pause. With this pause I will create relief" and notice the sense of peace that fills your body.

Be patient with yourself. If this is a new concept for you, it is possible that you won't be a pro at it the first time you try. Treat yourself with kindness and try again. There is no need to pressure yourself.

Feel good moments

No matter where I am I can choose peace and the pace of my life. I could be on the side of a mountain sitting between a nice cozy fire and gentle flowing stream, looking up at the big beautiful sky or I could be on my way to work. Either can be peaceful and at my pace. I just have to decide and take the steps necessary for it to be so.

I am very content knowing that the source of my sense of peace is within me. I am always sitting at the control panel, I may not always be tweaking the dials and keeping myself on track, but I know that all the power to keep myself on track is right at my finger tips. So, when I do allow myself to veer off track a little and let go of the control, all I have to do is tweak a dial or two and I am back on my true path.

I really enjoy the feeling of transcending a challenging situation. I feel so empowered when I allow outside circumstances to be exactly what they are without letting them into my realm of peace. I came here to BE HERE and everyone else can make their choice to create peace or create stress for themselves, but I will be right here holding my focus on my happiness and my sense of being well.

I make is sound very easy, don't I? Well, it can be as easy or as hard as we make. I don't always make it so easy for myself. My ego resists letting go sometimes and I relive things that really don't benefit me, but I continue my efforts to make strides in a positive direction.

And one more thing about my true path, every little deviance from my perceived true path is really just MY true path. The deviances are always a learning swerve and sometimes not tending to the control panel can be really fun. I love riding the wave of no thought and just having fun. Dancing, singing, laughing my head off, giving hugs, connecting with people and being uncontrollably silly, it ALL feels so good.

Those feel good moments of no thought and just doing what feels good, keep me connected to the source within that allows peace to flow through my life.

That doesn't mean I live in La la land all the time, there is a certain amount of balance between this sense of euphoria and peace intermingled with accountability and being responsible for myself. It is a dance and I LOVE to dance.

Crazy alive

Wouldn't it be nice if you could give the gift of peace?

Maybe if it were as easy as gifting peace to someone, it would mean less to them than if they figured out their own path to their peace. I know doing the things I do to maintain my sense of peace is a hard line boundary for me. Meaning, my rituals that provide my sense of peace and positive attitude will not be sacrificed for anything.

Here's the perfect example.

Everyday that I drive to work I listen to a playlist of songs that really pump me up. I turn the volume up to. the. max. and I belt out those songs that I love so much like I'm standing on a stage in front of thousands of screaming fans. It feels so good to feel so alive.

I've got the windows down and the air is flowing. I've got people standing at the bus stop lookin' at me like, What in the world is this woman doing?

Do I care what they think? Heck no! Do I care if YOU think I can't sing! Hell no!!

I am doing this for me and I will not compromise this awesome feeling because someone "might" think I'm crazy. Who cares? Maybe I am crazy, but I'd rather be crazy alive than anything else.

Crazy alive is the gift of peace I give myself every chance I get.