Needing Relief?

There will be times in our lives when we feel overwhelmed, exhausted and emotionally beaten. When we are experiencing these things and are wanting to feel some relief, we must remember that we have a choice.

We can focus our attention on something in nature, like the trees, the sky and clouds and feel appreciation for the attention that Universal Source continually has upon us.

We can focus our energy and feel appreciation for the divine support we have, divine guidance, divine love and this will ease our suffering.

Suffering is a result of living disconnectedness. Yes, it is true, we are disconnected from happiness and good feelings sometimes, but we are always connected to our Universal Source.

Focusing on the eternal connection will bring us ease.

Relearning Self Soothing

I am applying myself just a little bit more every day to the process of being happy and maintaining my own happiness. I am talking further and further about the good feeling feelings that I am having. When I slip into recognizing something that doesn't feel good I am going to go easy on myself and encourage myself to let it go. I am going to soothe myself into a better feeling place.

"I just decided to chill more. I just decided to focus on the best feeling things in my day. I decided to get a better nights sleep. I decided to get up in the morning and get off on a better foot. I decided to direct my thoughts towards things that feel good. I've discovered what a magnificent world this is and I love this world and all the people in it. I am finding so many things in every day to praise and appreciate and I think that's what's made the difference for me." paraphrased from an Abraham-Hicks video on YouTube.

This is the difference I want in my life. There is nothing I can do about what you choose to focus upon and how that choice makes you to feel. I love you very much, but time and time again I come to this realization that I can not want it bad enough for you. You have to want the difference in your life for it to work for you, but I have every reason to be conscientious about my focus. I am making a promise to myself to focus on the best feeling thing I can find in my right here right now

I make healthy choices. I am alive and well and I am just allowing myself to get weller.

I'm Number One??? Thank you. :)

There are some slight nuances to being a positively focused person. For instance it takes only a moment to carefully consider the way you say things when communicating with others that will create your exact intention rather than accidentally offending someone. If you are trying to explain a situation and you're not quite sure how to say what you are intending without saying the wrong words, simply state this fact.

Personally, I would much rather announce my inability to think of the right words than use the wrong words and offend someone. Let's be perfectly clear here too. I'm not in any way, shape, or form implying that I am always able to manage this task. I have placed my foot quite firmly and completely in my mouth a time or two before and I find it to be uncomfortable and embarrassing. I'd rather not have to apologize and clarify that offending someone really was not my intention.

Recently though, I was in a couple of situations just exactly like this and in one circumstance I knew I was thinking of ALL the wrong words to say, so I simply stated the fact, "I can't think of the right words right now to correctly convey what I'm trying to say,..." it only took me a little bit more effort to explain this and it was totally fine.

In the other situation, I wasn't quite that cool. I actually told Keri while she was trying on new glasses that she could present herself with a little more flair. Yikes!!! Her appropriate response for the misunderstanding was to give me a single finger salute. I wasn't implying that she didn't have any flair. I was simply saying the possibility exists that she could, if she chose to, present herself with more flair. I apologized for the misunderstanding and clarified what I was intending and all was fine, but see what I mean?

Yes, it's a mindful choice to be considerate of others feelings and personally, I feel it's worth the effort. However, I also know that I am only human and do not expect myself to be perfect. So when I do insert my foot into my mouth, I am mindful of myself as well. I don't beat myself up and I chose to go easy on myself, because I know my heart and my intentions.

Inner Poise

Unless you decide to live like a Tibetan monk or Howard Hughes, you are going to come in contact with people. I guarantee those people live their lives very differently than you do. You cannot avoid people, therefore you will encounter contrast. It has taken quite some time for me to realize this, but I have completely come to terms with the idea that I have ZERO control over anything other than myself and my reactions. When I say I have completely come to terms with this idea, I mean in this very moment, because no one is perfect and I do have my days, my moments when I get flustered by what other people say and do.

However, it is my intention on a daily basis, sometimes a minute to minute basis, to let go of what I have no control over because it simply does not make me feel good. I have to remind myself, Let it go. It doesn't feel good to focus on it. But did you hear what she said to me? I know. Let it go. I can't believe the gall,... I know. Just let it go. But,... Let it go. Ok, I should let it go? Yes. Just take a deep breath and let it go.

So, you can see the challenge I find myself faced with is maintaining my good feeling self in the presence of something I find undesirable. I have noticed that when my attention is focused on something I don't like, that "something that I don't like", lingers and grows. It can ruin a WHOLE day. It is crystal clear that energy flows where attention goes. Resistance equals persistence. When you find yourself pulling against something unwanted, doesn't it seem to just get stronger? That's because your attention to it is like doing a bicep curl, ya see? The resistance of the weight makes your muscle stronger. Same with focusing on the negative OR the positive. Choices!!! We all have choices.

I really don't like this slow moving bumper to bumper traffic, but I love my car and I love this song and I love the sky I can see surrounding all of this traffic. It makes me feel good to look at the sky. The sky is so peaceful it reminds me of being by the ocean and the meditative lull of the waves. The rhythm of the waves rock me to a very peacful serene place. Every time I go to the beach I look at the sky and I take that feeling with me everywhere I go because no matter where I go, there is always sky.

But then there are the more challenging situations. I really don't like the way this person is behaving and I'm not crazy about the way this person is talking to me, but I do like the way I have control over my reactions. I like knowing that I can maintain my sense of calm and their actions belong to them. I like knowing I have space to be me and I can allow them to have their space to be them. I like how good it feels to remain calm. This external experience can not disturb the peace that dwells within my soul.

Peace out.

You will or you won't

I am having a very emotional morning. I have never felt so close to MY DREAMS COMING TRUE. I am the author of Apozitude and I am ready to be given the chance to infuse the people around me with an elevated mood and a chance at a better life. I am ready to shine the light on the possibilities. I am ready to speak about the fact that YOU are the creator of your own destiny. As I am typing these words I am overwhelmed with joy. Tears of joy are welling up in my eyes, because I am living the reality of the speach I am ready to give.

My life has never been better than it is right now. I believe I am dancing and playing with the Ultimate Creative Source. I am so happy because I believe I am living in the realm of all the answers. I have access to everything I will ever need and the truly amazing thing is that we all have this access. We simply have to allow it to flow. When I release resistance, nonsense just does not matter. I find myself saying, Well, that was unpleasant and unnecessary and it melts away. When resistance melts away, it creates space for clarity. When there is space for clarity it simply flows right into place. Arguments and disagreements that used to seem so important, now seem very inconsequential. It is no longer necesary to have a disagreement because there is no sense in it. We will ALWAYS have a difference of opinion because we are different people. We have different vaules. We will ALWAYS see things from different perspectives. ALWAYS.

Do we want to spend our always in dispute? Not me. I believe there is plenty of space for you to be right, and for me to be right as well, because that's just the way it is. I am so happy to know what I know and I am eager to share it with anyone that is ready to hear it. I'm not even about to worry if you're not ready to hear it. #1 because you being ready to hear it has nothing to do with my level of happiness and #2 You will be ready when you're ready. Until then, I'll be right here living happily ever after.

What's in a moment?

Life is full of reasons to smile. Life is full of reasons to celebrate. Life is full of reasons shut down. Life is full of reasons to point our fingers at others in blame for bad situations in life, but of all these things in life, ALL we truly HAVE is this moment. This moment holds so much promise. This moment holds so much hope.

In this moment YOU have a choice. You can focus on what brings a smile to your face and makes you want to get up and dance or you can turn your cheek on that opportunity and you can sit down and pout.

As for me, I love to smile. I love to hug. I love to dance. I love to sing. I love to laugh. I love my life because I make an intentional decision to focus on the things that make me happy. I'm not saying that I'm perfect at it and I am happy all the time. I, often, have to recommit to the decision to be happy, but I just keep on making that choice.

The more I choose to be happy, the smaller the not happy gaps get.

Yes! You have a choice.

I had the opportunity to spend some time with the Goodnesses this last Friday. Who are the Goodnesses? and Why do I call them the Goodnesses? I knew you were wondering so, I just thought I'd facilitate those questions for you. The Goodnesses are one of my very best friends little girls. Their names are Lexi who is 3 years old and Taylor, who'll be two in July.

Calling them The Goodnesses evolved from when Lexi was a baby. Every time Shanna would show someone her picture they would say, "Oh my goodness" and proceed with various forms of oohing and aahing about how adorable she was and still is. Naturally, Shanna began to call Lexi, "My Goodness" and when Taylor came along we had MG and MG2. So, in short I just started referring to them as The Goodnesses. See?

Why am I telling you about The Goodnesses? Good question. I did have a reason for bringing them up, so let's begin. After we had been playing at the PlayDate PDX indoor park, we went back to Shanna's house and the girls took their naps. Shanna had some errands to run, so I stayed at the house with the sleepy girls. Taylor was the first to wake up and she was hungry. I placed her in her high chair and got out the food Shanna had prepared for just such a situation. She had grapes cut into halves, chicken, cheese and tomatoes all cut into Taylor bite sized pieces. I got her a sippy cup with some water and we were sitting there face to face as she was eating.

We were playing the, let me tell what each bite I take is going to be game. Chicken? Yes, that's chicken. Gapes? Yes, you're eating grapes. She was laughing and it as completely adorable. Then she picked up her sippy cup for a drink and there are two places in the high chair tray to hold a cup. When she sat the cup down she placed it in the other cup holder.

She looked up at me inquisitively, as if she were checking in with me to see if it was ok to place the cup in a different place. I reassured her that it was fine and realized this was the perfect opportunity to introduce the concept that she has a choice. I said, Look at that Taylor you have options, as I pointed to the two cup holders in her tray. I pointed to one and said, Here's an option and then pointed to the other and said, here's another option. Then I asked can you say, I have a choice? She said it!!!

In her cute little abbreviated version she said, "I ava chce." Why does that thrill me so much? I'll tell you why!!! It is just the beginning for her to realize that she has choices in life and a little reminder for the rest of us. Whether we are trying to decide where to set our drinking glass or what we want to focus our feelings on today, we have a choice.

Life is tough and full of ups and downs. There are plenty of reasons to be sad, disappointed, hurt or angry and a myriad of other negative feelings, but how does it make you FEEL to be focused on the negative? I feel like it sucks!!! I don't like to feel down. Luckily, I have a choice and I am aware.

Teaching Taylor that she has a choice, even if it's only where to set her cup for now, in the long run, will be a tremendous coping skill in her life. Being aware of having a choice empowers you to take your life experience to the next level and the next and the next.

It's possible it could work for you too,...

It's hard to choose what to write about because there are so many wonderful things going on in my life right now. I know I can be nauseatingly positive sometimes and it can be a bit much for some, but I just love being happy and we all know happiness is a choice, right?

Wait a minute, did I hear someone say, NO or yeah right! That's ok, you don't have to believe it. Just ponder the idea for a moment though.

Maybe it is possible,...Maybe, just maybe if you think it might be possible the next time you get upset or frustrated you can consider changing your mind.

I mean why not? Who's it going to hurt? So, let's say you get upset about something, ok here we go,... Someone does something that you find to be disappointing, and you get frustrated. Why not just stop the vicious circle of thoughts regarding that person or situation and think about something else that makes you happy. When you think about something that makes you happy, like a baby's laughter or an adorable puppy, you can't help but smile. So you see, you can choose happiness. You are not a victim to your thoughts. You can change your mind and that is the totally awesome thing about our brains.

It sounds way too easy to work doesn't it? Just stop my thoughts? What do you mean? What's his name really disappointed me, how could he do that? Doesn't he know that I feel yadda yadda whatever? Well,...not always, in fact very rarely is someone else taking into consideration all of how you will feel about their actions. Even if they were to take your feelings into consideration, can they read your mind? Do they have your experiences? Are they going to be spot on when they do take your feelings into consideration? They have no clue all that you are exposed to in dealing with the details of your life, so even if they are kind enough to try, how could they ever accurately take your feelings into consideration?

I like to assume that everyone is doing the very best that they can given their current level of awareness. Is that true? I don't really know, but who cares! It makes me feel better and that is what I am here to do, feel better.

So you know what? I'm happy and I'm not going to apologize for that, I will say however that I have sympathy for you if you are frustrated with my happiness or my positive outlook. I have been frustrated before by someone else's clarity and happiness, but I soon realized that their clarity and happiness can only apply to them. So, I stopped being upset that they had clarity and happiness. Then I began to focus on my own. I'm only trying to have the best possible day I can. That is what I choose and because of that choice I have so many wonderful things going on in my life.

I am grateful I am aware of my choice.