Yup! It's a New Year

Happy New Year People. Yes, it is a new year and many think of this as a time to make change and start anew, but just remember it's not just a new year that provides us with this opportunity. Every day of our lives provides the same opportunity.

Any given moment you can make a change. You have the power to slow your momentum when its revving up in a less than desirable manner and create momentum in a positive direction. You have the power to focus on something better.

I'd like to take this opportunity to share with you some very profound wisdom that Keri shared with me yesterday regarding having a new puppy. I am sharing it with you because I think it applies to way more than just having a new puppy.

OK, are you ready? Here it is: Its hard when its hard and its fun when its fun, we just have to enjoy the fun times.

WHAT? No beer???

One of my favorite things in the whole wide world is when some one starts talking about a particular challenge in their life and they are totally ready to be inspired. You can totally tell when someone is ready to be inspired because every encouraging thing you say to them makes perfect sense to them and they are nodding in agreement the whole time you're talking to them.

I encountered this delightful situation this last week when one of my friends and co-workers started talking to me about starting a new eating regimen for the purpose of reversing her lactose intolerance. I can not speak to the validity of this cleanse because I've not done any research on the subject, but what I can speak to is this young woman's enthusiasm for making a positive change in her life.

Her name is Courtney and she is the one that has done the research. She is the one that has decided to make a change in her life. She was talking to me about the restrictions she has decided to place on herself in an effort to reverse her intolerance and was sharing some of the details. The next 5 months (starting after Christmas) she will cut out breads, sugars (even natural sugars (so no fruit), no beer or wine, and honestly, I don't remember all the details, because once she said, "No Beer", I kinda went into shock.

I'm kidding about the shock, but serious that I don't remember all the details. Once Courtney mentioned how hard it was going to be, I shifted into inspiration mode. I said, "It will be as hard or as easy as you decide to make it on yourself". She agreed and came back with, "That's right and if I don't ever do it. I'll be lactose intolerant for the rest of my life".

Yes, that's right. As long as we remain unwilling to make a shift, we can only hold ourselves in place of responsibility for the circumstances that exists in our lives.

We talked about situations that are out of our control, such as people bringing treats to the office. I told her about when I had a clarifying moment a few years ago. Some very sweet well intended person brought some yummy goodies to the office and I said to myself, "Who's the son of a bitch that keeps bringing in the goodies?" and then as if divine wisdom was whispering in my ear, this question came to me, "Well, who's the son of a bitch that keeps putting it in your mouth?"

Ahhh HA!!!

It was really a very cool conversation. I am very excited for Courtney and the change that she is planning to make for herself. 5 months really is not that long at all. I believe in you. I am not saying there won't be challenging moments, but with the right mind set it's going to be much easier. It's all about choices and how much you really want the change you are seeking. You have control over yourself, your thoughts and your actions.

I believe with the right attitude and desire any one of us could make any change we desire for our lives. We all have the power to make it as easy as we'd like for it to be.

Spider Man Flipped Me Off

One day this last week Keri sent me a text at work. She was checking in to see if our schedules might mesh up and allow us to meet somewhere for a beer and maybe some dinner out. We are making attempts to take advantage of the opportunity we have to be free of puppy responsibility.

We are very much looking forward to having that responsibility again, but we also know the limits it will put on our evenings for a while. Anyway, I thought it would work on that particular day, so we made arrangements to meet at Lucky Lab Pizza in Multnomah Village.

I used to work in Multnomah Village. On my way to meet Keri, I ended up taking a route I used many times in the past. On my way there I was reminded of something that happened to me on that route to work many years ago.

It was during the school year and I was behind a school bus. The school bus turned on the same street I needed to turn on and we were on a single lane two way road, so I was going to be following this bus for awhile, at least until one of our paths changed.

It was October, the reason I remember this is because that school bus was full of little Spider Men, Princesses, Super Men and anything else you could imagine. Probably a Ninja Turtle or two in the mix as well. The one little guy I remember was probably about 7 years old and decked out in a spiffy Spider Man costume. The reason he made such an impression on me is because he was having such a good time. He was laughing it up and sticking his tongue out at me. Laughing it up, waving good bye with his class mates. Which I was fine with and was not responding at all.

Then he pushed a little further. Laughing with his friends and flipped me off. Yes, that's right. Spider Man flipped me off. I didn't respond to that either, and as the bus was turning into a neighborhood, he waved some more as if to say, "Good bye sucker. I'm getting off Scott free". He clearly thought they were turning off my route. I smiled at him and do you know what I did? I followed that bus until it's next stop. Did I have to turn off my regular route to work? You bet I did, but the next stop that bus made I pulled up right behind it. I got out of my little truck and walked myself right up to that bus.

I stood next to the door until the bus driver opened the door. Then I leaned in and said, "I thought you might like to know you have a little Spider Man on the back of your bus giving people the one finger salute out your back window". She looked up towards the ceiling of the bus where a mirror was located and yelled to the back of the bus, "JIMMY!!! GET UP HERE TO THE FRONT OF THE BUS".

As he was approaching the front, she explained to me that she has had quite a bit of trouble with this little guy. She was grateful I pulled over. She had him remove his mask and apologize to me. Of course I have no way of knowing what became of Jimmy the ornery Spider Man, but my hope is that he realized, whatever life has in store for him, that he never forgets that with great power comes great responsibility.

He might have felt like he was hot stuff getting away with the powerful gesture of flipping me off, but I was not about to let him get away without being held responsible for his actions. I calmly let him know that was not acceptable behavior.

You know it feels sooo good,...

I want to write a little more about clarity. Clarity is very very quickly becoming one of my favorite subjects. Wouldn't it be cool if clarity were a subject that was offered in schools? Hi Johnny what's your favorite subject in school this year? A first grader responds,... Clarity. WOW!!! There's some powerful imagery flowing through my brain right now. That is definitely subject and course of study I would support,... Let me rephrase,... Clarity is definitely a subject and course of study that I DO support and foster.

I am a student of clarity, a teacher of clarity and an observer of clarity even. I AM CLARITY. I have never felt it stronger than I am feeling it right this very second as my fingers are dancing back and forth across this keyboard and creating words on a screen that will create even more clarity as the words are scanned by all of the eyes of the people who are ready to receive the clarity.

When you are in the realm of clarity,... you know what you KNOW and you know what you WANT. When you are feeling the POWER of clarity and it is a strong flowing energy. You know,... You have felt it before. So, you know when you feel that powerfully clear feeling that you are where you are and it is the absolute perfect place for you to be. Things just seem to line up for you, as if you were sitting at an all-inclusive, 100% paid in full, buffet of all your wanted things. Yippee!!!

I announced to Keri in the car on our way to the coast this weekend that I was looking for a piece of wood. I said I am letting you know so you can keep your eye out and help me find this piece of wood. So, I described this piece of wood, I want it to be raw and natural. I want the bark to be intact. I'd like it to be big enough to have six rocks laying on top of it. I wanted it to be like slicing off a section of a log so kinda like a wooden disk with bark all the way around the outer edge.

I swear to my clarity that within 48 hours of speaking that aloud, I was walking away from a small town Farmer's Market with said piece of wood in my hand. It was gifted to me from one of the vendors who used the wood as a base for her small, seemingly, hand crafted clay pots in which she planted the cutest little succulent plants. I asked if she sold these pieces of wood and she replied simply, no. I clarified, Could I pay you for this piece of wood and she said, "Oh, no. I have this stuff laying all over the place you can have it."

Just for the sake of clarity let me state that my mantra for this whole weekend has been something we were asked at the opening of the Abraham-Hicks seminar we attended last weekend: Are you knowing what you are wanting? YES!

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="1024"] This is proof, not that I needed proof, but there it is for any of you that did need it. :)[/caption]

Absolute Power

Sometimes I find my self stuck in a rut. Usually that "stuck" feeling is directly associated with incessant thoughts that plague me with heavy feelings of hopelessness, guilt, fear or a myriad of other negative feelings. The truly amazing thing about that last sentence is the word thoughts and I will tell you why.

We as humans have ABSOLUTE power over our thoughts. Stop for a moment and think about this concept. You. have. absolute. power. over. your. thoughts. You may think you don't, but think about a time you've said to yourself, I just can't think about that right now, and what do you do? You change your focus and you move on to something else. Your mind may drift back into those nagging thoughts that bring you down, but time and time again, whether you are aware of it or not you shift your focus to something else, so you can proceed with your day.

You. have. absolute. power. over. your. thoughts.

The next step is to hone that skill of putting thoughts aside. Right now, it may be that your ability to set thoughts aside is like playing catch with yourself. Let's pretend for a moment, you have an imaginary version of yourself and this imaginary version of yourself can hold your nagging thoughts for a bit while your real self can let go of those thoughts long enough to tend to some of your daily tasks. Then your imaginary self gets tired of holding the nagging thoughts, so they pass the thoughts back on to you. You sort of go back and forth tossing these nagging thoughts back and forth and back and forth, wearing you both out in the process. Contemplate the energy it takes to refocus every time you toss off those nagging thoughts.

Now, think about your ability to toss off those nagging thoughts. Imagine you have a coach working with you, observing you, and watching for indications of taking on those thoughts again. Then your coach stops you in the middle of the back and forth game and says, "Hey, real self you know you don't have to reach out and catch those nagging thoughts your imaginary self is tossing back at you." You pause. You look at your imaginary self and refocus without taking the thoughts back. It's kinda like the idea that you can't play tug of war with someone if they don't pick up the other end of the rope. Right?

So, the whole point is to let go. Let go of hopelessness. Let go of guilt. Let go of fear and let go of that which you hold no control over. How do you do this? You focus on what you do have control over and that my friend, is your thoughts.

Remember, you have absolute control over your thoughts. Now, I DARE YOU to try to make ME think of something I don't want to think about. You can't do it, because I have absolute control over what I think about. I choose peace. I choose happiness. I choose love. I choose freedom.

Did you know that I can be a bitch?

Have you ever found yourself resenting someone for the way they "made" you feel? I know the feeling. It kinda feels like, I can NOT believe you just said or did what you just said or did. Don't you know that when you say or do that, it hurts my feelings?

Well, guess what! When we do that we are giving others way too much power as we focus our attention on the way others choose to behave. We have ABSOLUTELY no control over the way others act/react or speak. What we do have control over is our own minds. Our own behavior. Our own words. I suggest slowing your breathing down and focus on breathing from your belly.

I am learning that I tend to shut down when I get in a situation of conflict. My heart starts racing and my blood flows quickly to my heart hindering words to form in my brain. I have been practicing this belly breathing when presented with a situation of conflict and have found that paying attention to my breath keeps my heart rate down and oxygen flowing to my brain. Oxygen in my brain helps me to clearly articulate my feelings. Yes, even feelings that could possible create conflict.

I have for YEARS been paralyzed in situations of conflict and I have gone to great lengths to avoid conflict because I have hated that feeling of not knowing what to say and not knowing how I felt. I have unconsciously shrugged my shoulders in doubt of knowing how I truly felt. This insecure doubt has created resentment and that resentment turns a passive people-pleasing person, such as myself, into an aggressive angry bitch. I do not like that reaction at all. It goes against everything I believe in.

I believe in clarity. I believe in communication. I believe in being fair. I believe in love and mutual respect. I believe in peace. An aggressive angry bitch, which most of you have never seen in me, goes against all of those beliefs.

I am very grateful to be learning methods for getting beyond feelings of insecurity. I am grateful to be leaving the end of the spectrum that is weighed heavy with passivity. Grateful to be moving towards assertiveness, rather than jumping right over it into aggression.

I am taking responsibility for my happiness and my sense of feeling fulfilled. I am a confident grown woman that can calmly use her words to get her needs met. I am happy to be open to growth. I am eager to go where ever I need to go emotionally, no matter how uncomfortable it may be, to continue on this path of growth and happiness. I believe it is much less scary that I ever thought it would be.

Happy to me and happy to be moving beyond feelings of resentment.