Tickle Fight Safe Words

When I was a little girl, I loved to play the tickle game with my daddy. He would tickle me as much and more than I wanted. You know how when you're being tickled and you're having so much fun, laughing and wrestling around and then you playfully start begging for them to stop, but it goes on for a little while longer. Then you can't breathe and it gets to be more serious. Well, we had rules for just such an occasion. I would breathlessly yell at him to stop it as I was laughing my little guts out. He would ask, "Stomp it?" and continue to tickle me and as I was gasping for air, I'd holler, "No! Daddy!!! STOP!!!".

The other rule was whenever I said, "above the line", he was supposed to only tickle me above my belly button, because I was SO terribly ticklish on my legs and feet that I couldn't handle it below the line. So, in theory he was supposed to tickle my ribs or neck. When I was laughing so hard that I couldn't breath, I would yell, "Above the line" and he would keep tickling me and jokingly ask, "Buff the Lion?". I LOVED it and it really pissed me off at the same time.

I still love tickle fights. Keri and I have tickle fights sometimes and she ALWAYS wins. She is a little longer limbed than me and this adds leverage to her advantage. The differences between tickling with Keri and my Dad are many, but the main things to me are that my Dad was way bigger than me, MUCH stronger and Keri is more respectful of my demands for air.

I do miss my Dad sometimes and I'm glad to have fun memories with him, but my tickle fights with him are a mixed bag of feelings. Tickle fights with Keri over the years taught me a great deal about respect. Garrison and I used to have tickle fights too and I admit that I tickled him longer that he wanted me to at times. It wasn't until I had tickle fights with Keri that I was able to establish a rule with Garrison during our tickle fights that actually worked.

We agreed that part of the fun was to yell, "Stop it!" as someone was tickling you, but when you REALLY wanted them to stop the ultimate STOP phrase was, "Respect my wishes". These words carried over into other areas of our lives and it's really amazing how these three little words ended up being so empowering, not only to Garrison, but to myself as well.

When phrased is such a way, how could you do anything but respect someone's wishes? This is not to be confused with the fact that I always did what Garrison wanted, because I certainly did not. However, it did frame our relationship with respect and I did always attempt to be respectful of his feelings. Respect is a very valuable quality to have in any relationship. I think it's overlooked sometimes in reference to children because we as adults think we know what is best for them, but what could be better for them than respecting their wishes whenever possible and being a living example of a quality we hope they carry forward into all of their relationships. Especially the relationship we're developing with them this very moment.

I got us a 2 for 1 deal

Wanna play pretend a little bit? C'mon it'll be fun. Oh goodie, I knew you'd wanna play. OK, pretend to close your eyes and picture this in your mind as your eyes flow over the words. Picture a pristine blue sky with the perfect contrast of a green rolling grassy hillside. The hill is sparsely dotted with fruit trees and moderately dotted with wild flowers. Meadering along the base of this rich grassy hill is a wide dirt road. Beautiful, isn't it? So peacful. There's probably even a small babbling brook running along side the road.

Ok, now pretend on that dirt road you see a horse pulling a wooden wagon with big wooden wheels with a pioneer looking farmer at the reins. If you pay close attention you can hear the rhythm of thuds the horses' hooves are making against the dirt and the tiny little squeak's the wheels and wood are making as it is being pulled by the horse. I can even see the dark worn leather of the man's boots and hear the beautiful squeak of the leather harness and reins. Can you hear the trickle of the brook? Doesn't imagining all of those details of such a simple thing totally whisk you away?

As I laid out the details for you to imagine, didn't you totally forget about your to do list? That was just an added bonus, because my original point was to have you visualize the man holding a carrot out in front of the horse. Why? To prove a point and in the fun of describing what I wanted you to picture I got us a two for one deal.

The original plan was to create an image in your mind of a man and a horse on a path. The horse doesn't really know where they are headed, but he is focused on that carrot because getting that carrot is what makes him happy. He just keeps his focus on what makes him happy and he places all of his trust in guidance he receives from the man. He knows he will get a carrot, and until he does he maintains that focus.

This is what we have to do, you see. We know what we want, and we don't know exactly how we're going to get there. As we maintain our focus upon the things that make us happy, the path to our destination will be revealed as we round each corner.

The bonus was learning about following your bliss, and that is what I was doing in describing the hillside. This is exactly why writing is so fun for me because it's kinda like painting, but with words and in writing, I feel I can reach a broader audience with deeper meaning than I ever achieved with my paintings. Positively affecting others lives is my purpose. I am living my purpose and I am LOVING it. It is so fulfilling. I haven't made one red cent on this blog in the last year and that never was my intention anyway, but I have never felt more abundance in my life. Thank you Apozitude.

You want to change the world???

I read a speech last week that Naval Admiral William H. McRaven gave to the graduating class of 2014 from the University of Texas. The speech was based on 10 lessons he learned in the basic SEAL training program. He shared these lessons with the graduating class because the University's slogan is,

"What starts here changes the world."

Admiral McRaven said, "I have to admit, I kinda' like it" So, he offered these 10 lessons with hope they would have value as the students moved forward. It was very compelling. I liked it so much, I read the speech, then listened to him give the speech and even took pictures of the words he spoke. You might say, I loved it!!!

I was tempted to list the 10 lessons here, but I changed my mind. I'll link the speech to this blog and you can decide for yourself what your favorite part will be. I loved the whole thing, but the part that really stuck out in my mind was lesson #7.



I LOVE the image this created in my mind. This is what you have to do to bullies and once you do "punch a shark in the snout" meaning stand up to a bully they really do swim off. The reason is the same now as when I was teaching this lesson to Garrison in the second grade. Bullies are trying to get a reaction out of you and when you stand up to them they fall away as if they're made of ash.

It can be scary, but you must remember, It is going to work out...and if it doesn't, then you need to move on!