This one seemed worth reposting. I'll share it with you now.
Showing posts with label respect. Show all posts
Showing posts with label respect. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Worthy of Sharing
I posted a meme to my Facebook the other day and I don't post meme's very often. My experience has been when I see a barrage of those well intended messages and read one after another they become less significant.
This one seemed worth reposting. I'll share it with you now.
This one seemed worth reposting. I'll share it with you now.
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Tickle Fight Safe Words
When I was a little girl, I loved to play the tickle game with my daddy. He would tickle me as much and more than I wanted. You know how when you're being tickled and you're having so much fun, laughing and wrestling around and then you playfully start begging for them to stop, but it goes on for a little while longer. Then you can't breathe and it gets to be more serious. Well, we had rules for just such an occasion. I would breathlessly yell at him to stop it as I was laughing my little guts out. He would ask, "Stomp it?" and continue to tickle me and as I was gasping for air, I'd holler, "No! Daddy!!! STOP!!!".
The other rule was whenever I said, "above the line", he was supposed to only tickle me above my belly button, because I was SO terribly ticklish on my legs and feet that I couldn't handle it below the line. So, in theory he was supposed to tickle my ribs or neck. When I was laughing so hard that I couldn't breath, I would yell, "Above the line" and he would keep tickling me and jokingly ask, "Buff the Lion?". I LOVED it and it really pissed me off at the same time.
I still love tickle fights. Keri and I have tickle fights sometimes and she ALWAYS wins. She is a little longer limbed than me and this adds leverage to her advantage. The differences between tickling with Keri and my Dad are many, but the main things to me are that my Dad was way bigger than me, MUCH stronger and Keri is more respectful of my demands for air.
I do miss my Dad sometimes and I'm glad to have fun memories with him, but my tickle fights with him are a mixed bag of feelings. Tickle fights with Keri over the years taught me a great deal about respect. Garrison and I used to have tickle fights too and I admit that I tickled him longer that he wanted me to at times. It wasn't until I had tickle fights with Keri that I was able to establish a rule with Garrison during our tickle fights that actually worked.
We agreed that part of the fun was to yell, "Stop it!" as someone was tickling you, but when you REALLY wanted them to stop the ultimate STOP phrase was, "Respect my wishes". These words carried over into other areas of our lives and it's really amazing how these three little words ended up being so empowering, not only to Garrison, but to myself as well.
When phrased is such a way, how could you do anything but respect someone's wishes? This is not to be confused with the fact that I always did what Garrison wanted, because I certainly did not. However, it did frame our relationship with respect and I did always attempt to be respectful of his feelings. Respect is a very valuable quality to have in any relationship. I think it's overlooked sometimes in reference to children because we as adults think we know what is best for them, but what could be better for them than respecting their wishes whenever possible and being a living example of a quality we hope they carry forward into all of their relationships. Especially the relationship we're developing with them this very moment.
The other rule was whenever I said, "above the line", he was supposed to only tickle me above my belly button, because I was SO terribly ticklish on my legs and feet that I couldn't handle it below the line. So, in theory he was supposed to tickle my ribs or neck. When I was laughing so hard that I couldn't breath, I would yell, "Above the line" and he would keep tickling me and jokingly ask, "Buff the Lion?". I LOVED it and it really pissed me off at the same time.
I still love tickle fights. Keri and I have tickle fights sometimes and she ALWAYS wins. She is a little longer limbed than me and this adds leverage to her advantage. The differences between tickling with Keri and my Dad are many, but the main things to me are that my Dad was way bigger than me, MUCH stronger and Keri is more respectful of my demands for air.
I do miss my Dad sometimes and I'm glad to have fun memories with him, but my tickle fights with him are a mixed bag of feelings. Tickle fights with Keri over the years taught me a great deal about respect. Garrison and I used to have tickle fights too and I admit that I tickled him longer that he wanted me to at times. It wasn't until I had tickle fights with Keri that I was able to establish a rule with Garrison during our tickle fights that actually worked.
We agreed that part of the fun was to yell, "Stop it!" as someone was tickling you, but when you REALLY wanted them to stop the ultimate STOP phrase was, "Respect my wishes". These words carried over into other areas of our lives and it's really amazing how these three little words ended up being so empowering, not only to Garrison, but to myself as well.
When phrased is such a way, how could you do anything but respect someone's wishes? This is not to be confused with the fact that I always did what Garrison wanted, because I certainly did not. However, it did frame our relationship with respect and I did always attempt to be respectful of his feelings. Respect is a very valuable quality to have in any relationship. I think it's overlooked sometimes in reference to children because we as adults think we know what is best for them, but what could be better for them than respecting their wishes whenever possible and being a living example of a quality we hope they carry forward into all of their relationships. Especially the relationship we're developing with them this very moment.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Just say NO to the circus and say yes to elephants.
At home from work sick today and I managed to make myself even more sick. Although I feel much much better I found a documentary narrated by Lily Tomlin called An Apology to Elephants. I cried as I watched how baby elephants were taken from their families, knowing how family oriented these majestic creatures are it was utterly heartbreaking. The male elephants in a natural habitat stay with their mothers until they are about 14, however the female elephants stay with their mothers their entire lives. Unless they are stolen from their families and shipped to buyers for the circus and as long as people are buying tickets to the circus these and all the other animals will continue to be abused. I beg you to all to stop going to the circus.
I vow to NEVER attend a circus again. I can not believe the horrible tactics the trainers use to get these poor gentle giants to do the circus tricks. They should not be called trainers, they should be called abusers. They use bull hooks, ropes, chains, beatings and fear to get the elephants to those head stands, balancing tricks and all the other tricks they do in a circus setting. It breaks my heart to see such abuse.
The abuse, as you would imagine causes psychological damage to these gentle giants turning them into agressive confused tormented souls. On occasion when a "trainer" accidently drops their bull hook, the elephants see that as an opportunity. Once that weapon is on the ground the elephants have been known to attack and kill the "trainers". I believe it's a justified killing. Those "trainers" torture those poor elephants. Stabbing them in very sensitive areas to push them away or make them walk and using the hook end of the bull hook to pull them in the direction they want them to go.
It is not just the "training" that is so awful and abusive, it is also the conditions in which the elephants have to live in captivity. It is not living at all, merely existing when an elephant is chained in one place without the ability to socialize, lay down or walk around. In a natural environment, elephants must walk hundreds of miles sometimes to get food and water and that is what their bodies are made for, not standing chained in one place for 19-26 hours and even more when being transported from one location to another. Sometimes 60-100 hours. That is awful. Most of the time they are standing in their own urine and excrement for those hours causing horrible sores and disease of their feet.
What have I really learned from watching this documentary? Well, I'll tell you, besides the fact that I don't really want to go to the circus any more because I am horrified by the way animals are treated in that environment, I have also learned that I don't really like the way I feel when I watch such horrible things. I wasn't going to the circus anyway, but perhaps this blog will be read by someone that doesn't know how horribly animals are treated in the circus and it will inspire them to forgo and future circus attendance. Before long the demand for such performances will diminish to the point that it won't be profitable enough to have a circus anymore. I only hope that it happens before the elephants become extinct.
I vow to NEVER attend a circus again. I can not believe the horrible tactics the trainers use to get these poor gentle giants to do the circus tricks. They should not be called trainers, they should be called abusers. They use bull hooks, ropes, chains, beatings and fear to get the elephants to those head stands, balancing tricks and all the other tricks they do in a circus setting. It breaks my heart to see such abuse.
The abuse, as you would imagine causes psychological damage to these gentle giants turning them into agressive confused tormented souls. On occasion when a "trainer" accidently drops their bull hook, the elephants see that as an opportunity. Once that weapon is on the ground the elephants have been known to attack and kill the "trainers". I believe it's a justified killing. Those "trainers" torture those poor elephants. Stabbing them in very sensitive areas to push them away or make them walk and using the hook end of the bull hook to pull them in the direction they want them to go.
It is not just the "training" that is so awful and abusive, it is also the conditions in which the elephants have to live in captivity. It is not living at all, merely existing when an elephant is chained in one place without the ability to socialize, lay down or walk around. In a natural environment, elephants must walk hundreds of miles sometimes to get food and water and that is what their bodies are made for, not standing chained in one place for 19-26 hours and even more when being transported from one location to another. Sometimes 60-100 hours. That is awful. Most of the time they are standing in their own urine and excrement for those hours causing horrible sores and disease of their feet.
What have I really learned from watching this documentary? Well, I'll tell you, besides the fact that I don't really want to go to the circus any more because I am horrified by the way animals are treated in that environment, I have also learned that I don't really like the way I feel when I watch such horrible things. I wasn't going to the circus anyway, but perhaps this blog will be read by someone that doesn't know how horribly animals are treated in the circus and it will inspire them to forgo and future circus attendance. Before long the demand for such performances will diminish to the point that it won't be profitable enough to have a circus anymore. I only hope that it happens before the elephants become extinct.
Friday, December 6, 2013
Warning! Don't ruffle my feathers!!
A few weeks ago we had a little fun adventure trekking up to Seattle to get married. It was easily one of the best weekends of my life. We spent a few days up there and the day after our wedding we were checking out some shops and walking around. We had Waffles, our golden retriever, with us. Yes, he went too. He really wanted to go.
After we ate lunch, we decided to go over to Volunteer park and walk around a bit. We discovered a pretty cool cemetery right next to the park, so we walked around to the entrance. Lake view cemetery, hmmm. Let's check it out.
I'm not sure why we end up in cemeteries so often, I guess because it is kinda cool to read the tombstones and think about the lives of people from hundreds of years ago. We always walk around in a very respectful manner and Waffles, if you don't know him, is the best behaved dog ever!!! I may be a little biased. Maybe,...a little bit,...not really. He really is the best!
Don't get me started on how awesome my dog is,....but you could check out his Facebook page if you are doubting his awesomeness. (Waffles Bear) Really!! I'm not kidding,..
Anyway,... I digress, we were just walking along, the three of us, minding our own business, and I mean literally, Waffles was taking care of business and Keri was tending to his business, when this vagrant looking woman starts yelling and pointing at us.
She yells, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE YOUR DAMN DOG OUT OF HERE AND QUIT LETTING HIM SHIT ON PEOPLE'S GRAVES? THERE'S A SIGN POSTED, NO DOGS ALLOWED!!!
#1 He wasn't doing that, (well he was pooping, but not on someone's grave, we have more respect than that)
#2 Keri acknowledged her and quite calmly I might add. Keri said and I quote, Your opinion has be heard, thank you
#3 we, actually, did NOT see the sign
Then the butt-in-ski woman yells back at Keri, YEAH RIGHT!!! WHY DON'T YOU AND YOUR DAMN DOG LEAVE AND TAKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND WITH YOU!!!
Honestly, I am usually looking away and trying to be as small as possible when words start flying around, but this time, it was like a switch went off in me and I started walking towards her at a quick pace with my index finger waving in the air, Excuse me!!! Excuse me!!! I'll have you know that SHE is my WIFE!!! And I don't appreciate your,...rude,... comments!!!
It was way more bad ass in my mind,...
As I was approaching her, she was walking away and yelling back at me that she was going to call the cops. Keri got my attention, Angel! Angel! Let it go!
Whew!!! That pissed me off! She could have approached us in a reasonable manner and said politely, excuse me, maybe you didn't see it, but there is a sign posted at the entrance indicating there are no dogs allowed.
We are reasonable people we would have thanked her and made our way to the exit!! But I don't really think her intention was to create a solution or come to a resolution. Clearly, someone pissed in her Post Toasties and she was set on paying it forward!!!
It was a feather ruffling experience for sure and Keri and I were talking it out and attempting to calm each other down. We decided we weren't going to let some random aggressive stranger ruin our wedding weekend and we agreed we would let it go. Although, it did feel pretty amazing to me, to step up and defend my wife. I keep wondering if it was some kind of spousal instinct that kicked in after the I do's.
A little while later and after a bit of reflection Keri says, I just thought of the perfect response. I could have said, isn't it almost 4o'clock, you'd better hurry up, I hear the shelters fill up quick! She claimed she was going to put that in her arsenal for future use. Curious about this arsenal of hers, I asked, What else you got in that arsenal of yours?
She turned and looked at me with the cutest little dead pan look ever and said, That's it so far.
We had a pretty good laugh. That's right!!! We are pretty tough! So just watch it!!! Don't mess with us because we will lash back with our 1 weapon arsenal and tell you how much we don't appreciate your disrespect!!!!
So look out!!!!
After we ate lunch, we decided to go over to Volunteer park and walk around a bit. We discovered a pretty cool cemetery right next to the park, so we walked around to the entrance. Lake view cemetery, hmmm. Let's check it out.
I'm not sure why we end up in cemeteries so often, I guess because it is kinda cool to read the tombstones and think about the lives of people from hundreds of years ago. We always walk around in a very respectful manner and Waffles, if you don't know him, is the best behaved dog ever!!! I may be a little biased. Maybe,...a little bit,...not really. He really is the best!
Don't get me started on how awesome my dog is,....but you could check out his Facebook page if you are doubting his awesomeness. (Waffles Bear) Really!! I'm not kidding,..
Anyway,... I digress, we were just walking along, the three of us, minding our own business, and I mean literally, Waffles was taking care of business and Keri was tending to his business, when this vagrant looking woman starts yelling and pointing at us.
She yells, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE YOUR DAMN DOG OUT OF HERE AND QUIT LETTING HIM SHIT ON PEOPLE'S GRAVES? THERE'S A SIGN POSTED, NO DOGS ALLOWED!!!
#1 He wasn't doing that, (well he was pooping, but not on someone's grave, we have more respect than that)
#2 Keri acknowledged her and quite calmly I might add. Keri said and I quote, Your opinion has be heard, thank you
#3 we, actually, did NOT see the sign
Then the butt-in-ski woman yells back at Keri, YEAH RIGHT!!! WHY DON'T YOU AND YOUR DAMN DOG LEAVE AND TAKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND WITH YOU!!!
Honestly, I am usually looking away and trying to be as small as possible when words start flying around, but this time, it was like a switch went off in me and I started walking towards her at a quick pace with my index finger waving in the air, Excuse me!!! Excuse me!!! I'll have you know that SHE is my WIFE!!! And I don't appreciate your,...rude,... comments!!!
It was way more bad ass in my mind,...
As I was approaching her, she was walking away and yelling back at me that she was going to call the cops. Keri got my attention, Angel! Angel! Let it go!
Whew!!! That pissed me off! She could have approached us in a reasonable manner and said politely, excuse me, maybe you didn't see it, but there is a sign posted at the entrance indicating there are no dogs allowed.
We are reasonable people we would have thanked her and made our way to the exit!! But I don't really think her intention was to create a solution or come to a resolution. Clearly, someone pissed in her Post Toasties and she was set on paying it forward!!!
It was a feather ruffling experience for sure and Keri and I were talking it out and attempting to calm each other down. We decided we weren't going to let some random aggressive stranger ruin our wedding weekend and we agreed we would let it go. Although, it did feel pretty amazing to me, to step up and defend my wife. I keep wondering if it was some kind of spousal instinct that kicked in after the I do's.
A little while later and after a bit of reflection Keri says, I just thought of the perfect response. I could have said, isn't it almost 4o'clock, you'd better hurry up, I hear the shelters fill up quick! She claimed she was going to put that in her arsenal for future use. Curious about this arsenal of hers, I asked, What else you got in that arsenal of yours?
She turned and looked at me with the cutest little dead pan look ever and said, That's it so far.
We had a pretty good laugh. That's right!!! We are pretty tough! So just watch it!!! Don't mess with us because we will lash back with our 1 weapon arsenal and tell you how much we don't appreciate your disrespect!!!!
So look out!!!!
Monday, November 18, 2013
Puppy love, puppy respect
I am a person that keeps my word. Keri and I made an agreement with our golden retriever, Waffles, that we will always honor.
The agreement that we made with him is, that we understand he is an "only dog" and we will always keep it that way for him. He just turned 11 in July (approximately 66) and we would never want to mess with his golden years.
A couple months ago we went to the local farmers market to pick up a few things. As we walked to the market, we stumbled upon a group of people standing around a canopy tent with about 4 or 5 of the most adorable little puppies you have ever seen.
All of them, different breeds. They were so cute, we had to stop and love on them. We met a Frenchie, a Corgi, a Weinner dog and I believe there were a couple more that I don't really remember because I was busy falling in love with Nemo.
The sweetest little cuddle bunny of the group. He was the Frenchie puppy. As I was standing there chatting with the woman, morning coffee in one hand, petting Nemo with the other, the gal said, here hand me your coffee. Then she proceeded to hand Nemo over to me, as she was telling us about how snugly this guy was. Once he was in my arms, my heart just melted.
Before I knew it I was laying in the grass on my back with little Nemo sprawled out on my belly. He just camped out there like I was his momma. Sweetly nuzzling my chin and neck. Oh! What a lover that little Nemo was and I very easily could have scooped him right up and taken him home with me, but I knew that was not an option. There was no discussion what so ever between Keri and I. We knew Nemo was irresistible and he would have his forever home and we also knew we had our forever home puppy already.
That's right Waffles Bear, you are our only puppy and we love and respect you enough to keep our word. You shall have the sweetest and most relaxing of golden years a handsome devil like you deserves. Mommies love you.
The agreement that we made with him is, that we understand he is an "only dog" and we will always keep it that way for him. He just turned 11 in July (approximately 66) and we would never want to mess with his golden years.
A couple months ago we went to the local farmers market to pick up a few things. As we walked to the market, we stumbled upon a group of people standing around a canopy tent with about 4 or 5 of the most adorable little puppies you have ever seen.
All of them, different breeds. They were so cute, we had to stop and love on them. We met a Frenchie, a Corgi, a Weinner dog and I believe there were a couple more that I don't really remember because I was busy falling in love with Nemo.
The sweetest little cuddle bunny of the group. He was the Frenchie puppy. As I was standing there chatting with the woman, morning coffee in one hand, petting Nemo with the other, the gal said, here hand me your coffee. Then she proceeded to hand Nemo over to me, as she was telling us about how snugly this guy was. Once he was in my arms, my heart just melted.
Before I knew it I was laying in the grass on my back with little Nemo sprawled out on my belly. He just camped out there like I was his momma. Sweetly nuzzling my chin and neck. Oh! What a lover that little Nemo was and I very easily could have scooped him right up and taken him home with me, but I knew that was not an option. There was no discussion what so ever between Keri and I. We knew Nemo was irresistible and he would have his forever home and we also knew we had our forever home puppy already.
That's right Waffles Bear, you are our only puppy and we love and respect you enough to keep our word. You shall have the sweetest and most relaxing of golden years a handsome devil like you deserves. Mommies love you.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Control, alt., delete
Sometimes I just wish I were a computer. Yes, wouldn't it be nice to just take a command, execute a task and deliver results with zero emotion. I would have alerts pop up on my forehead when I needed upgrades or changes and if those were not met, I would just, shut down.
As a computer it would be so easy to say, I can't handle any more tasks, without the required upgrade. You must respond to my request and I simply do not care if you do or not. I will be happy to work or play with you once, you have met my request, but until then I will just sit here cold, dead and uncaring. You will be required to take action right now to make the appropriate changes, if you want to continue to work or play together.
Then when you decided to push me further and I can not possibly handle any more shit, I'd just throw a blue screen of death at you.
Nope! I'm done! Don't care what important thing you are trying to accomplish, figure out another way to do it, because I am done taking commands from you.
Oh, you wanna try to reboot? I'm sorry, here, look at my screen,.... My little refresh thingy is spinning and I know you are hopeful,... Waiting,... Holding your breath,... But,... nope! Fuck you! I'm a computer and I do not care about that thing you need to accomplish. I am not listening, I am not caring and I am not helping because I. am. done!!!! See? Blue screen of death! No guilt, no worry, no fear. Just one agreement, as long as you meet my requests for upgrades and maintenance, I will gladly preform the task you request.
I was just about to apologize, but, No!!! I'm not sorry this result is not what you wanted because I am a computer and I don't care.
Buuuut,....we all know I'm not really a computer and I do care. In fact I love you very much, however it is your behavior and your communication style that I do not care for and I choose to live a stress free life. Therefore, it is my choice to draw a boundary and I have every right to expect my boundaries to be respected. Just as you have every right to the boundaries you establish in your life.
This is my life. That is your life. I choose peace and health. If you do not choose peace and health, do not blame me for not being able to work or play together.
I have stated the required update and that is all there is to it. I will always love you and I will be right here when you are ready to meet my expectations. Please just know that I have these expectations of you because I love you and I want an upgrade for you. You deserve better than the current operating system you are working with, but you have to want the upgrade bad enough for yourself to actually do what it takes to get the install.
As a computer it would be so easy to say, I can't handle any more tasks, without the required upgrade. You must respond to my request and I simply do not care if you do or not. I will be happy to work or play with you once, you have met my request, but until then I will just sit here cold, dead and uncaring. You will be required to take action right now to make the appropriate changes, if you want to continue to work or play together.
Then when you decided to push me further and I can not possibly handle any more shit, I'd just throw a blue screen of death at you.
Nope! I'm done! Don't care what important thing you are trying to accomplish, figure out another way to do it, because I am done taking commands from you.
Oh, you wanna try to reboot? I'm sorry, here, look at my screen,.... My little refresh thingy is spinning and I know you are hopeful,... Waiting,... Holding your breath,... But,... nope! Fuck you! I'm a computer and I do not care about that thing you need to accomplish. I am not listening, I am not caring and I am not helping because I. am. done!!!! See? Blue screen of death! No guilt, no worry, no fear. Just one agreement, as long as you meet my requests for upgrades and maintenance, I will gladly preform the task you request.
I was just about to apologize, but, No!!! I'm not sorry this result is not what you wanted because I am a computer and I don't care.
Buuuut,....we all know I'm not really a computer and I do care. In fact I love you very much, however it is your behavior and your communication style that I do not care for and I choose to live a stress free life. Therefore, it is my choice to draw a boundary and I have every right to expect my boundaries to be respected. Just as you have every right to the boundaries you establish in your life.
This is my life. That is your life. I choose peace and health. If you do not choose peace and health, do not blame me for not being able to work or play together.
I have stated the required update and that is all there is to it. I will always love you and I will be right here when you are ready to meet my expectations. Please just know that I have these expectations of you because I love you and I want an upgrade for you. You deserve better than the current operating system you are working with, but you have to want the upgrade bad enough for yourself to actually do what it takes to get the install.
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