Department Heads Agree

Life is like a raft. If you intend to get anywhere you need a certain amount of balance.

My raft is a shared raft and is usually pretty balanced. Keri and I have agreements that keep us balanced for the most part. I'll oar and she will rest and vice versa or we'll oar together if we want to get somewhere quicker.

We've been at this shared raft business for awhile now and we pretty much know what to expect from each other. We hit some rapids every now and then, but we've managed to stay afloat and continue to oar in the same direction. It's true that we've made a few course corrections along the way, but being flexible is a big part of the balance.

We know that Keri is the head of the research department and I am the head of the experiment department. It's good that we know these things about each other because it helps us to understand how and why the other one operates the way that they do.

Recently, as you probably know, we brought aboard a new member of our shared raft. This adorable little fur ball, named Marbles, has disrupted our balance just a bit. We are acclimating rather well, all three of us.

However, the sleep deprivation has added an extra challenge. Lack of sleep causes the experiment department to be less receptive to guidance from the research department. Luckily, these two departments have worked well with each other for quite some time and are aware of what's intended.

Both departments have agreed to be more sensitive and more receptive. Research shows that well planned experiments generally end with positive results. We intend for our shared raft to continue on the course we have set out without too much detour given the added adorable member.

Sensitive and Unconventional

I am a very sensitive person and I am also kind of naive. I feel that my naivety is associated with my childlike demeanor. I don't watch the news because it doesn't make me feel good. I don't follow politics for the same reason. I like simple things. I like silence. I like the sound of a single flute. I like blue sky. I like laughing. I like things to be simple and sometimes the way I think and live can come off as insensitive.

Sometimes things I do, because it doesn't bother me one bit can seem insensitive because I am not really thinking about how it affects other people. Here's an example: I was at a conference in Las Vegas last year and you all know how busy restrooms can get at a break during a conference. Well,... the line for the women's restroom was probably 50 people or more long and the line for the men's restroom was non-existent. In my mind a toilet is a toilet right? There were stalls in the men's restroom, so I waltzed right in there and used a stall. No waiting. No muss no fuss.

This was not the first time I had done this, I have done it on many occasions, at a fair, at a concert, in restaurants, really anywhere. It seemed like who cares, I have to pee and clearly I will have to WAIT in this long line or just walk right into this other room and go right now. I never really understood what the big deal was all about. There are stalls in both and if I am going into a stall what difference does it make?

Well, it was brought to my attention that though it may not bother me at all to walk into a men's restroom to share "their" facility, it may make "them" uncomfortable. It never even occurred to me and to any man who I may have ever caused any discomfort in the restroom by walking in and using a private stall, I apologize. It certainly was never my intention to cause anyone to feel uncomfortable. I was simply trying to expedite my own relief.

It does bring to my mind the question though,... why are we so comfortable with some of our body parts and not all of our body parts. I think and this truly is my honest opinion, nudity is not that big of a deal. My dog walks around naked all the time and nobody thinks anything of it. A body is a body. Head, shoulders, knees and toes. Face, breasts, butt and ankles. We love nudity when it comes to babies and their cute little bellies and tushies. Why do we turn to shame as we age?

I don't really know the answer to that question, but I welcome your comments if you have an opinion on the subject of nudity and how shame develops around our bodies as we age. I am comfortable with nudity and I walk around naked in my house everyday.

Will and Grace

The definition of will- the inherent mental power by which a person decides on and initiates action.

The definition of grace- a controled, polite and pleasant way of behaving.

Do you remember that tv show? Will and Grace? I always loved that show. It was funny and one of the first sitcoms to feature two gay men as main characters. It was the first tv series to feature gay characters that ended up in the "must see tv" line up. I haven't really thought about that show for quite some time, but I just started reading Falling into Grace by Adyashanti and yeserday, after I had read a little bit of the book I decided to lay down and rest. I wanted the words I was reading to really sink into my consciousness.

There I was, in the still and quiet, and the words will and grace came to me.

I never really thought about will and grace in this way before, but there it was right there in my consciousness. Some things you can't unsee and now my minds eye is aware that by utilizing my will, I can live my life with grace.

will- the inherent mental power by which a person decides on and initiates action

grace- a controled, polite and pleasant way of behaving

One and done!

I should not have to hold my breath to spare myself from your excessive use of perfume. I find the overuse of perfume and cologne to be quite offensive. In fact one of my friends said it best when she posted this comment on Facebook, "It's called a fragrance, not a flavor." Thank you Laura, I couldn't agree more.

Keri and I threaten all the time that we are going to get t-shirts made up that have an image of a traditional perfume bottle on them with the words, One and Done, printed on them.

C'mon people!!! Be sensitive to the nostrils of others.

Blue doesn't care,...

I have very recently rediscovered that I am a VERY sensitive person. I have always known that about myself, but I just experienced a shift in my reality that clarified for me that my sensitivity can be debilitating if I allow it to be.

Sometimes when I listen to people talk about horrible things that go on in their lives, I can feel my body changing and actually taking on the stress of the person talking. This is exactly why I don't watch the news. My chest gets tight, my breath becomes shallow, my shoulders and jaw tense up and depending on the intensity of the stress in the other person I can totally zone out. If I am able to interject some thoughts that shed some light on the situation I can continue to listen and try to help. In some cases though, I have to excuse myself for my own sense of self preservation.

My sensitivity can also be very helpful, as it can get me in tune real quick to others energies. Sometimes before even a word is spoken, I can have an awareness that something is going on. Sometimes I'm off base in my perception regarding the cause of the energy shift, but I'm usually right about the shift.

What I need to realize is that I do not always need to help. Sometimes all the help I need to be is a sounding board. I can lovingly listen and allow space for someone to process their feelings regarding their situation. Just providing space for someone to safely verbalized their process can be all the help they need to break through to the other side.

Ultimately, though we all know that we can not truly help someone unless they are ready to receive help. If someone is not in the right space to hear our words of clarity it will only sound like hogwash or as they say fall on deaf ears. It can feel like a TOTAL waste of time because most of the time we feel very passionate about our words of clarity. When we adamantly express our words of clarity and it falls on deaf ears it can totally drain us. It is our passion that drains us because we are giving it away and really we should be keeping it to ourselves.

If we put all the passion we use towards trying to convince someone else of our truth and put it towards our own sense of peace, regardless of what anyone else thinks,...geez!!! Imagine how peaceful we would be. It really does not matter if someone else understands our concept of clarity. Someone else understanding our truth and clarity does not make our truth and clarity anymore true or clear. So, in an effort to save ourselves from banging our heads against a wall in continued frustration we have to let go of the notion that, "you understanding me makes me clearer". It simply is not true. Blue does not care if someone thinks blue is red, pink, or selfish and stubborn. Blue knows that blue is blue. It is very simple for blue though, because blue does not have feelings, but if we want to grow and change we can not allow our feelings to be our stumbling block.

We can choose to use our feelings and our sensitivities to assist us in our growth by being aware and accepting. Radical acceptance is the path to peace.