Stress! Who Wants It???

What an amazing realization!!! It feels so amazing to learn and grow!!! Do you know that stress can be a VERY good thing? Yes!!! It can. Check it out,...

You're be-bopping along through your day and all of a sudden you find yourself in a situation that makes you feel anxious because you feel you are unequipped to handle that situation. You feel the tension in your shoulders, you can feel things going on in your body stirring and prepping you to get the hell out!!! But wait!!!

You stop for a minute and take a deep breath, say to yourself, "This situation is uncomfortable for me. Why? because I don't know how to handle it". What does that really mean? Does it mean you truly are inept?

No! It doesn't,... unless you believe that you are in fact inept. However, if you believe that you can learn and grow this stress feeling is a signal to you that you are currently in an amazing position of opportunity.

Amazing opportunity? Are you crazy? Who really feels like a stressful situation is an amazing opportunity. Uhhh,... ME!!! That's who.

When you feel stress you have an opportunity to turn tail and run the other direction OR you can take that stress and allow it to fuel your desire to grow and change. You can overcome that particular stress by learning new skills.

When you learn new skills and overcome stressful situations you become more confident, you feel more freedom. The feeling of freedom allows you to follow your dreams, live your passion and inspire others.

Momma's Dream

I watched a video on YouTube today of my son playing guitar and singing What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong. It is so amazing to see him following his heart. I was moved to tears as I watched him strum his guitar and sing about the wonders of life. Even though they were not his original words, a momma knows when her baby is feeling what he is singing. It brings me such a warm lovey feeling to see him flourishing. I am so happy for you Garrison.

This feeling I have for Garrison is such a wonderful feeling for me for two reasons: 1. Because a momma loves to see her baby living their passion. (I am a momma). 2. Because a momma loves to see her baby living their passion. (I have a momma).

It is an amazing feeling to feel the way I feel about my baby and to know my momma feels that way about me. You are right Garrison, it is a wonderful world.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="720"] That's my boy.[/caption]

Living on the Edge

Today somebody asked me, What's my favorite thing to write about. I thought for a minute because I have been asking myself a similar question. I've been asking myself, what would I like my ultimate platform for Apozitude to be? If I were to give a presentation, what would I feel the most passion about sharing?

I have been having a little bit of difficulty with this question because I feel a great deal of passion about many things. Who will my audience be when I begin giving presentations? I love children and the pure positive energy they still have coursing through them. I love how open they are to learning new things. I asked Lexi, my favorite little 3 year old, if she wanted to meditate with me several weeks ago. Although I am not certain, she may have been introduced to meditation before, but she was totally open to it. We did 15 minutes of focused breathing exersices. She was looking at a book while we were doing it, but every single time the guided meditation instructed us to breathe in, she would look up from her book, then at me and breathe in until the guided meditation instructed us to breathe out. It was one of the most adorable things I've ever seen. She had no questions about it, like why? or what is this good for? or any doubt about it. She just did it. It was really cool.

So, having an audience of children has a certain appeal, but I am also very passionate about equal rights, exercise, eating healthy, having a positive attitude and just plain'ol having fun. I really want to discover a platform that has the widest reach. When the question, What's your favorite thing to write about was posed, my answer was that I most like to write about living life on purpose.

As I thought about this concept more as the day went on, I thought how do I live my life on purpose? How would I address this in Apozitude? I noticed that I started asking myself questions and I thought this is one of the things you need to do to live your life on purpose. You need to ask yourself questions and not just, what do I want for breakfast type of questions, questions that make you a little bit uncomfortable. Questions that take you to places deep within yourself to get the answers. In the end when you come up with the answer, that answer should make your chest swell with pride, cause a smile to strech across your face and make you feel like you're on fire because THAT is your purpose!!!

What makes you live your life on purpose? What is your intention? What are you willing to make personal sacrifices for? What is it that turns you on? Ask your self questions that ONLY YOU can answer. Every single question that you have ever had has an answer right there with in you. You have to be willing to make a commitment to yourself, to slow down and sit quietly listening with the intention of receiving THE answers.

My favorite thing to write about is living life on purpose. Being mindful. Living with intention. Listening with intention. Why? Because that is my purpose that is what gets me all fired up. I could stay up all night talking about intention and purpose and living life just beyond on the edge of my comfort zone.

Lab work? No thank you.

I worked briefly in a dental lab fabricating the metal framework for partials. I had no training what so ever and they knew that when they hired me. I did have dental assisting experience, but that is WAY different than sitting at a work bench using instruments, wax and alcohol torches to create a cast for metal framework. So, I decided when I started I was going to be open to all criticisms of my creations because I had never in my life worked with these materials and tools before. Guess what! Being open to that criticism actually helped me become a better technician. It was critical that it be done correctly because it was being fabricated to fit inside someone's mouth. Can you imagine how uncomfortable it would be if it was too thick or in the slightest of wrong places.

I believe being open to the critical opinion of my co-worker and instructor is what created the amazing technician in myself. It was not only my opinion that I was an amazing technician, my boss was pretty surprised at how fast I picked up the fine skills of fabricating the framework. In a eight month period I was able to accurately wax up as many cases in a day as my two co-workers that had been doing it for years. I couldn't hang with it though. It was very isolated and lonely for me. Sitting at a work bench plugged into what ever music I had at the time, waxing up partials ALL DAY long, it got to be depressing for me. I need contact with people, so I decided to leave. My boss offered me a manager position on the night shift that would pay more, but I would still be sitting at a bench waxing up partials and then not even getting to see my baby. It wasn't worth it to me and just because you are able to do something well, does not mean that is what you are supposed to do.

You gotta go with what brings you pleasure. Go for it!!! Reach out and grab it!!! I am!!!!

Daughter of a Disco Queen

Plain and simple, there are some songs that can totally take me to the HNL "hole nunna lelel" also known as, whole 'nother level. You might know about the "HNL" if you watched the late night comedy show Mad tv. It was pretty funny, but that is not what this is about. This is about how totally out of this world I can feel just by crankin' up the volume and dancing my ass off in my car, in my living room or out in public. Most of the time, it's in my car, because I'm in my car everyday, but when I make a dance night happen I am OFF. THE. HOOK!!!!

I love the freedom and total bliss of being on a dance floor or anywhere when I can shake what my momma gave me. I don't know why dancing provides this sort of escape for me and I don't really care. I just LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!

I know that my mom was a dancing fool in her younger days, a "real disco queen". My memory of her from the mid 70's is one hot momma. I remember this one all white polyester suit she wore that always made me think she was a woman in charge. I couldn't put words to it back then, but looking back I looked up to her, thought she was very cool and quite beautiful. She had long dark brown hair, almost black, down to her ass, beautiful olive skin and in that white suit she seemed like a woman of power.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="221"] Look at my beautiful momma.[/caption]

The pant legs of that suit flared out over her high heel shoes and the top was kinda high, like around her waist. She wore the white matching jacket over a hot pink fitted low cut tank top. Yes, she was my mom and I thought she looked hot! I'm not sure if she still cuts the rug or not, but we used to play records at our house all the time and dance around the living room. There was always music in my childhood, in the car on the way to school, driving around on Saturdays running errands, in the living room while we were doing our weekend chores.

Perhaps all this song and dance through my childhood fueled this passion for dance through the rest of my life. The song that started all this today is by Bruno Mars, Treasure. I LOVE that song. It just has the right rhythm and pop and the words are so fun. I sit in my car at stop lights and dance my ass off. I'm ready to go dancing!!! It's so fun! I don't care if I'm the only one out there, I just let loose and have a blast!!!

My hope,...

When I sit down to write something for my blog, I usually take a quick perusal of FB to see what's going on in the lives of my loved ones near and far. I like the snap shot and opportunities FB provides. It can be whatever you choose for it to be. I choose to see the things that: inspire me, create good feelings within me and provide opportunities for growth and connection. I tend to skip the stuff that seems like it might create opposing feelings.

Today (Sunday January 12, 2014) when I opened the FB window to the world around me I discovered a friend of mine had posted a link to a blog entitled, Three words that can change the way you feel, and it served as a great reminder. The author of that particular blog survived cardiac arrest, but also survived death, not too many of us can say that or even want the opportunity to experience it, but you can only imagine how your previous, "have to's" would easily turn into, "get to's". I feel like I am a pretty grateful person and I thanked my friend, Judy, for posting the link on her FB. I also mentioned in my response that I am grateful to be as grateful as I am without having to experience a return from death situation.

I just saw Judy on Saturday at little birthday thing and I didn't know it but, she hadn't been giving out hugs because she has been sick. Guess when I found out,... After I sat beside her for the majority of the gathering and as I was hugging her goodbye. Do you think this new information cut our hug session short? If you said, Oh hell yes! Then #1 you clearly don't know me or #2 you're some kind of weirdo germ phobe. The answer is No, it did not cut our hugging session short and do you know why? #1 because I love my friend Judy and #2 because I don't believe in germs. I know it's an unconventional thought process, but that's just me. Also, I believe a hug is warmer when you're in it. What if, for some godforsaken reason I never got to see Judy again, I would be kicking myself for not hugging her the last time I saw her because of some stupid "fear" of germs. Besides as much juice as I have been drinking lately, even if I did get exposed to some germs, I'd be flushing them out faster than they would have a chance to do any damage anyway.

So, what the heck is the point? The point is that today's viewfinder AKA Facebook provided an opportunity for me to share feelings of gratitude, inspired me to write about it and hopefully provided an opportunity for someone else to feel inspired, connected and loved. It also provided an opportunity for me to reflect on 2013 and I can't help but wonder about my niece Audra. How has her life changing experience changed her perspective? I. can. not. even. imagine. My hope is that she has discovered a strength within herself that she never dreamed was possible. My hope is that despite her challenges, whether they are regular old college life things or related to her health that she knows she has support from people that love her more than she could even imagine. My hope is that she takes this crazy thing we call life and takes herself to the edge of glory. My hope is that she chases her passions with a red hot burning desire. My hope is that she feels love, deep powerful love that takes her breath away. My hope is that she knows I am pulling for her. These things make me feel good. I am grateful to have an opportunity to have these feelings and that I am able to share these feelings.

Blue doesn't care,...

I have very recently rediscovered that I am a VERY sensitive person. I have always known that about myself, but I just experienced a shift in my reality that clarified for me that my sensitivity can be debilitating if I allow it to be.

Sometimes when I listen to people talk about horrible things that go on in their lives, I can feel my body changing and actually taking on the stress of the person talking. This is exactly why I don't watch the news. My chest gets tight, my breath becomes shallow, my shoulders and jaw tense up and depending on the intensity of the stress in the other person I can totally zone out. If I am able to interject some thoughts that shed some light on the situation I can continue to listen and try to help. In some cases though, I have to excuse myself for my own sense of self preservation.

My sensitivity can also be very helpful, as it can get me in tune real quick to others energies. Sometimes before even a word is spoken, I can have an awareness that something is going on. Sometimes I'm off base in my perception regarding the cause of the energy shift, but I'm usually right about the shift.

What I need to realize is that I do not always need to help. Sometimes all the help I need to be is a sounding board. I can lovingly listen and allow space for someone to process their feelings regarding their situation. Just providing space for someone to safely verbalized their process can be all the help they need to break through to the other side.

Ultimately, though we all know that we can not truly help someone unless they are ready to receive help. If someone is not in the right space to hear our words of clarity it will only sound like hogwash or as they say fall on deaf ears. It can feel like a TOTAL waste of time because most of the time we feel very passionate about our words of clarity. When we adamantly express our words of clarity and it falls on deaf ears it can totally drain us. It is our passion that drains us because we are giving it away and really we should be keeping it to ourselves.

If we put all the passion we use towards trying to convince someone else of our truth and put it towards our own sense of peace, regardless of what anyone else thinks,...geez!!! Imagine how peaceful we would be. It really does not matter if someone else understands our concept of clarity. Someone else understanding our truth and clarity does not make our truth and clarity anymore true or clear. So, in an effort to save ourselves from banging our heads against a wall in continued frustration we have to let go of the notion that, "you understanding me makes me clearer". It simply is not true. Blue does not care if someone thinks blue is red, pink, or selfish and stubborn. Blue knows that blue is blue. It is very simple for blue though, because blue does not have feelings, but if we want to grow and change we can not allow our feelings to be our stumbling block.

We can choose to use our feelings and our sensitivities to assist us in our growth by being aware and accepting. Radical acceptance is the path to peace.

Positive choices

I intend to easily and continuously attract the people and situations to myself that will facilitate the process of becoming the inspirational speaker I know I am here to be.

Being inspired and inspiring others is my passion. I love the feeling of exhilaration I get when inspiration lights up in people when they decide to make positive choices in their lives.