Retrain your brain

I have been learning about a very cool concept called cognitive restructuring. It was explained to me like this, our brains can receive over 2 million messages at a time. So, an event happens, the brain does it's job of receiving information regarding the event and all the other stimuli going on around the event, then the brain developes an interpretation through the utilization of a lens or a filter.

The brain uses this lens or filter to help quickly asses the situation and determine what the appropriate response would be. However, the lens contains a couple of key components that affect the interpretation, one being our past experiences and the other is our beliefs.

As we all know, past experiences can very strongly affect how we expect certain situations to play out, which lead us to create a belief. Such as, in the past it was my belief that if I wanted something different than my wife, it would create a conflict. Which I've discovered, really is not all that bad in reality. So, we want different things. So what? We make compromises.

This realization was brought to me through the utilization of cognitive restructuring. As I said, "in the past it was my belief", however I realized through several uncomfortable conversations my perception was not wrong, wanting different things did create conflict, but it wasn't something that we haven't been able to talk about and work through. These conversations have lead to clarification and increased levels of happiness and mutual respect.

Many people don't realize this, but when you use your brain to anticipate "what may happen", you are actually sending a message out into the universe and calling on the energy of the ultimate creative source to deliver what you are imagining. The concept is called the Law of Attraction. What you think about, you bring about and it works weither you believe it or not.

Awareness is the tool I am using to create a helpful blog. I am hopeful your new or reminded awareness is of some use to you today and as you move forward through your day.

Carry on

It is becoming more and more clear to me that THE ONLY thing I have control over is myself. I can control my reactions when I am verbally assaulted. I can control my thoughts when a situation in my environment is spinning out of control like a Tasmanian devil. I can control my exposure to toxic personalities. I can control my breath when my ego is stirred up.

I am very proud to choose the high road, because I know like I know like I know that the universe is responding to my vibration.

I am an ocean THIS is a ripple.

Patience. Not just the ability to wait,...

I was talking with a friend of mine the other day about challenges and delights of growing out my hair. He understood as he said he once was trying to grow out his hair. He spoke of wearing a little plastic head band to keep this hair out of his face and how trendy it made him feel. My friend mentioned during the process of growing out his hair he thought many times it would be a great idea to start a support group for people that were sharing this arduous task. It's a great idea.

Growing out your hair can be so frustrating. There are days when you simply do not have the energy or the time to style your hair. When you have had a very simple, short, wash and go hair style for as long as I did, growing out your hair can be very tiresome. I just want to chop it off sometimes. Besides the fact that it can be challenging to have the patience to do it, you also have to take into consideration that you'll need a certain ability to be able to style your new longer hair.

A support group would be nice. We could meet and share our challenges. We could teach each other tips and tricks to styling longer, BUT not quite long enough hair. We could encourage each other to hold true to our desire to want longer hair. I read on Facebook the other day a quote that read, Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to remain calm while you wait. A support group would be very helpful.

In the last several weeks I've purchased scarves to tie up my hair, bobby pins, head bands, a brush, a comb, hair products and unpacked all the hats I can find. I decided to start letting my hair grow last June. It's getting there.

Btw, I still am a day dreamer.

Walking across a parking lot one day this past weekend, I stepped over a patch of oil in one of the parking spots. As I did this I could clearly hear a voice in my head from my childhood, my mom's voice, Don't step in the oil!!

I don't know why it makes me smile every time it crosses my mind. Maybe it's because it used to startle the shit out of me when I was a kid. I was always kinda in my own little world. You know, taking in the sights, watching the clouds drift by that looked like a clown feeding an ice cream to a little wiener dog and day dreaming as I walked from here to there. Watching the leaves rustle in the breeze and all of a sudden my mom hollers out, "Don't step in the oil!"

It was startling. It stopped me in my tracks.

I understand now, she didn't want oil on my shoes tracking in on the carpet. It apparently made quite an impression on me. I haven't actually heard her say that in probably 30+ years, but I still hear it in my mind just about any time I walk across a parking lot. I love my momma. We always have a good laugh when we're on the phone or in person. I am so grateful.

You want to change the world???

I read a speech last week that Naval Admiral William H. McRaven gave to the graduating class of 2014 from the University of Texas. The speech was based on 10 lessons he learned in the basic SEAL training program. He shared these lessons with the graduating class because the University's slogan is,

"What starts here changes the world."

Admiral McRaven said, "I have to admit, I kinda' like it" So, he offered these 10 lessons with hope they would have value as the students moved forward. It was very compelling. I liked it so much, I read the speech, then listened to him give the speech and even took pictures of the words he spoke. You might say, I loved it!!!

I was tempted to list the 10 lessons here, but I changed my mind. I'll link the speech to this blog and you can decide for yourself what your favorite part will be. I loved the whole thing, but the part that really stuck out in my mind was lesson #7.



I LOVE the image this created in my mind. This is what you have to do to bullies and once you do "punch a shark in the snout" meaning stand up to a bully they really do swim off. The reason is the same now as when I was teaching this lesson to Garrison in the second grade. Bullies are trying to get a reaction out of you and when you stand up to them they fall away as if they're made of ash.

It can be scary, but you must remember, It is going to work out...and if it doesn't, then you need to move on!

What's in a moment?

Life is full of reasons to smile. Life is full of reasons to celebrate. Life is full of reasons shut down. Life is full of reasons to point our fingers at others in blame for bad situations in life, but of all these things in life, ALL we truly HAVE is this moment. This moment holds so much promise. This moment holds so much hope.

In this moment YOU have a choice. You can focus on what brings a smile to your face and makes you want to get up and dance or you can turn your cheek on that opportunity and you can sit down and pout.

As for me, I love to smile. I love to hug. I love to dance. I love to sing. I love to laugh. I love my life because I make an intentional decision to focus on the things that make me happy. I'm not saying that I'm perfect at it and I am happy all the time. I, often, have to recommit to the decision to be happy, but I just keep on making that choice.

The more I choose to be happy, the smaller the not happy gaps get.

Can she swallow a sword?

I had a very nice surprise visitor in my office the other day. He stopped by to pick up his electric toothbrush and a hug, to be honest with you, I think the toothbrush was an excuse. He really just came for the hugs. It's a darn good thing too, because I had taken his toothbrush home to deliver it in person. We just hadn't connected yet, so when he arrived all he was able to pick up were the hugs.

He seemed satisfied. Some of you may not know this, but I do give life affirming hugs and that's not just my perception. There is an actual documented case when I gave someone a hug and we parted from the hug, he held my shoulders in his hands, looked me right in the face and said, "Your hugs are life affirming". That was such a sweet thing for him to say.

I think I'll add that to my resume'. Ability to give life affirming hugs.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="300"] Hurry! Hurry! Step right up![/caption]

This whole scene just played out in my mind. Picture and old style circus. There's a guy wearing a red long tales jacket, a top hat and has a nicely curled mustache. He's standing on a wooden box outside a little red and white striped tent. The dapper gent yelling out into a crowd of people, "Hurry! Hurry folks! Step right up! Right before your eyes the amazing Angel of Apozitude will blow your mind. Can she breathe fire? No! Can she swallow a sword? Oh no! That is just a simple trick. Just inside this tent you will be amazed! Behind this flap you can receive a hug that will fill your soul!!! Your life will be at peace during your embrace. You will feel the loving embrace of a life affirming hug. Hurry Hurry. Don't pass up the chance to feel the love".

I believe in the power of hugs. I believe my surprise visitor drove to my office with the intention of receiving one of these hugs. He stepped right up and I wrapped my arms around him and I hugged him. To say that I believe in the power of hugs means I believe in the power of love. It's no trick and it's not an act. It is love.