Momma Pie, I love your guts

I had the most amazing conversation with my mom yesterday. We talked about our growth, individual and in our relationship with each other. We shared pictures via text, we laughed, we reflected, and you know what,... we grew a little more.

We have had our trying times for sure especially the decade of my life from about 14 to 24. We resisted each other and we agonised over our relationship. We wanted things from each other we thought we might not be able to have and with diligent effort as individuals we worked on ourselves and on our relationship together.

This was not the first time we talked about her decision to have an only child. I know, as I said to her yesterday, the logic behind her decision and found that I agreed with her logic enough to have an only child myself. It can be a difficult decision, because you want your child to have the very best of everything and you have to decide for yourself what that means to you.

Some people decide that it means having an only child and devoting 100% of their parenting attention to a single child and denying them the opportunity to have a sibling and for others it means dividing their attention amongst multiple children and provide siblings. I realize this is only one perspective on one factor of decisions that are made regarding becoming a parent and everyone has their own reasons for their choices. Whatever we decide for ourselves, we have to come to the realization within ourselves that we simply do the best we can from any given point and move on.

I have yearned for the better part of my life for a sibling. I've said many times that my cousins and very close friends are "kinda" like my siblings, but it is just not the same. I am an only child. I never will have a sibling that shares my mother and my father.

Yesterday during my wonderful conversation with my sweet momma with all the love, devotion, energy and acceptance she pours into me and our relationship I decided to say FUCK IT to that hole in my soul that yearns for a sibling. I am DAMN lucky and very grateful to have such an amazing relationship with my mom. I vowed to her from that conversation forward I would no longer ache for a sibling. I have many things to be grateful for and it seems no matter what yard you're in when you are focusing on what your life lacks the grass will always be greener in the other yard.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="300"] This was taken about 6 years ago in Laurelhurst Park. I made arrangements for us to have a photo shoot on one of my moms visits to Portland, she lives in the midwest.[/caption]

My mom and I have a very special relationship. We have a connection that goes beyond the earthly realm. It's difficult to explain, but she knows it's there and so do I and that is all that matters. The grass in my yard with this attitude of gratitude is emerald-green.

Thank you Momma for everything you have done and sacrificed for me. You are the best!!!

What's your moto?

Life is full of little surprises and disruptions that cause shifts in our routine. Sometimes those shifts, bump us out of our comfort zone and we have to deal with life situations from a slightly different perspective.

All we can do in those situations is to deal with it at our best with the set of skills we have at that given time. Hopefully, we grow and our skills of dealing with life's little disruptions expand.

Hindsight is 20/20 and that can provide a point of gratitude. I am grateful for the lessons I have learned and the coping skills I've developed. I am looking forward to more of life's little surprises and disruptions because I am hungry for growth.

I'm going to put my smile on and get out there and grow. Doing my best and forgetting the rest.

Liking my body is good enough for me

You gotta fight for your fitness everyday. Fitness is a constant battle, but it is worth it. - Rachel from Les Mills Combat work out DVDs.

For me it's not really about how I look in my jeans, although I would be lying if I didn't admit it's a very nice perk, but really it's about being healthy and FEELING GOOD. I love the way I feel after a work out. I love the soreness I feel in my muscles. It might be a little weird to some people, but I even like how sweaty I get when I've given it everything I've got. Yes, I also love the way my jeans fit. I feel proud of how hard I work to keep myself fit. Am I in the best shape of my life? HELL NO! BUT!!! I like my body and that is enough for me.

Sometimes when I am challenged by a certain exercise and I feel like I wanna give up, I imagine someone who is going through a difficult time. I imagine that their difficulty will be lessened if I am able to push through. I have held a plank position on elbows longer than I thought possible while contemplating my mother-in law when she was dealing with breast cancer.
I have done way more football conditioning drills than I thought possible, while imagining my son's life would be much easier if I continued. I've done more push ups in an effort to ease frustration in Keri's life. Today, I pushed myself beyond what I would have just for myself, on a rotating push up/side plank exercise for my niece, Audra and the list goes on and on.


There is no denying that exercise is a physical challenge, but WAY before it's a physical challenge, it's a mental one. There have been many days when I just could not get myself out of bed in time to work out, but I finally figured out the key to getting up when the alarm goes off. I ask myself a question in which I know my answer will be, YES!

Do you wanna work out? NO! Ok, let's sleep. FAIL! Do you wanna get up? NO! Ok, let's sleep. FAIL! Do you wanna be fit? YES! OK, get your ass out of bed! Do you wanna feel energetic today? YES! Ok, let's get our work out in this morning. I always feel so good when it's done. I love it!! No, not the work out, the feeling of being done. It is a constant battle, but it IS worth it.

BOOM! There it is!

You never know when you just might make someones day. I was at Trader Joe's the other day and we were in line to check out when I remembered I needed one more thing. I looked at Keri and said, "I'll be right back." Somehow, I was able to go right to the olives and go back before she was even finished checking out.

I placed the forgotten olives on the check out stand and Keri said, "BINGO! That was fast." I said, "Yup! Bingo bongo bango and we're on our way." We shared small talk with the checker and when he was finishing up he thanked me for saying, Bingo, Bongo, Bango, because his father-in-law died recently, but before he did he went through a bad bout of dementia and one of the last things he would repeatedly say was Bingo Bongo Bango. He had fond memories of his father-in-law and he always smiles whenever he hears someone say that phrase.

I don't know about you, but when he shared this story with me, I got cold chills. I'm cheesy that way, but it goes back to what I've said before, when you make someone's day it kinda makes your day too.

I had no idea that those three little words would make his day, but Bingo Bongo, Bango there it was a smile on his face.

Happy Cinco de Mayo!!!!

Cinco de Mayo - Is actually celebrated in parts of Mexico as the Anniversary of the Battle of Puebla in which Mexico defeated the French in 1862. About 2,000 Mexican military men fought against about 6,000 French soldiers until the French retreated, as they lost approximately 1,000 of their men. Mexico celebrated the victory then and still do this day with parades and mariachi bands.

Here in the U.S., we often confuse Cinco de Mayo for Mexico's Independence Day, which is actually celebrated in Mexico on September 16th. I am really happy for Mexico that they have their independence and I'd be happy to add September 16th to my calendar as another day of the year to celebrate.

I love Mexican food and don't really need another reason to drink beer, but I'll take it. :) Honestly, I did download an app just yesterday to help me learn Spanish.

Happy Cinco de Mayo mi amigos and amigas.

Energy goes where attention flows

Take a deep breath and know that there are no mistakes. Everything happens exactly as it is supposed to with lessons and growth that go beyond our current level of comprehension, so with that knowledge, take a deep breath and trust your "knowing" what is right for you.

Today I am focusing my energy on health and placing my trust in the knowing.

The Little Pleasures in Life

Today, my friend John Vega, introduced me to a blog I'd like to follow by Dr. Judith Orloff. John heard Dr. Orloff speak at his church today and was very impressed with her presentation. He introduced me to her as someone that teaches us how to awaken our intuition, deal with energy vampires and transform depression and anxiety. I thought that is right up my alley, so I went and checked it out.

The very first blog I read was entitled Surrender to the Miracle of Love. In the blog Dr. Orloff points out how to identify your soul mate and guess what!!! You got it!!! Keri and I are, in fact, soul mates. It's not like we needed confirmation, but there it was right there in seven bullet points.

- You feel a strong connection, comfort and sense of familiarity.
- There's a physical attraction.
- You share mutual love, commitment and support.
- You "get" each other; you're each other's biggest fans
- You are emotional mirrors and teachers for each other
- You're in synch, even telepathic
- You're willing to work through conflict, compromise and surrender unhealthy patterns to improve the relationship.

I'll take that last bullet point and add that we're willing to, not only improve our relationship, but ourselves as individuals as well. As we have grown over the years it has been a great deal of work, but for the most part we have alot of fun together.

One of the things that we are really grateful for is the fact that we travel so well together. We like similar levels of activity while on vacation, which is pretty much eating and napping, preferablly on a warm sunny beach.

Daily life can be challenging with working on our selves, our relationships and finding the balance that feels comfortable for oursleves and the people who share our lives. Finding a blog like Dr. Orloff's that offers lessons on how to awaken intuition, deal with energy vampires and transform difficult emotions will be a very valuable tool in my tool belt and hopefully will assist in making future vacations even more relaxing. A more peacful life with my soul mate will inevitablly lead to more peacful vacations.

Thank you, John Vega, for sharing.