Butter and Honey on a Biscuit

Keri and I went to one of our favorite breakfast places one day this past weekend, The Cricket Cafe on Belmont. We have been going there for years. Christine, the manager and the gal who has chatted us up and served us breakfast for many years asked us what we were doing this weekend and I said, "Remember when you used to ask us that and we'd say something about taking Garrison to his basketball or soccer game?". She did remember that and we chatted about getting older and how fast time goes by. Then she asked about Waffles. We looked at each other and didn't really say anything and then looked at her and she knew.

She said, "Oh my gosh what happened? When?". And that is when I defer to Keri, because I would rather have her answer in a way that suits her comfort level. Let's be honest, Keri was the preferred puppy momma and when Waffles was growing up I still had Garrison to raise, so my focus was more on him and naturally Keri's was more on Waffles. I was the preferred boy momma. We both shared in raising both boys, but there's no doubt about what we all know. I wouldn't feel comfortable sharing this if we weren't all in the know and completely ok with this description.

There is no doubt that Waffles was integral in my process of allowing Garrison to move away when he was 16. Waffles was there for me on all those days when I missed my boy and longed to wrap my arms around him. It was not the same as hugging Garrison, but it definitely was of great comfort. I remember coming home after seeing a teenage boy walking down Hall Blvd with his bike in the pouring rain. I was crying and Waffles greeted me at the door with such love and no questions. I knew Garrison was not here, but I still double checked for a while every time I drove passed a teenaged boy walking. My heart wanted so badly for one of those boys to be Garrison, so I could just pull over and say, Hey son jump in the car Momma will take you home.

Then I had to laugh when I thought about actually doing that to some poor unsuspecting teenaged boy. No, I never did it, but just the thought of it did make me smile instead of cry. Ya wanna know what else is funny? This blog was going to be about butter and honey on a biscuit. I guess I'm still processing feelings about Waffles and so it seems, Garrison too. It's getting better.

Who still says, Britches?

My weekend trip to the grocery store was especially rewarding today. Not only because I got all of our bottles recycled, and not just because I popped over to the deli before finding Keri and purchased for myself a single link sausage for 25 cents, not because at Trader Joe's I went to the sample section and got a bite of lemon poppyseed cupcake and half of a strawberry and the cutest little miniature cup of coffee. Are you tired yet of me listing all the reasons it wasn't rewarding?

Well, to be honest all of these reasons did add to my level of satisfaction, but the real treat was when I was leaving the Trader Joe's. A smile crosses my face just remembering the treat I'm about to reveal.

As I was approaching our car to leave, an older gentleman was walking up to the sidewalk. His truck was parked kinda caddy whom pus right next to our car. As I waited for him to get to the side walk, I noticed he was wearing suspenders and Levi's button fly jeans, except his jean would have more appropriately been called unbuttoned fly jeans. I leaned in as he passed and informed him that his britches were undone. Without missing a beat he stopped walking long enough to quickly retorted, "Ya know my brother says, What can't get up, can't get out" and then he just kept on walkin'.

As we pulled away and laughed at his comment, I thought to myself, man I can't wait 'til the day when I don't give a damn what people think. I am getting closer.

After the Call and After the Beep

Perhaps I am missing something, so I am going to write about it here in my blog and see if any of my readers can shed some light on this for me. Usually what happens when I write about something that doesn't make sense to me is by the time I finish writting I've come to terms with the confusing thing and I just let it go. This time I'm not sure, we'll see,...

So what I don't understand is why do some people answer their cell phones when they're "not available". I call people just about everyday to remind them of appointments or to follow up with questions or answers and I just can not figure out why some people answer their phones when they are at work and in a meeting, or in their classroom. When they answer, they say, "I am in a meeting/class can you call back and leave me a message?"

Well, I would have left a message had you not answered. I would assume you were not available and I would have left a message. I promise. Maybe I should just clarify that the invention of voice mail is so that you can allow people to leave you a message when you're not available. You don't have to answer. That is how it works.

Now that you have answered to tell me you're not available and want me to call back to leave a message, I have to make another call?!? Just don't answer when you're not available. I might not mention this if I didn't have such a busy day, but I am only one person. I am trying to work smarter not harder.

I didn't come to terms with it. I still find it aggrevating. So where's the positive attitude here today Angel? Well, I'm just not sure. Maybe my positive attitude is not available right now, why don't you call me back later. LOL.

A Little Reminder Never Hurt Anyone

Nope! I will not be communicating in that fashion. You can get upset and be in a pissed off mood all you want, however I will not be participating in such a manner. I care about how I feel and I care about how I come across to others when in communication. I will maintain a calm demenour and calmly take into consideration who I am dealing with and communicate appropriatly.

When I react I am giving away my power and when I respond I am maintaining my calm. Thank you Bob Proctor for the reminder.

It Just Wasn't Meant to Be

I understand the concept of every living thing is a little bundle of energy that has a purpose. I get that, I really do, but I have an agreement with the little bundles of living energy we all call spiders. Even just saying "spiders" to myself silently in my mind gives me the heebee geebees.

I'll share with you The Angel and Spider Agreeement: I know spiders are everywhere. I know I am never more than three feet away from a spider, or one of their family members. I allow spiders to be in my house, because let's be honest, do I really have a choice in the matter? Nope. Ok, so I accept that you spiders and your posse are in my house, and I agree to mostly to do my best to safely remove you from my house via the jar and book method, but if one of you little bastards is in my bedroom the agreement is OFF, and I will tell you why.

Let's say for instance I'm coming at you with the jar and book method,... Maybe I should explain the jar and book,... #1 there is always a spider #2 there is always a jar #3 not always is there a need for a book, sometimes you need something else like a manilla enevelope, and here's why: If said spider is on the wall, capture him with the jar and you could use a cup but a jar is better because then you can see your intuder. Being able to see the spider helps when you get to the envelope portion of this task. Gently slide the envelope between the glass and the wall, being very careful not to left the jar too much because you don't want him to escape, but also you have to lift it enough to allow the enelope to get in between the jar and the wall. Also you have to be careful not to pull one of the spiders legs off which can happen if you accidently pinch his leg between the enevolpe and the rim of the jar. When you use a glass jar you can see him run away from the envelope and usually he runs up into the jar. Why are spiders always boys in my mind? I don't know. Anyway, if the spider is in a web away from a wall this is when you use the book. See? Genius!

So, back to why the agreement is off in my bedroom, BECAUSE what if something happens and I miss or I trip and drop the whole deal, then the spider is free in my bedroom where I SLEEP. I don't want some pissed off spider crawling in my mouth or in my ear while I'm sleeping. I know its not rational. I never said here's my completly rational agreement with spiders. I'm simply acknowledging that I do, in fact, have an agreement with the spiders.

One of these little guys was perched in his little web this morning between the rail of the stairs and the wall of the entry way. Keri alerted me of his presents. (Btw, Keri and I have an agreement about spiders too. The agreement is that I deal with them. The other part is, she deals with shower drain and most importantly the disgusting clump of hair that gets stuck in there, even more now that my hair is longer. Just the thought of all that wet hair in the drain makes me gag a little. Thank you Keri.)

So, I go over to the rail to lay out my plan for today's spider removal project. This was definetly a case for the jar and book method. So, I slid the book on the inside of the web and slowly positioned my jar on the other side of the web with the spider lined up to be captured between the book and the jar. YES!!! I have success.

I call out to Keri to open the front door and here comes the tricky part, releasing the spider. This process usually involves a squeal and a high knees run back into the house. This particular day I lifted the jar and shook the book to release the spider and because I captured him on his web he went into survival mode and swung from his web that was attached to the book like Spider-Man, which resulted in me freaking out a little and I dropped the book.

I'm sorry Mr. Spider I tried to get you out alive.

Happy Birthday Garrison

This day 24 years ago my life was changed forever. I knew my life was going to be different, but I had no idea how in love I was going to be for the rest of my life. My son is so very special. He is genuine and gentle. He is romantic and true. My son is compassionate and caring. He can be shy and totally and completely hilarious. My son is a beautiful soul. He loves babies and music. He is deep and silly. Today is his birthday and I am holding him in my mind in a warm loving momma hug.

I can not believe it has been 24 years. It seems impossible. I feel like I am only about 32 myself. When ever I have dreams about him, he is always still little even if in my dream he is dealing with adult issues, he's usually anywhere from 5- 9 years old in my dreams. I wonder if my mom dreams about me. I wonder if she does, if I am always little. Hmmm.

I love you Garrison. Happy Birthday. This is always one of the happiest days of my life.

You wanna know what I love???

I am focusing on what brings me pleasure, and I love to see a baby smile. I love the pure positive energy that exudes off people when they feel love. I love hearing joyous laughter. I love watching someone discover something about themselves. I love watching a two year old discover how dexterous they can be.

I find pleasure in a simple observation of someone enjoying music. I find pleasure in quiet moments watching as nature does it's thing. I find pleasure in watching beautiful white puppy clouds drifting along in the big blue sky. I find pleasure in discovering the differant colors in a days highlights and shadows.

I love hugs. I love my cute dogs face. He is simply adorable.

I love honoring the authenticity in people. I love touching peoples lives with encouraging words. I love seeing a smile reach across someones face when I compliment them in some small way that makes their day. I love letting people know that they are loved andconsidered.

It feels so good to love, honor and be peacful. I love the way a good pen feels on good paper. I love the way my lips feel when I just put on a fresh layer of lip stuff. I love how I feel after a nice hard workout. I love Brie. I love the smooth rich taste of coffee with cream and sugar.

I love the feel of a soft comfy blanket. I love the smell of an outdoor fire. I love the crackle of a fire and the crispness in the air when it's cool enough to build a fire. I love the sound of a river rushing by. I love the feeling of a hug. I love the buttery taste of a croissant. I love lamp.