Off the hook

Nothing like a blast of loud music to shock the shit right out of you! It happens just about every time I put my ear buds in to write.

Oh man, I just did a focus wheel on being in alignment and being in the vortex and it brought up a lot of feelings from the past and I know I have written about this before because it feels so familiar, this awareness. It goes back to feeling responsible for other people's happiness and I love the contrast of that because the freedom I feel when I realize again that I am not responsible for anyone else but me, it is so wonderful. I love knowing that I am only responsible for my own happiness, my own alignment, my own, my own, my own.

I am so glad I raised my son, Garrison, with the teaching that, this is your life and you can live it your own way, and what he does with that teaching is his own business. My lesson is acceptance.

This IS my life and I WILL live it my own way. I will do what I want in my life, because I am the one that chose to be here. I am the one that decided to take the risk. I am the one with bugs in my teeth when I stick my head out the window and feel the zest of being alive with wind blowing in my hair and the skin on my face is vibrating because we're going so fast. I am the one that gets the rewards of living my life my way. I am responsible for my alignment, not yours, not hers, not his, not theirs, not anyone but me!! Just me and my alignment. I am blissfully happy with my responsibility to myself and my alignment.

I can dance and sing and play and swim in the warm ocean water. I can sleep peacefully in the sun, relax on a massage table and I can eat whatever I want. I can wear whatever I want. I can laugh and smile and I can be at ease and feel such a sense of relief that I am off the hook and no longer responsible for anyone else but me.

When feelings of negativity or resistance come up and alert me that I am trying to take responsibility for some one else, I will take a deep breath and pause. In that pause I will be reminded that I am only responsible for me. Other people can work their own shit out. I have my own shit to work out and I am putting in the effort to do so. I know it takes effort and focusing on the positive. I positively love my life and the wonderful opportunities I have to practice on my lessons. I can take my time and think about what I want.

In the past I have been quick to decide things because I was trying to guess what someone else might want me to decide, but now I know to stay true to myself and make decisions based on what I want. I can take my time to see how I truly feel about the decision before I speak. I give myself permission to take my time. Take my time to make the decision that feels best to me.

I am allowed to make the decision for myself that matches my desire. I am responsible for my alignment and you are responsible for yours, not anyone else's.

Do what makes you happy and let them make decisions for themselves that make them happy. Nothing I decide for myself makes anyone else truly happy anyway, so why not make myself happy? I am worthy of happiness! True happiness!!!

Enjoy the journey. Enjoy the practice. Be easy about it. Be a patient teacher with yourself. Mistakes happen. We are all out here doing our best with what we've got, reaching for better, feeling better and getting better!