Woes of a hair twirler

Since I've started growing out my hair I have this uncontrollable tendency to twirl my hair. If you have seen me in the last couple of months you've probably noticed I can't seem to keep my fingers from twirling my hair and the reason I am mentioning it here in my blog is to raise awareness.

Awareness? Awareness of what?

Awareness of a rare condition know a Hair Twirlers Elbow aka H.T.E.

Symptoms of H.T.E consist of highly defined forearm muscles of one arm (usually the flexor capri ulnaris and palmaris longus, the two muscles responsible for movement of the thumb and first two fingers) slight pain in the ulnar collateral ligament and tightness in the deltoid of the afflicted arm.

If you know people that twirl their hair, please warn them of this rare condition. It can be a pain. I am trying to stop twirling my hair, but it is so soft and provides a self soothing affect to twirl it around my fingers, but it is beginning to affect my typing. There are no local support groups, so I am on my own trying to work through it.

When I notice I am reaching for my hair to start twirling, I ask myself if I am upset. If the answer is no, I ask myself then why are you trying to soothe yourself by twirling your hair? If the answer is yes, then I ask myself is twirling your hair going to help your upset? I am diligently working on resolving my own H.T.E. condition through behavior modification and a consistent application of arnicare gel.

Awareness is half the battle. Please spread the word.

Let it alone

You absolutely would not believe some of the things that people say to me sometimes. I called a guy the other day and he said, "Hold on! I can't hear you, I've got two chickens in my hands."

What??? (sigh) I have no idea. I just let it go, because to try and clarify would only further complicate my day. Obviously because he had two chickens in his hands.

Another guy walks into the office, looks me straight in the face and the first words out of his mouth, I kid you not one bit were, I don't like your hair.

I received a call the other day from a guy that wanted to make a payment toward his account, so I clarified the amount that was due and replied, "Ok, I'm ready when you are." and he asked if he could pay by check or debit (over the phone mind you). I said, "Well,...I can't take a check over the phone,..." He was befuddled and said, "Damnit! I got everything ready before I called too, so I could write you a check" I shook my head in disbelief and asked just to clarify that this wasn't a misunderstanding on my part, Were you intending to make a payment over the phone? He was, indeed. I said, Alrighty, well then we'll need your debit or credit card number. He was shuffling things around and mumbling while he was looking for his wallet that he couldn't seem to find. I suggested he call back when he found it.

Guess what!!! He called back. His wallet as in his car. Ok, I'm ready for the number. I could hear him shuffling through his wallet. I can't find my card. Maybe I left it in my car. Again, I suggested he call back when he found it. Not even two minutes later he called back. It was, in fact on the floor behind his drivers seat. (sigh) Why I have to know all this, is a frustrating mystery to me. So, finally he reads me the number.

Guess what!!!! Transaction denied! Seriously???? He asked me to try again. Denied!!! Ok, lemme call my bank this is my good card. It should work.

For Fuck's sake how does this guy survive? I really don't understand. I had the pleasure of speaking to him one more time and on the 5th call, we did finally get the payment applied to his account. Geez!!!

But the topper of all stories was when this old Italian woman from New York came in with her husband. She was waiting for him while he went in for his appointment. While waiting, she was perched on the edge of her chair, just waiting for someone to glance her way. I could feel her tense yearning to be acknowledged and my bleeding heart caused my eyes to glance her way with a slight greeting smile on my face and tip of my head, I asked her how she was and that was all the invitation she needed. She popped up out of that chair as if she were spring loaded and made a b line to my desk. She started in on all the ways her life was miserable.

In her thick Italian/New York accent she explain how she had been to the "Dawkta to see about an infection." uncomfortable pause,... "Ya' know',...down'air" She raised her eyebrows, opened her eyes real wide and tilted her head towards her nether regions.

OH MY GAWD!!!! I can not believe this woman is telling me this!!!! She proceeded to explain how she asked her Dawkta what she should do about it and he recommended that she, in her words, "Let it alone".

Yes! What I am telling you is that this 80 year old, 4 foot tall, white haired woman was telling me right there in our dental office reception area about her infected vagina. Why? WHY??? Why me??? And believe me, I am saving you from many of the details of this very VERY awkward situation. She's not even a patient of our office,...

I told you that you wouldn't believe me,... But it's true. I guess I just have this look about me that dares people to try and get a reaction out of me, or I have an energy about me that allows people to feel very free and comfortable with me and they just open up like pandora's box. All I have to say is, Some things are private and that is ok.

Gettin' girlie and loving it

Well folks this girlie girl is happy to report she has just discovered a new love, and to be completely honest, it's not really a new love, but more like a new version of an old tried and true love.

This report comes with an admission as well. I, Angel Zamudio, have an ever so slight addiction to lip stuff, lippy, chapstick (not the brand), or whatever you call it. The old tried and true for the last several years has been Dessert Essence lip rescue with shea butter, my friend Lori gave me on my 40th birthday. Love It!!!! Before that I was an avid Burt's Bees Beeswax lip balm user and before that it was Lip Medix by Blistex and even before that it was Carmex.

You can ask anyone that knows me I can not leave me house with out my lip stuff. I have one by my bed, in my car, at my desk at work, at my writing table at home, one in the kitchen, one in my jacket and one in my purse. See its only a slight addiction.

But now, thanks to my two of my best friends I have EOS in my life which I LOVE and was completely heart broken when I lost my very first one in a recent trip to Seattle, but guess what, I was surprised to find a replacement had been left on my front door step. So sweet. And NOW, I also LOVE these ultra shiny Victoria Secrets lip glosses. I love them for different reasons. The lip rescue and EOS brands I love for the soothing creaminess they provide and the ultra shiny ones I like for the, well,... shininess of them. They really are not my favorite for one particular reason and that is because of how sticky they are, but I am willing to sacrifice for the shiny, shimmery sexiness of the ultra shiny ones.

I am having lots of fun on my girl journey and my hair is getting long. Well, longer. Yippee!!!!

That's right, I said, Suck it!!!

You know what? One of these days I am going to learn that positivity isn't for everyone and those folks that don't dig positivity can suck it!!!!

Really it should not matter to me if someone else likes positivity or not. Right? Do I give a shit if someone else wants to be miserable? Does someone else being miserable affect my level of joy? Only if,...wait for it,

I. Allow. It.

Frankly folks, I am TIRED of giving my power away. Should I temper my level of joy because someone else chooses to be miserable? The answer my friend is blowing in the wind and the wind is saying, Hell NO!!!! I am holding on to my power because giving away my personal power is like leaving a light on in a room when you leave it empty. No one is using that light and it's a waste of energy. Have you ever tried to bolster someone up that is dead set on having a pity party? Waste of energy. Another reason is because it doesn't matter how full of positive energy I have or harness, honestly, I could very possibly be the very most positive person I know and it doesn't matter if I were the most positive person in the Universe a positive attitude is NOT something you can gift someone, even if you have an abundance of positivity.

Having a positive attitude is a choice and you can not make someone else choose. You can only choose for yourself.

I choose positivity and I allow others to be whatever they choose to be. It really is that easy. The reason it is that easy is because a belief is a thought that you keep thinking and your brain is very very powerful. Think of the things that you have convinced your self of,...

Why not keep thinking something that serves you well?

I choose positivity and I allow others to be whatever they choose to be without allowing it to affect my level of joy.

One leads to another,...

I wrote this little introduction for one of my blog posts on Facebook last week, "We all have the right to be ourselves, even if it doesn't make sense to anyone else." and a very amazing thing happened, I received a text message from my cousin, Jason, that gave me cold chills all up and down my entire body.

So you understand his text let me give you a little back story. He and his wife, Deanna have been married maybe 2 years. I honestly don't remember when they were married, but it was fairly recent. They lived in Midwest City, Oklahoma and Deanna used to live in Ponca City, which is 107 miles from Midwest City. It turns out Deanna was really missing her children and grandchildren. She had to move back to Ponca city to keep her heart happy. Jason felt he needed to stay in Midwest City for his son and probably other reasons too, but I'm not sure. So, this happily married couple decided to live apart for the sake of being true to themselves and what they individually felt was best for them. I asked Jason for his permission to share his response and he said, "Sure thing".

So, here is his text to me, "We all have the right to be ourselves, even if it doesn't make sense to anyone else!! Deanna and I are wearing our wedding rings again. We've gotten to the point that when someone asks us, "What the hell are y'all doing!!??" We agreed we would respond, "It's not for you to understand. These are our lives and we love each other." I didn't marry Deanna with conditions. I love her unconditionally. She feels like she needs to be in Ponca City, I don't love her less. She chooses to stay committed to a man that treats her with respect and will remain faithful, even from a distance. What's so hard to understand?? We just don't try to explain anymore. We have a right to be ourselves and feel the way we feel. Love you, Angel"

I have read and re read that text several times and I get cold chills every single time. I am so happy for these two love birds that they are able to make an arrangement that works for them regardless of what anyone else thinks or believes.

The other thing that came to my mind is that it's not just gay couples or interracial couples that are fighting for their relationships to be accepted. There are all kinds of relationships that don't make a lick of sense to some, but mean the world to someone else.

Not everyone is you, so not every relationship is going to be defined by your standards. You live your life and the rest of us will do the same. We'll even serve you breakfast when you come to our place of work. No questions asked.

You saw my wife???? (big smiley face)

If you read my blog post, I am a writer, then you'll get this reference, Its another time and here's another story. If you did not read that post,... What are you waiting for, it was a good one.

I knew I was going to have a pretty good chunk of time between dropping Keri off at work and getting to my appointment. I needed to find a place to camp out for a bit. So, I decided in advance to take my iPad with me, find a little coffee shop close to my appointment and do some writing.

What I decided upon was not ideal, but it worked. I landed in the Good Samaritan Hospital Espresso bar right across the street from my doctor's office. I wanted a softer environment, I wanted something comfy. I wanted that little coffee shop off East Burnside that has the sunken side room off to the left with the big couch, over stuffed chairs and mix matched dining room tables and chairs that looked like they were plucked straight out of the 70's. That coffee lounge comes equipped with open funky artsy chatty people. My people.

What I got at Good Sam Espresso bar was plastic tables and chairs. All matching and perfectly clean, not that I have anything against clean. I certainly don't, but it was the sterile feeing I didn't appreciate, in the ambience and otherwise. Let me explain.

I was standing in line and there was only one person ahead of me. I was facing forward, as you would expect and from behind me I heard a woman say, "I saw your wife yesterday,..." and me being me, I, of course thought she was talking to me and without a thought I spun around to see who I was having the pleasure of randomly bumping into. To my surprise she was not someone I knew, but again without a thought I chuckled and placed the tips of my fingers upon my chest, as if I were surprised, because I actually was, and I said with a smile, "Oh, I thought you were talking to me,..." Much like the ambience her response was very sterile, no returned smile or chuckle,...Oh wait, I did get something from her a dead pan glance and then a dismissive turn away.

I didn't really put much thought into her response or the exchange and went about my business of deciding what I was going to order. I decided on a skinny cappuccino, but while I was waiting for the person ahead of me, I noticed a man, dressed in a pressed white shirt, tie and dress pants, had walked up to the self serve station. I heard conversation going on behind me, but I hadn't really put the nice dressed man together with dead pan Nance. As I saw him standing beside me with his self serve coffee already prepared, I decided to let him go before me. No problem, right? Then he wouldn't have to wait for my cappuccino to be prepared. He looked like he was probably on his way to work and might appreciate the consideration.

The person ahead of me paid up and left, I looked his way and tipped my head forward and said, Go ahead. He stepped forward, paid for his coffee and left. As he left, he and dead pan Nance exchanged pleasantries. OK, what's wrong there? I'll tell you what's wrong!!! He didn't even smile at me or say thank you or anything,... ZERO acknowledgment of the consideration I just gave him. What the fuck??? Strike two! That's what the fuck.

Big deep breath.

Breathing

Breathing

Breathing

Screw it! I had time ahead of me to sit and enjoy my coffee. Time to write. Time to focus on something pleasant and I wasn't about to waste a single moment of that opportunity to relive or stay focused on an unpleasant experience that already happened and that I had zero power to change.

So, why am I writing about it now? I am writing about it now because I'd like to share with others a reminder that we don't have control over how other people behave. People can be shitty sometimes, but that doesn't mean we have to be shitty back or carry their shitty treatment of us around with us. It feels so much better to rise above and carry on with our own good vibes. We have control of our own selves and we can choose to step off the roller coaster of irrational reaction and choose peace by letting it go.

I am a writer.

One day last week I had an appointment and I very much like to arrive on time or even early is better. In this particular case, my appointment was at 9am and I was across the street in a coffee shop at 7:45. Now, that is unusually early for me, but I had taken Keri to work and my appointment was not far from her office, so I decided to hunt down a coffee shop, iPad in tote and pretend to be living my dream. I am a writer sitting in a coffee shop with my headphones on. Writing and sipping coffee. This is my job. It felt,...Hmm,... Let's see, how can I put this?

AH-MAZE-ING!!!!!

I sorta feel like I should write more about how amazing it felt, but a little voice is telling me that it doesn't have to be explained because what matters is what I felt and am still feeling. I fucking LOVE IT!!!!! This is me. This is what I do. I am a writer, bitches.

Picture me hopping around with excitement, sportin' the biggest smile you ever did see, right smack in the middle of my face.

This like many other blogs totally went sideways from where I intended when I started. That's one of the totally amazing things about writing, you never really know where you're going to go. You just follow the energy and the slight little nudges of intuition and then, there you are, right in the middle of your own manifested reality.

I love it! I love it! I love it!!!!!

So, do you wanna know what I intended to write about? Ok, Ok. I'll tell you, but I have to say you're a little bit like a little kid begging me for one more story right before bedtime and since I'm the grown up in this situation (a rarity) I have to let you know that we are going to save that story for another time. The good energy from this story is very sacred and must be held in a place of reverence. The telling of another story would affect the good vibes I got flowing right now.

Sweet dreams, little one and we shall meet again another time for another story. And now you have something to look forward to in your future.